Friday, January 23, 2009

A Fitful Friday...

It's been a long day the doctor early, they made me wait,wait,wait. And I was hurting, and I'm not ever my best self under those conditions. So I got lots of opportunities for growth, today.

I'm blessed to be a sober woman, I know. I really knew it this afternoon when I was sideswiped in the parking lot of the Walmart by a drunken woman on foot. She nearly mowed me down as I was walking to the store, and then she screamed at me as she went by. And I saw me about 20 years ago...everybody IN MY WAY. Me, hating the world. The stench of old booze and sweat following me like a little cloud. The impotence and the hopelessness and the fury. Honestly, it was a little too close for comfort.

When I was a year or two sober, I went to a morning meeting that was down by the fishing docks in the coastal town I lived in. It was one of those real, in your face, kind of meetings. And it never failed that once I sat down, some homeless guy would saunter in, grab a handfull of donuts and some free coffee and park himself right next to me. And sometimes the stench would make me gag. Lots of winos and whiskey drunks there. And sometimes they would never make eye contact with anybody and sometimes they would chatter nonsensically through the entire meeting. And sometimes they were really starving and sometimes they were reeking of booze and urine. And I would always think...There but for the grace of God go I. I always thought noone could tell how much I drank or when I'd been drinking. And these lessons would be right in front of me every time. And I knew how lucky I was, how blessed I was to get a chance to live my life sober. I will never forget that place or those people or the important lessons I learned there.

So here's to Sobriety, with all it's pitfalls and bonuses and opportunities.
May we all keep hold of the brass ring.



Pam said...

It's like we have two separate lives, don't you think?
We are so blessed with a new way.

Akannie said...

Indeed it is, Pammiepie...indeed we are.