Thursday, January 22, 2009

A melding of days...

[The stove and coffeepot in Dr. Bob's Kitchen~~ Akron, Ohio.]

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Trying to stay really really grateful this morning...could barely walk by yesterday evening. Couldn't get in to see the chiropractor until tomorrow morning...and I couldn't sittin the chair to type by about 10. SO, off to bed I went...heating pad in hand, Tylenol PM in me and fitfully slept through the night. I was out and about yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks and was really tired by the time the sun went down. I'm sure that didn't help. Not feeling too much better today,I'm afraid. Though at around 10 I can put some lidocaine pain patches on and that will take the edge off it so that I can at least function and get things donme I need to do. Tonight at the women's meeting one of my sponsees is getting her 4 year coin. So, I have a cake to bake and a card to make as well. Then on Friday I am picking up grandson from school and he will spend the night. So it will be a fun weekend (I hope). I haven't hurt this bad for this long in awhile.


The weather has hit a warming streak, and I am sure grateful for that. It was 40 yesterday. It's supposed to 46 today. But then it's taking a wintertime dive again, back down to the high 20's. But honestly, that even feels warm compared to those zero temps we had!


I am grateful to be able to look at the brighter side of things. When I drank, I was such a pessissimist (on the inside). I worked in restraunts much of my life, and when you work in the hospitality business, you are expected to act "AS IF" all the time. Because nobody cares about how YOU feel. They only care that their dining experience is a good one and it's your job to make sure of it. When I came into the rooms of AA, and heard people talking about "acting as if" I knew exactly what they were talking about. That part was easy for me, lol. But on the inside, more often than not, I was boiling with negativity. I don't know when I started always seeing the glass as half empty...early on I don't think it was like that. But events and situations that I got myself into, bad choices and mistakes I made, these things twisted and perverted my personality into what I became by the end of my drinking career. And I do know, I never want to live with that girl again...


I wanted to write a little since I missed last night. And I will be back again tonight, probably...full of the hope and pleasure and joy of watching someone pick up a coin for staying sober, one day at a time, no matter what.


Life is good.



Namaste.

1 comment:

paxaa said...

I am so sorry you are hurting so bad.

Love

Andrew.