Friday, January 30, 2009

Frantic Friday

Greetings and Salutations!

I'm feeling a bit giddy, as I have just spent most of the evening cooking 5 pounds of bacon and baking 3 dozen muffins for a potluck/speaker meeting tomorrow morning. I posted the picture above all in good fun...honestly--I thought it was a badger. Then I looked closer (and with my glasses on) and saw that it was an overweight CAT. lol

I got out of the house today, and almost didn't get back in. The little car did not want to come up the driveway through the piles of snow. It got a little hairy as I kept slipping backwards to the street. yikes! BUT--little Caylee got her stitches out, I got some groceries. I got off the homestead for about 2 hours, which was a good thing. Haven't been out much the past 2 weeks.

Tonight there was an edition of Sound Stage on public television from Chicago, featuring BB King. I love that man!!!! He called Terrence Howard (the actor/musician)up out of the audience and they made beautiful music. Terrence is a wonderful singer. I think I'm gonna look for one of his cd's... It was really great. We got to se BB King at a lovely small venue in Asheville, NC in 2004, just before we moved. I hope I get to see him again soon--he knows how to put on a show!

Not too much to post, except to say that I'm glad to be here. I am bone weary and need to get to sleep as I have to be down at the club by 8:30. That means I have to be up by 6 to get all the animals taken care of and myself dressed and hubby out the door by 8 to make it there. When you live out in the hills, ya gotta make plans. lol

Down to 16 degreesF right now, but tomorrow is supposed to be in the mid 40's. Hallelujah!

Count your blessings, boys and girls...


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thursday at the races...

[My little darling, Leo de Catrio]


It has been some kind of a day today...from the beginning to the (almost) end. I woke up this morning thinking about a couple of women I sponsored who have gone AWOL. One I haven't talked to in several weeks and the other 2 it's been a month plus. One is a youngish chronic relapser and the other 2 are older women. As the day wore on, I was contacted by all 3 of them. 1 drank a couple of drinks, but didn't get drunk. Does that mean anything? (lol) 1 is obviously using and told me I didn't make her feel special enough, and this wasn't helping her. (LMAO) and the other is a woman who relapsed after 20+ years, and knows what she needs to be doing, but refuses to do it. SHE called to check on me and see how I was doing. :)

I was talking with a close friend tonight and said, I told them all I'm not that kind of sponsor. I don't chase after people. If you want this--fine. If you don't --fine. What do I care? This isn't for people who need it, it's for people who want it. If you want it and are willing to do the work, I'll go to hell and back for you. But don't waste my time ...I'm a busy woman. If you don't want to stop drinking, then go drink. Have a ball.

She was laughing her head off.

I told her that that's just the sponsor school I went to. And when I was new, I was 10 pounds of crazy in an 8 pound bag too. But I never for a minute thought somebody else was going to do this for me. And even today, I don't live in that delusion, ever, that maybe it could be different. Because alcohol takes me places I don't want to go. And believe me, NOBODY wants to go there with me. lol

All this made me very grateful. So grateful, in fact, that I signed up on a new-ish site called 365 days of Grace in Small Things. And every day you write 5 things that grace your life, that you are blessed by. I thought it was such a grand idea, I sent it to everyone I know! Just another way to do a daily gratitude list... This is the stuff that changes the world....

All told, it's been a really super day. I was blessed to get some exercise to EXORCISE my cabin-fever demons by walking the babydawg out in the snow around the house a few laps. She was such a delight to watch as she jumped into snow drifts, dug holes in the snow (no doubt looking for snow monsters), and just lookd absolutely ecstatic about being out there with me. Tomorrow we go get the stitches out. The doc wants a look-see, just because the gash was so bad. It has healed nicely. A blessing!

I fixed baked chicken and stuffing with butternut squash and pickled beets from my garden for supper, so the oven running warmed the house up even more while it filled the place with mouth watering aromas. Twice blessed there. We had a relatively healthy supper and filled our tummies. So--thrice blessed!

I'm getting sleepy, so I need to finish up here. We are having supper with the neighbors tomorrow, unless something changes. They are retired and such lovely people...he has hurt his back. He was doing better, but today when I called to see what I could bring, she sounded worried about maybe having to call it off. I said if she did it would be fine, we'll do it another time. (This is the rescheduled one now, lol. But they are in their middle 70's I think at least, and these things happen.)

Wishing each and every one of you a day filled with all the blessings life has to offer:

Live simply
Love deeply
Speak Kindly.
And leave the rest to God.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Wunnerful Wednesday

[Lucy in the snow with diamonds....] click to enlarge.

A full day of walking the puppy in the snow and being a domestic goddess.
Watching that pup frolic in snow up to her shoulders had me laughing and experiencing that moment of clarity about living in the present. It's how animals live all the time, and we could do well to learn a few things from them. She has to be on the leash every time she goes out, because otherwise she's running a hundred miles per hour. She's supposed to be on bedrest, but I kjeep taking her out to go potty. I have puppy pads in here for her, and she uses them sometimes, but she acts like she's done something wrong every time. lol We had her housebroken for probably 2 months before she got hit. So I'm sure she is having a hard time peeing in the house again--pad or no pad. Bless her little heart...

I made a lovely lentil soup for supper. Put it in the crockpot and it cooked up like a charm. I had some leftover bbq'd country ribs from the other night, so I cubed them and threw them in, along with some other stuff. Made a loaf of bread, too. It was a good hearty supper for a cold winter evening. Not a lot of leftovers, but some, enough to put a small bowl into hubby's lunch for tomorrow with a peanut butter sandwich. That'll hold him over til supper.

I was in my pantry searching for something today when I noticed that the latest stray cat that adopted us, Muffin, seems to have built a little nest in there. She was so starving and scrawny when she came and I thought she was just fattening up. Now I suspect she's pregnant. Ai yi yi...we do not need kittens.

Anyway, I was looking around at all the good wholesome food in there, and I realized that I really do have a lot to be grateful for these days. Without exagerrating, I'll bet there are a hundred meals in there. Is this over the top ??????

I am blessed to be well fed. I am blessed to be educated in more ways than one. I am blessed to be a child of the Universe.

Today's blessings number in the tens. How do I pass it around? How do I share the bounty and prosperity?

Life is a banquet...


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tittilating Tuesday.

A day full of the blessings of home and hearth. (Well, mostly.)

It took hubby an hour and fifteen minutes to make the 25 minutes drive home tonight. We have lots of ice and snow and folks are driving slow. We're not as bad off as parts of Missouri, Kentucky and Arkansas...they've declared states of emergency due the ice and power outages. So far, knock wood, we haven't lost power.

I called and cancelled my chiropractor appointment for tomorrow morning at 8 because there's no way I'm leaving my nest. lol

It's about 18 degrees and still snowing, but has slowed down and is supposed to stop any minute now. I have everything tended to and am about ready to go climb into my sleigh bed with the big quilts and warm hubby in it. I swear, the man is like a furnace. lol

I am blessed to have a semblance of sanity in my life today. I am blessed to be able to tell the difference.

I am blessed to have some prayers to say and a Great Spirit to say them to.

I am blessed to be learning some really important lessons these days, about life and love and the world.

I am blessed for all the usual reasons and by all the usual suspects. lol

Sleep beckons....


Monday, January 26, 2009

Monday's Mix

[ Little Caylee, battle scars and all]. click to enlarge

{WOOHOO!!!!!! This is my 100th post on this blog !!!!}

A cold and snowy day today. I stayed in mostly, except for a couple of jaunts out to haul garbage to the road, take puppy out on the leash (which she is tolerating much better since deciding that I'm not just trying to hang her) so that she can go potty, feeding chickens and getting the mail. The worst of the storm is coming in tonight, dropping another 3-5 inches on us probably. I seem to live just above the line where the moderate weather ends and the crazy begins.

Of course, I don't have to drive anywhere or do anything I don't want to (much) so the weather doesn't affect me like it used to, from that point of view. As soon as hubby walked in the door, I sent him back out--to the store to get a couple of gallons of water and some dog food, cat food, and bleach. While he was gone, I got the cornbread ready to go into the oven and it was done just about the time he was ready to eat. lol Now I have everything I need and if I can't get out for 2 or 3 days it won't matter.

We watched some tv and hubby was off to bed early. He worked really hard today and he gets up at 4:30, so 9PM is a long time to be awake. I got his lunch made for tomorrow, but haven't cleaned up the kitchen yet. He was heating water for his bath and I had to wait. No hurry....if I don't get it done tonight, the Brownies can sneak in and do it for I almost NEVER go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. Tonight may be the exception....

I got hooked into reading some foodie blogs this morning, and before I knew it, 3 hours had flown by. OH my!!! There are an amazing number of blogs out there...on any subject you can imagine. Homesteading and cooking and recovery and art are my main interests. Oh, and Gardening, of course. If I'm going to keep spending this much time in front of the computer I'm going to have to get a new chair! (This one is almost shot). AND new glasses, as today I was really feeling the eye strain. I've needed new glasses for awhile, and was hoping to be able to wait for some insurance...

I'm grateufl to know that I can make it through the winter sober, that I can live happy, joyous and free, and that I can keep my side of the street clean most of the time. There's a little skirmish going on around here between some AA folks, and I just have to remember what my old pal Art used to say... "I ain't got a dog in this fight." I'm sure that it will conclude and heal, these things usually do. The difference is that today, it's none of my business. And I have learned to keep my mouth shut. "Twasn't always the

Love and tolerance of others is our code. AA taught me that.

A drink will make nothing better. AA taught me that, too.

What other people think of me is none of my business. In the end, it's all between me and God. Which brings to mind this: (It has been attributed to Mother Teresa as well, but Keith seems to have the copyright.)

The Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001

And THAT, as they say, is a wrap!


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Suddenly Sunday

[The back yard...]

This weekend went FAST! lol. I was up early this morning and stayed in most of the day. Our water pump isn't working and I haven't been able to do laundry for a week, so we loaded it up and went into town to use the gigundo washers and dryers. It wound up costing about 13 dollars was all...and there's something nice about getting it all done at once. Of course, I usually do only 2-3 loads per week, and can do other things here at home while it's washing and drying. I'll be glad when it's warm weather again and I can start hanging them outdoors once more. It's extraordinarily satisfying to me...hanging clothes on the clothes line and the smell and the feel and everything about the laundry experience shifts.

Dear husband goes back to work in the morning. And I'll get some housecleaning done. I like a tidy house...even when I have to redo thing s again and again because I have puppies. lol I think I will make some ham and beans and buttermilk cornbread for supper tomorrow. That means I have to get them soaking tonight. That's a highly satisfying dish that serves as a nice high fiber/low carb comfort food. I think I have a hamhock in the freezer. And I know I have several kinds of beans....great Northerns, pintos, black beans, adzuki beans, and butterbeans (limas). I'll just have to pick one...

I'm feeling especially blessed again today. Plenty of food in the pantry, plenty of love and understanding in my life. Plenty of [clean] warm clothes. PLenty of time to appreciate my llife. Plenty of energy to get things done. Plenty of gratitude to keep me being grateful, not hateful.

Time for bed....tomorrow will come early. The yards and roads are all pristine white with new fallen snow and all's right with my world...


Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saxicolous Saturday..

It has been one of those days when I feel like I'm living someone else's life. There's an old song that goes..."these must be somebody else's blues..." or something like that. It's kinda how I feel.

The word in the header, saxicolous, means, growing among rocks.

That describes the feelings of being uncomfortable in my own skin, to me. And I don't know why this happens to me every now and again. I used to feel like this all the time, and now that I don't...well, I don't like it. And all I can do, pretty much, is hang on until it passes. Or take an action-change a feeling. But this one is different, and somewhere inside me, I think I need to sit with it and see what it is. It hasn't been a horrible day, nor has it been so uncomfortable that I want to drink it away. Just off kilter. In a place I don't belong. Growing among rocks.

I sat for awhile today, pondering it all. Once I was able to quiet my mind, I immediately thought of something that I used to have growing around my home in California, up on the far north coast, near Oregon. It was a beautiful little plant called Rose Moss. It looked more like a succulent than it did a moss. Little colorful flowers. The stuff grew on rock walls and in cracks on sidwalks. And I thought, Rose Moss is okay. It's just got different needs than lots of other plants. It's quite lovely, in its own spidery way. And it is certainly a sight to behold, just growing there, thriving among the rocks.

So, maybe the message is that it's all good. Doesn't matter where you are, or what's happening in your world. That there is a place for everyone and everything, and beauty in it all.

This place of discomfort is maybe just another view into the myriad of me's that reside here. It's also a vehicle that slows me down, keeps me home, and makes me look at myself. More than once I've done a 4th step after an episode of this (for lack of a better description). It never lasts terribly long, a day or two at most. And I come away with a little more insight into what goes on in this brain of mine, and what I want, and what I don't.

Feeling blessed in a blue-sy kind of way.

Feeling grateful for the people in my life who love me, warts and all.

Feeling like I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight.


Friday, January 23, 2009

A Fitful Friday...

It's been a long day the doctor early, they made me wait,wait,wait. And I was hurting, and I'm not ever my best self under those conditions. So I got lots of opportunities for growth, today.

I'm blessed to be a sober woman, I know. I really knew it this afternoon when I was sideswiped in the parking lot of the Walmart by a drunken woman on foot. She nearly mowed me down as I was walking to the store, and then she screamed at me as she went by. And I saw me about 20 years ago...everybody IN MY WAY. Me, hating the world. The stench of old booze and sweat following me like a little cloud. The impotence and the hopelessness and the fury. Honestly, it was a little too close for comfort.

When I was a year or two sober, I went to a morning meeting that was down by the fishing docks in the coastal town I lived in. It was one of those real, in your face, kind of meetings. And it never failed that once I sat down, some homeless guy would saunter in, grab a handfull of donuts and some free coffee and park himself right next to me. And sometimes the stench would make me gag. Lots of winos and whiskey drunks there. And sometimes they would never make eye contact with anybody and sometimes they would chatter nonsensically through the entire meeting. And sometimes they were really starving and sometimes they were reeking of booze and urine. And I would always think...There but for the grace of God go I. I always thought noone could tell how much I drank or when I'd been drinking. And these lessons would be right in front of me every time. And I knew how lucky I was, how blessed I was to get a chance to live my life sober. I will never forget that place or those people or the important lessons I learned there.

So here's to Sobriety, with all it's pitfalls and bonuses and opportunities.
May we all keep hold of the brass ring.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thursday's blessings

[Hubby and I at Dr. Bob's grave in Akron,Ohio]

Back again, to catch up. lol

The meeting went well with about 30 in attendance. The cake was fabulous, I brought a long stemmed yellow rose for my sponsee and got to present the coin and put a star in her gold card. It was a nice evening all around, with several of my other sponsees in attendance as well as a few folks I haven't seen in a while.

My grandson was supposed to come tomorrow, but I called and cancelled and told him gram was just hurting too bad and wouldn't be any fun. Bless his little heart...he texted me twice and emailed me once to say he hoped I was feeling better! He's my angel boy...

I have an appoointment with my guy tomorrow in the early morning. Hopefully he can get me aligned oin just a few sessions... I'd like to not have to take pain pills if there's any way around it. (they just make me sleep) Someone told me to try Excedrin Back and Body, so I will get some of that. I'm all showered and ready for bed, but wanted to stop in and say that I don't think there's any greater blessing than to watch people get this thing, and stay sober and lead happy useful lives. The girl tonight that I am honored to sponsor was brand new when I first moved here. I have watched her unfold and bloom and embrace, both her own life and the world. It's an awesome thing...

God's got a deal for drunks that don't drink....


A melding of days...

[The stove and coffeepot in Dr. Bob's Kitchen~~ Akron, Ohio.]


Trying to stay really really grateful this morning...could barely walk by yesterday evening. Couldn't get in to see the chiropractor until tomorrow morning...and I couldn't sittin the chair to type by about 10. SO, off to bed I went...heating pad in hand, Tylenol PM in me and fitfully slept through the night. I was out and about yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks and was really tired by the time the sun went down. I'm sure that didn't help. Not feeling too much better today,I'm afraid. Though at around 10 I can put some lidocaine pain patches on and that will take the edge off it so that I can at least function and get things donme I need to do. Tonight at the women's meeting one of my sponsees is getting her 4 year coin. So, I have a cake to bake and a card to make as well. Then on Friday I am picking up grandson from school and he will spend the night. So it will be a fun weekend (I hope). I haven't hurt this bad for this long in awhile.

The weather has hit a warming streak, and I am sure grateful for that. It was 40 yesterday. It's supposed to 46 today. But then it's taking a wintertime dive again, back down to the high 20's. But honestly, that even feels warm compared to those zero temps we had!

I am grateful to be able to look at the brighter side of things. When I drank, I was such a pessissimist (on the inside). I worked in restraunts much of my life, and when you work in the hospitality business, you are expected to act "AS IF" all the time. Because nobody cares about how YOU feel. They only care that their dining experience is a good one and it's your job to make sure of it. When I came into the rooms of AA, and heard people talking about "acting as if" I knew exactly what they were talking about. That part was easy for me, lol. But on the inside, more often than not, I was boiling with negativity. I don't know when I started always seeing the glass as half empty...early on I don't think it was like that. But events and situations that I got myself into, bad choices and mistakes I made, these things twisted and perverted my personality into what I became by the end of my drinking career. And I do know, I never want to live with that girl again...

I wanted to write a little since I missed last night. And I will be back again tonight, probably...full of the hope and pleasure and joy of watching someone pick up a coin for staying sober, one day at a time, no matter what.

Life is good.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An historical moment ...

[Me...circa 1978. On a beach in California, just south of San Francisco)

Well, I spent a good part of the morning watching the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States. It was breathtaking, seeing that record crowd on Pennsylvania Avenue. It was both uplifting and tear-jerking to see the Tuskegee Airmen sitting in the crowd, to see the people of this country witness one of their own finally being sworn in as president, the highest office in the land. Especially the older folks, the ones who have lived closer to the injustices and racism, perhaps. I am proud to have been part of the color of change.

Today I am grateful that I have a television, so that I could feel like I was part of this historic moment. I am grateful that I can feel my feelings, and have hope for the future of the world. I am grateful for gratitude, something I didn't always have. I am grateful to have lived long enough to see the paradigm shift.

The blessings of being able to write this, and having a computer connection, and having enough funds to care for my injured pet and good food to put on the table and pay my bills...all this makes my head spin sometimes. The blessings of a good sober marriage, sober friends, and having been released from that self made prison I was locked up in...these things are invaluable in my life today. The IDEA of being able to chat this morning with a friend from Australia on the cool is that?

I'm going in to lay my head on my pillow, do a quick 10th step and take a look at my day, and then it's off to sleepyland. 5 AM comes early....


Monday, January 19, 2009

Meandering through Monday...

It was a slow going laid back kind of day, for the most part. I took care of the little woofer, made sure she got her medicines at all the right times, cleaned up after her, and loved her UP. I straightened a little, I did some dishes, I fed some chickens. I took a nice long bath with water boiled on the stove, just like camping. Washed my hair and spiffed myself up. Felt much better after that...

The chicken and rice casserole was in the oven by 2:45, as it takes 3 hours to bake. I went online and paid some bills. I did a little reading from my new Amy Tan book. Talked to my neighbor on the phone for about half an hour--last night she had to call an ambulance and take him to the ER. His back is out and he couldn't get out of bed. He's a tall guy, probably over 6'3, and she couldn't help him, he was in excruciating pain. He's better today after all the

The pup update is that she is much better and walking more and even starting to be able to squat again. Bless her little heart...every now and again she twists the wrong way and cries out. She is still refusing to cooperate with the leash though. sigh...

It's been snowing for the past few hours, a light fluffy snow that has covered the car and yards. I have hubby's lunch made, his breakfast as well, and everything cleaned up. I'm ready to hit the sleepy I can barely keep my peepers open! I've been up since 6:30. Still not sleeping well, but maybe tonight...

I'm feeling a lot of gratitude sister-in-law is celebrating 25 years sober tomorrow (or today). My friend is celebrating 4 years. There are more sober people in my life than there are drunks. Wasn't always so...

Tomorrow is the big day in Washington. It's amazing we survived to this point. It will be a historic day and I plan to watch the whole shebang on television.

My quote for today is from ~~Tolkien. It goes like this:
"Faith dares the soul to look beyond where the eyes can see."

I really like that...


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Suddenly Sunday...

Criminey...these are me today...
And my hip is killing me and I may have to resort to a pain pill before going to bed. Last night I didn't sleep much at all...everytime I would have to turn over or shift, it was excruciating. It doesn't get like this too much anymore, and I rarely have to take the analgesics, but I guess crawling around under the truck the other day did a number on me.
I was talking to someone this afternoon about all the blessings that make us sit up and take notice, and how different they are from the blessings that we just take for granted. The ordinary blessings, the garden variety blessings. And how cool it is when something happens that makes us realize how much our lives are shaped by these things.
Like, I really got a first hand taste of how blessed we are when we have our health. When we can walk and work without pain. I will never be able to sit on the floor again. (For some goofy reason, that's a big one to me). I can't sit in chairs without a back on them for more than about 10 minutes. I can't lie in a hot bath...oh, I hate that...I cannot remember anymore, after 7.5 years, what it is like to not have chronic pain. To be able to stay on your feet for extended periods of time. To be able to sleep through the night. Little things.
Looking at our lives every day like everything is a miracle is an exercise in Beauty. It is an exercise in Hope. It is an exercise in Love.
Look around you. Pay attention. Practice the miracle of mindfulness.
Squeeze every drop out of every day...because you just never know.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Sliding into Saturday...

(I know, I know...I saw this on a bumper sticker once in South Carolina. When I saw the cup--I just had to have it).


Well, little babydawg came home from the hospital today around noon. She is doing as well as a dog on drugs can hope to do. She is very glad to be home with her family. Lots of tail wagging on all our parts! :)

She has about 4 medications she has to take twice a day. She still isn't doing too well at standing, and has peed on the puppy pad on her bed though. She's eating well too.


I haven't been to a meeting in a week, and I'm feeling it. I won't be able to go tomorrow either, nor to the District meeting because someone has to be here with the puppy. Since himself is chairing his homegroup tomorrow, and he is a brand new GSR for his group, he will stay down there and go to the meeting, and bring me back all the printouts and agenda and announcements. It's 30 miles there one way, and since he's going to be there anyway, I shall defer and stay home with pup. I am only the alternate DCM this grand reasons for me to be there. The only news I have is that I am workling on putting together a workshop for new GSR's (as altDCM here, I am automatically head of the workshop committee. I'll send an email to our DCM and explain things.) By next month's meeting, our life will be back to normal.

I will be on house arrest the next month, lol. Nursing this puppy is going to be a full time job for a while. I'm blessed to be able to do it.
"Caring for pets, and feeding wild birds in winter make us partners with God." says the little sticker on my fridge.

Signing off for now....I have a rosemary bread recipe to get posted over at Dragon Woman's. It's getting late and I'm whipped.

Sweet dreams, you dear bloggers.


Friday, January 16, 2009

Little Caylee....growing up

I'm posting early tonight because I am so tired I can't see. And I found this "Interview" from steveroni in my mailbox, so I thought it was a good time to do it.

My little pup is resting comfortably at the vet hospital and will come home tomorrow morning. I am so grateful befond belief that she is going to be okay. It will be about 4 weeks of bedrest (yeah, right!) to heal the tiny fractures on her "angel wings" (little wings on the sides of the vertebrae). She is stitched up and being all sweet and wowing the veterinary staff.

I am blessed to have friends who love me and pray for me and help me through my worst times by just being there for me.

I am blessed to have a husband who doesn't bat an eyelash when the vet hands him an estimate for $504.00. A man who says, well, we have plenty of rice and beans, right? A man who holds me and says "We have had miracles this year. We can have another one." A man who cried last night when he got home from work and saw our little darling laying there, unable to get up.

I am one especially blessed girl.

OKay--let the game begin.

Hi Ya, Annie. Thank you for playing!
1. If you could have had any job in the world, what would it have been?

2. Thinking about the three AA gatherings you've had at your house, describe the three most memorable happenings.

A)Looking around my house and gardens and seeing so many people from so many places and realizing I was friends with every one of them, and that we all had the common thread of recovery running through our lives.
B)Looking out the kitchen window while I was making apple crisp and seeing my JRT with a 2 headed fish in her mouth! (Turned out it was 2 fish, one had swallowed anoth. Mostly.)
C) Meeting my friend Andrew from Canada after knowing him online for 8+ years.

3. Of your life accomplishments, name one regret--if any. If NOT, what was your "finest achievement"? This sounds crazy, maybe, but I did volunteer work with the Literacy Council for 5 years, teaching non English speaking people to read and write basic English, to get a bank account, to write checks, to read maps. It was my finest hour.

4. What was/is the most complicated food dish you have ever prepared? I rarely prepare complicated food dishes. I try to Keep It Simple, Steve !

5. Leaving your house hurriedly, what three items would you carry out--(you alone have to tote them)? My fireproof safety box, My wedding pictures, my birdcage.
Can't wait.Steve E.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


I can't blog youngest pup was hit by a truck late this afternoon. She is hurt badly and may die tonight. I honestly didn't think she would live til Pat got home. She was down at the end of our drive and a truck came over the hill at the same time as a car came up the hill. He swerved and hit our little dog.

It's been a horrendous day...If she makes it through the night, we will take her to a vet first thing in the morning (there are no emergency clinics around here.). I am all cried out (or not) and have been praying and meditating the past half hour, so I feel a little more calm.

I said to hubby it will be a miracle if she doesn't die. He said, We have had miracles this year.
The poor man who hit her was devastated. He was sure she was dead. He came to the door to get me and as we walked down the driveway, he was about to cry. We got down there and she was gone. He said there was no way--he hit her hard and square...he and his brother looked high and low for the little runner...I finally sent them home and said I was so sorry this happened to him, and thank you for helping me look. I would keep looking and they could go. I told them the story about bringing her home from the spaying and how she took off and was gone for 4 hours.
I had a flannel sheet I had brought out of the house to wrap her in...and I was carrying it back into the house when something made me stop and turn. I stooped down and sure enough, she was huddled under hubby's truck. It took me nearly an hour to figure out how to get her's a little S-10, about 10 inches off the ground. I got a broken down cardboard box and crawled under the truck and wrapped the sheet around her. Then I started sliding the cardboard under her back haunches. When I had it about halfway under her, I started slowly pulling her out from under the truck Pulling the flannel sheet and the cardboard...and using the cardboard like a backboard, I got her out of the frigid cold and into the house. (It never got past 10 degreesF today, and I don't even know what the wind chill was.)

She has taken some water, and she's bleeding here and there from rock punctures and stuff, nothing big that I can see., But she can't stand up. I don't know if maybe her hips are broken or her pelvis maybe. She's sleeping mostly and whimpering a little. But she's responding and her eyes look clearer.

I am heartbroken...she is such a sweet little thing and I hate that it happened to her. And that she's hurting. And that I can't do anything to change it.

I am asking for prayer s for my little Caylee. And for me, for acceptance of the outcome.

Thanks for letting me talk....

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wednesday's child is full

[Garden Gnome, among the green beans and zinnias]

Hope that title sounds as funny to you as it feels to me.

Oh, well.

It is cold as the dickens out there and there is a severe weather advisory out because of the temps. They are closing the schools tomorrow and everything. I am just blessed to have my furnace fixed and a warm house to hole up in. My doggies just went out to go potty and 10 to 1 they don't stay out there any longer than necessary. Wait--there it is. I heard the Jack Russell Terrorist bark her nightime squeak-bark at the door. (Quietly, as not to wake daddy). *grin Be right back....

Tomorrow I'm going to make a big pot of French Onion Soup, and some rosemary garlic bread to go with it. It will be a good day for soup making, I suspect. And every day is a good day for the intoxicating smell of yeast bread with garlic in it. I make an excellent vegetarian version of the soup that is to die for. It will be the first recipe on my new blog. Hopefully accompanied by pictures.

I feel like I need some hot tea tonight. I still have to make hubby's breakfast and lunch, so I'll put the blue enamel tea kettle on and get those things done while I wait for the kettle to boil. I have a grand selection of teas...from my homegrown peppermint and spearmint to Lapsong Souschong to Rooiboos to Irish Breakfast Tea to chamomile. And some others too. Greens and whites and black teas. I even have several Yogi Teas that are for particular reasons, like Detox Tea and a women's hormonal balance and throat coat and a tea that is a coffee substitute. And after tea, I'll go to bed. I'm tired, having been up since 5, and I really didn't mean to stay up this late...

I am flinging prayers about the Universe for whomever needs them. That all of the people on the planet have some peace in their lives, and full stomachs, and a pillow to lie their heads on and someone to love them all up. For good health and dry quarters, for sweet dreams and loving hearts. For a sense of purpose and usefulness and the sense to go slowly and appreciate the world around us.

And that, as they say, is the end of the story.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Terrific Tuesday

Holey longjohns!!! It's freezing cold out there. 11 degrees and falling. Yikes. The animals can barely stay out long enough to scare me,lol.

I had an interesting day...the furnace quit working and I had to call 6 different places to find ONE who could come fix it, and he can't come til 8 AM tomorrow. Lucky for us, we're always prepared for emergencies. It's part of life in the country. We are managing to keep the temps in the house right around 67, which is perfectly warm enough. Especially at night when it's time for bed anyway. The bird's cage is double covered for insulation and all the critters are snuggled up in groups of 2 and 3 around the house.

Makes me think of (here we go) the band 3 Dog Night...from back in the olden days. *wink Apparently that phrase comes from Alaska, where you can judge the coldness of the night by how many dogs it takes in your bed to keep you warm enough to survive. A 3 dog night is a pretty frigid one, I suspect. We got to the point we had to close out bedroom door because there wasn't enough room for US in the bed. When we had the Little Blind Dog Sophie, she always slept with us. Then we only had 2 cats also, and they'd sleep on top of us too. Now it's way too crazy...

I'm loving sobriety and the life I lead these days. I'm loving winter cold snaps that make me stay home and whittle my schedule down to nothing. I love being able to stay home and make big pots of soups and stews and make bread if I want to, and yummy desserts too. Spending time on the computer. Reading. Writing. Making and getting phone calls. Sitting for half an hour with a cat in my lap and a dog at my feet. While it's true that my arthritis gets pretty bad in the cold, I can nurture my soul and my body with heating pads and hot teas and silence. No car noises on the road, no people to talk to unless I choose, sometimes not even a radio playing.

Just the music of the spheres, lulling me into an even deeper contentment. Bliss.....


Monday, January 12, 2009


The aforementioned cave...somewhere in Virginia.

I love caves. I've probably been in 10 different caves around the country. They are such a tremnendous mystery, so full of rare and exotic sights. I love especially the way they always tell you not to touch anything, because man doesn't belong down there, and even the sloughing skin cells swirling around are changing the ecosystem as we speak. I LOVE places that we don't belong. Reminds me of being up at Pike's Peak, and the park rangers were telling everyone to be careful where you step, as the balance of natuire that high up in the Rockies is fragile. Telling us how many years it took for the environment to recover when people picked the wildflowers up there. And Yosemite...ah....wonderful and brutal Mother Nature.

A laid back day at home today. I did make a Caribbean pork stew for supper that I served over Jasmine rice. It had chilies and dry mustard and bay leaves and fresh ground pepper and sweet potatoes and onions and garlic and celery in it. And carrots and green beans. And thick juicy chunks of succulent pork sirloin, cooked to the point of melting in your mouth. Yes, were good.

The pups have just come back in and the cats are all accounted for. I guess there's no reason now that I can't go to bed. Got a 10:30 PM call from a sponsee who is working this horrible schedule of doubles 3 and 4 times a week. Mandatory. So, I stay up and let her call's the least I can do. She is starting on her 4th step, (in a very roundabout manner, lol) and trying to fit in life with this crazy schedule. She's only about 3 months sober, and I'm amazed at how well she's holding up. But she has a goal, and she's striving to reach it. Jobs are so hard to come by around these parts, and she is stubbornly taking it all one day at a time. Bravo, little girl!

I'm sure feeling blessed again tonight. And grateful....really, really grateful.


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sunday, Sunday

(Does all black make me look thinner?) lol Spelunking in the Shenandoah Mountains..


Hideeho, campers. (That's one of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite movies. Send in the Clowns, with Jason Robards.)

It was a good day all 'round in these parts, even if it was a little chilly, the sun was shining almost all day. And I went shopping for groceries and to Starbucks for my good stuff coffee beans. And went to my nephew's house and brought my computer home...oh, how I missed her!!!! She's fast as lightning and clean and fixed and it only cost me 65 dollars, becasue I have the best nephew in the world ! I am especially blessed. I bought 2 pounds of coffee and will wrap one up and give it to my grandest sponsee as part of her Xmas present. I bought her a great book and gussied the package up with a little angel wreath. But she gave me a one hour massage !!!!!! Last year she gave me a hand crafted gorgeous cutting board, made locally by a guy who does fine woodworking. It's too beautiful to use !! About 3 different kinds of I haven't seen her since before Xmas, I still have her gift, and decided I'd buy her a pound of beans as well. She loves the coffee at my house. is always a feel good deal. Even if it's just groceries. I got to go by myself and leave hubby at home. It was good.

We're scheduled for crappy weather all week, it looks like. Looks like I'll be staying home and puttering. Yippee!

I had a good evening too. One of my sponsees had a birthday today. We were supposed to go to lunch, just me and her and her mom. Nothing worked out the way it was planned and she was feeling all sad and disappointed. Her mom didn't even tell her Happy Birthday, her kids forgot. too. SO I surprised her at her home group tonight with cupcakes, balloons, flowers, a fancy-schmancy journal from Borders with a fancy schmancy pen to write in it with, and a funny birthday card. It was fun and great to see her light up. We're all just little kids on the inside....

(BTW,it was a good meeting too!)

I had a great talk with a friend of mine in the program yesterday....his sponsor just died too, of an inoperable brain tumor at the age of 45. We were talking about how he still doesn't have a sponsor and just doesn't seem to be able to find anyone that lights him up like B- did. I know the feeling, and it is hard to replace your sponsor when they die unexpectedly. I think it was good for both of us to be able to talk about it out loud...

Well, I need to mosey off towards bed, I guess. Sure is great having a computer back that opens programs and closes and works like it's supposed a reasonable speed. lol The wonders of modern technology....

Be well, and stay in touch.


Saturday, January 10, 2009

A Singular Saturday

Cold cold cold today...don't think the mercury went over 30. It was grey and blustery and I can't remember the sun peeking out at all.
The kind of day where you just eat soup and get in the house and try to not open the door any more than necessary. The kind of day where the dogs go out, and then bark to come right back in. They stay in until they have forgotten just how cold it is out there, and the scenario repeats itself.

I have the silliest case of hiccups that don't want to go away.... it isn't easy to use a keyboard with the hiccups. One makes all sorts of typos and then has to constantly go back and repair the mistakes. It's rather funny except that it's such a pain in the arse.

I have been on the phone a lot tonight...calls from people going through various life on life's terms problems. A big shot of gratitude this stuff gives me...I am so glad that I do not have ex-husband problems, child custody problems, marital problems, mental health issues, housing problems, work related problems, drinking and drugging problems....I sure can see just how good my life is today. This morning in the meeting we read about half of the chapter "There Is A Solution". I remember at one of my first meetings, some guy said to me..."You got a problem. We got a solution." I'm guessing there were at least 50 people there today. This time of year, this kind of economy, --all things that contribute to a swelling of the ranks of Alcoholics Anonymous. Several newcomers, several in their first 3 months...several oldtimers. Lots in between. A good mix.

I'm going to bed soon. Made a lovely garlic cheese potato, oven fried chicken, and baby peas dinner tonight. Have a few dishes to wash up and then I'm snoozing.

We bought me a new memory foam pillow today. Can't wait to sleep on it and see if it helps with this shoulder problem I'm having. Keep your fingers crossed for me!


Friday, January 9, 2009

Full time Friday

Ah, the end of a long good day, and I should have been in bed an hour ago... Had a great lunch with my out-of-town friends and hooked up with a woman that lives about 25 minutes away. Dropped off a donation of 3 big bags of cat litter to the 5A's animal shelter. Got the chicken house cleaned and the eggs gathered and and some mulching done (really just moved leaves around) and generally had a good afternoon. After the big buffet lunch (I ate a lot of sushi and tons of pickled ginger and wasabi) I didn't know if I'd be able to eat any supper or not. I wound up making miso soup ala Annie and salad and some lovely rye crackers with pumpkin seeds in them. They are a crispbread kind of cracker...massive fiber. I had some boullion in the pantry that is a sundried tomato broth that I used, and added fresh ginger, onions, finely shredded cabbage and a bit of celery leaves and a bit of carrot. Stirred the white miso in after it came off the fire. It was really yummy.

I realize how blessed I am to have a husband who, even though he is from Wisconsin, is not your standard meat and potatoes guy like the rest of his family. This guy eats and loves every goofy thing I make. I always kid him that the reason he really fell in love with me when we met was because he had been a vegan for awhile and thought he would never ever get to eat pizza again. I made a homemade (from the crust up) whole grain crust pizza with tons of veggies and soy cheese, which he had never eaten. That was it....hook, line and sinker.

I am blessed and grateful today. I have a lot to thankful for and I know it. There was a time when I didn't have a clue.

If I had one wish for humanity, it would be the gift of gratitude. Maybe if we were all a little more grateful in this world, there wouldn't be so much room for hateful.

I am praying for resolution and Peace in Gaza. It is such a tragedy the lives being lost there.

I am praying for health and prosperity in Africa. There is so much hunger and disease there.

I am praying, most of all, for mindfulness for the rest of us...that we may not just keep walking and averting our gaze from the needs of the world. That we may remember --always-- that what we do to another, we do to ourselves.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Thankful Thursday

Had a great to hear a wonderful young man tell his story at our speaker meeting and share good food with a great bunch of people, and see my friends who arrived exactly on time! The is nothing like meeting up with friends you haven't seen in a while....and tomorrow we will go have a nice long lunch and catch up some more.

We had a moderate turnout, only about 25 people, and so I came home with sloppy joes to go into the freezer. I made enough for 45-50...and some of the folks took some home, so I only had about 2 gallons left, if that much. I can always use it in chili or for more sloppies.

I am beat tonight. I finished 2 loads of laundry and cleaned house and cooked and then set up the meeting and now I'm bushed. Feels like a good productive day. I know that once my head hits the pillow, I'll sleep with no regrets that I didn't get more done. (Not that I ever do, I'm a list maker, and whatever doesn't get done just slides over to the next day's list. It's a fool proof system :)

Tonight, I'm feeling really blessed to be sober and alive and happy. And relatively sane. And content in my life and in love with my husband and even more in love with my friends. I'm blessed to have something to give away today. I'm blessed to know where to go if I need help. I'm blessed to know that I am blessed.

ACIM says that a miracle is a "shift in perception". To be able to look at the world through clear eyes, to be able to love, to not have to drink at all the problems that drinking caused me...these are truly miracles for me. And the truth is that all that happened was a "shift"...for one minute I thought you guys in AA might actually have a solution to my problem. That one minute of suspended egocentricity was enough of a crack to allow a little hope to shine through. And that, my friends, is when my perceptions started to shift. Maybe I could get sober. Maybe this thing could work for me, too. Maybe I wouldn't have to die drunk, way before my time.

One Day At A Time, you said. Act "as if", you said. To thine own self be true, you said. Don't take the first drink, you said. Give it away to keep it, you said. And here I sit, at a keyboard in a house of love, sober and happy and free.

You weren't kidding......


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wonky Wednesday

The snow is falling outside, just lightly dusting the car and driveway. It is such a beautiful thing (as long as you don't have to drive in it!). I grew up around here, back in the days when we had REAL weather. When the snow in winter was constant and would drift so high you couldn't get out the doors of the house. Great times, we'd make popcorn and not have school and make blanket forts in the dining room. It stayed a lot colder a lot longer too. It isn't like that anymore. I can't believe that I have reached that time in my life where I'm saying..."Why, when I was your age...." lol

Had a nice supper of season appropriate vegetables and marinated tofu, served on a bed of thin sliced cabbage sauteed in butter with cracked black pepper, fresh ground. It felt right. I find that to be true with brown rice as well...when I eat it, some part of my cellular composition says "mmmmmmmmm, yea, that's it.' I'm trying to eat a little more macrobiotically, I guess I can call it. Much of the food on the plate came from my garden. It was mostly seasonal. And it was all organic. I should have made a cup of white miso soup to go with it....

Dear husband and I watched the telly after supper a bit and then he was off to bed. He gets up at 5, and is one of those people that require a certain amount of sleep or can barely function. If I went to bed at 9 PM, I'd be up at 2. I don't sleep well for a couple of reasons, and one of my goals this year is to try to get my endocrine system back on track, as I think my thyroid is part of the problem. My hormones are all screwed up as well, as a result of the uterine cancer and hysterectomy some years ago. The alternatives of HRT are not an option for me, but I do need to take supplements and do some other dietary things that would definitely help. I also need to quit talking about it and get to the chiropractor. My back is severely out of alignment, I can tell. When I had my Ubiquitous Event, my pelvis was crushed and my hip broken, and I have been unbalanced ever since. *grin SO I need to get adjustments from time to time. The dumb part is that I get it fixed for awhile and then I feel better and then I wait way too long to go back.

Well, I have some pretty great reasons to be grateful today. Blessed to be sober first, as always, because without that I have nothing. Blessed that I have good friends on their way for a visit, from Akron. They are in Indianapolis now, sleeping over. Blessed that I have a roof overhead, heat and food in my fridge. Blessed to be able to blog...and that includes having a computer and having internet access and being able to read and write.

Blessed to have my furry family asleep at my feet. Blessed to have friends. Blessed to be a child of God...Blessed to know love.


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Annie's Janny B-day, day....

The cyber world is an amazing, my 56th birthday, I received greetings and cards from all over the world....Africa, Australia, Britain, Germany, Scotland, Thailand, Ireland, Canada and the US. WOWZA!! The very IDEA of it, gives me goosebumps.

I was blessed to spend a long lunch with my favorite niece and her mother, my sister-in-law. We laughed and ate and just generally had a wonderful time. I dined on a lovely eggplant dish, SIL had a fettucine alfredo with shrimp, scallops and clams (wonderfully done, I must say). It was a royal feast, topped off with a Creme Brulee. yum....

My puppy is doing amazingly well, I feel so blessed that she wasn't hurt form her ordeal last night. So many things could have happened and didn't. Answered prayers....

My nephew called and we chatted for about half an hour. He is the IT guy..and shares my birthday today. He is this close to getting my computer back to me....

Today is also my friend Wendy's birthday, she lives in Brisbane. It was also the birthday of my late friend Art Panachella, who lived in New Bern, NC. He was originally from Jersey, and I adored him. He was funny and smart and sober a long time. We always joked about what a spiritual giant he was...he topped out at about 5'2 ...but that little package held a gigantic heart, and I will miss him all my days. He nicknamed me Apple Annie, because of a story I'll share at a later date.

Before I got sober , until my nephew was born, I didn't know anybody whose bd was the same as mine. SO, this is pretty cool.

I was born in southern a blizzard, and was delivered by (I am NOT making this up!!) Dr. Jack Frost. (I swear--it's on my birth certificate!!!!) My dad always said it was the worst night of his life...he didn't think they were going to make it to the hospital, the storm was so bad, and they were both so scared. I was the first born child of those two maniacs...5 more followed and I guess it must have gotten

Well, guess I have waxed nostalgic long enough. Time for this bear to go to bed....


Monday, January 5, 2009

Manic Monday

I'm so emotionally exhausted, I'm ready to drop.

Brought the puppy home from the vet, set her down on wobbly legs in the yard to see if she could pee. She did, and then looked at Pat and took off like rocket! We searched high and low, and I was so worried about her that I spent the last hour, from 9-10 PM bawling like a baby. She was MIA for over 4 hours...neighbors were out helping us look...and all I could think was she was so doped up from the surgery that she was probably disoriented and couldn't find her way home. I was also very worried about her running through the woods and brambles and damaging the stitches on her little tummy. One good stick and she could have bled to death. And the temps were dropping at an alarming rate too and it's supposed to snow tonight...I was crying and my poor husband was holding me and I just kept saying , she will die out there tonight...

And of course, that's when she came walking back into the yard. She's a little worse for the wear, but mainly seems fine. No broken stitches, no excessive bleeding.

I am one grateful girl right this minute.

Today was the service for my sponsor too. That may have been some of the tears that fell so easily.

I was thinking (after the fact, of course), about what a blessing it is to have emotions and be able to express them. To feel that much love for anything or anyone. And to have gratitude when things come to a good end.

And to not have to think of drowning my fears (real or imagined) in scotch. To actually have other solutions to the "big deals" in my life.

I am especially blessed tonight. I need to go to bed and get some that I know I can!


Sunday, January 4, 2009

A January Sunday with whipped cream and nuts!

It was a nice Sunday...busy enough to not be boring and time enough to breathe.

I have a busy day tomorrow. Have to take hubby to work and then from there take the youngest dog in to be spayed. I'll come back home and take care of the rest of the animals and then go for a brief stop at the memorial service for my sponsor which is from 4-6, before I have to be back up north (about 45 miles) to pick hubby up from work at 5:30 and then on to pick up the dog and bring her home. It's just the way it's working out, and there's no other way I can manage it.

I really hate having to take the pup to the vet and then leave her there all day. I hate that she has to have surgery, many things can go wrong. I'm not a worry wart, really, and I'll put her in God's hands and pray for the vet. But I still don't like it. And almost as much as that is that she's already walking around tonight looking for something to eat, and she can't have anything, even water past midnight. I've already picked up the bowls...the other dogs are cool with it, as they've already eaten this evening. But little Caylee is a night-time eater. And she expected a cookie when she came in from her evening constitutional...and didn't get it.

Today I was blessed with time with my dear husband, a lovely meal of sushi and maki, some warm temps for most of the day (around dusk, it started getting really cold, wind came up--ugly!), and a sober community where I fit.

Have started making plans for the 3rd sober gathering at my house this summer. It's people from a sober site I belong to and people from my community and whoever else I decide to invite. lol Last year was a little smaller, but in years past there have been as many as 70 people at my house for the big Saturday bbq. Good times, meeting people from all over the world, as well as all over the country. This event is a great blessing in my life, both that I can host it, and that I get to meet Cyber friends f2f.

I am blessed with having some friends coming down from Akron this week. My bb birthday is Tuesday, and they'll take me out for lunch on Friday. They'll be meeting up with us at the speaker/potluck at the women's group on Thursday. I haven't seen them since last May, so this is a blessing indeed!!!!

Life is good. Sobriety ROCKS !!!!!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

A simple Saturday of those days when you head out into the world a little skewed. My excuse was a bizarre dream that encompassed ipods and gangbangers and bratwurst sandwiches. AND a teenager who cleaned house. A BOY. lol...

Then the coffeemaker kept flipping the circuit breaker off. You of those days.

Then the dear husband went outside, got a ladder, and started cleaning the gutters. All with NO nagging on my part! Surreal....

All in all, a simple day. Stayed home, didn't leave the homestead even for a minute. Had a couple of animal incidents, a dog with a thorny stick stuck between her teeth into the roof of her mouth, and one running little puppy who slid on the hardwood floor and bruised or strained something and is now limping on 3 legs. Most of the time. Sigh....they are both okay.

Watched the fog roll in this afternoon and it reminded me of living on the north coast of California, on Humboldt Bay, where the fog would roll in every day at precisely 4 PM. Looked around my yard and gardens, all resting comfortably. Watched the chickens out scratching in the yard, the dogs sliding through the big piles of leaves that we've put on the garden beds, and our resident hawk, a red tail, soar around looking for supper. Felt especially blessed to be here now, on this little piece of dirt, sober and happy and content.

Trying to learn to live better in the moment, to practice mindfulness, to honor the sacred in everything I see.


Friday, January 2, 2009

Freedom Friday...

Blessings were abundant today. They probably always are, but I choose to not see them otherwise engage the committee in my head in all sorts of egocentric activities.
When I can step outside myself, when I can shift my perception just a tad, I can see the overflowing blessings in life.

Today I was blessed to watch a newcomer have a lightbulb moment, and in the blink of an eye, become willing to go to any lengths to live a new way. Today I was blessed to be in a meeting where all the people at my end of the table must have taken their sillypills before leaving the house this morning. We were giggling and acting silly and laughing out loud and almost disrupting the meeting. AND IT FELT SO GOOD... the newbie said, I haven't laughed this much since I quit drinking. Breathless, wheezy, pee your pants, kind of laughing. And I thought, Ah...this is it. This is Happy, Joyous and Free !!! It's an amazing thing, the way laughter changes a person's demeanor. The crinkly eyes, the red cheeks, the breathless paryoxsms that make you laugh even more. The snorting, the hiccuping, the things that you can't control. And today, I am free to be silly. I don't have to police my every word or action, afraid of doing the wrong thing and having the wrong person see it. I can laugh, and feel the joy welling up in my soul and spilling out of my mouth and eyes.

This is good stuff. Exhausting, but good to know that we "...are not a glum lot. We absolutely insist on enjoying life."

May you enjoy your life until water leaks ut of all your orifices.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Thursday, Thursday

Blessings abound on this first day of the new year. I woke up and proceeded through more than half the day, working on the assumption that it was Saturday. Imagine my surprise! It didn't matter that Saturday could never follow Wednesday. I had completely suspended logic and reality for a bit there. lol Of course, I was in Home Depot part of that time, so that might account for something.

I bought a newer (newer than mine) computer from a guy on Craig's list for a mere pittance. He was getting rid of this one because Santa had brought him a new system. It's a Hewlett-Packard with gonzo memory and a bigger badder hard drive, and a new sound card...all upgraded by him recently. He said he had gotten several calls after he listed it, and most of them wanted to strip it down and sell it for parts. He wanted to bless someone who could really use it. So my blessings started early this morning....

Beginning, of course, with no hangover from too much New Year's Eve. No angry words with my dear husband. No splitting headache or shame or guilt. Just woke up glad to be alive and happy.

I have to get up early to take the dear one to work so that I can keep the car and go get a sponsee and spend the day doing AA related things. And I am really bushed.

Blessed to have a warm bed and a loving husband and good sober friends. Blessed to be able to be connected to the internet and meet all these great people. Blessed to be blessed.

That's my story...and I'm sticking to it.

Happy New Year, y'all....