Thursday, February 25, 2016

The time of new beginnings...

  CRazy crazy weather...last night when I put the dogs out the last time before  heading for bed, it was still almost 40 degrees. It had reached a high of nearly 60. At 3:30 (apparently) it started snowing and by 8 AM we had upwards of 6 inches. It was a heavy wet snow and the Irishman and the boyo could not get out to go to work. (they tried). lol By 3 PM the roads had all melted off , as well as the driveway and sidewalks where they had shovelled. It stayed in the 40's and rainy all day  and there's still a little snow in the grass but that's about it.  Only supposed to get to 19 Friday and then the temps start climbing again. Sigh...

 I am up at 3 AM, unable to sleep or lie quietly so I had to leave the bedroom.

  Got the knee replacement done on the 17th and it went without a hitch. Mostly.  lol  No blood clot issues anyway. GUess the knee was  crooked and they had to practically alligator-wrestle that bad boy out of there after they sawed the bone. So my thigh and calf are very bruised and black and blue Quite the sight to see. Recovery is going well...had surgery on Wednesday and left the hospital on Friday.Going in tomorrow for a post op check up that is usually dome at 2 weeks but it will only be 1. Not sure if he'll take the stitches out or not, but I am having home health  and PT both in so maybe the nurse can take them out as he has shuffled the post op appointments due to a "conferences curriculum" or something silly.  lol I just took a couple of more pain pills, so will be heading back to bed shortly. My friend Kat is driving me to the appointment tomorrow. We have to leave around noon for the 2:30 appt. We'll have lunch after..I'm ready to get out of the house.  lol

  My beloved sister surrendered in her battle with cancer on February 12th.   She was a courageous woman and there is a gaping hole in the heart of my family. Because it was so close to my surgical date the drs didn't want me attending any big gatherings because of viral infection risk--the last thing I needed was a bug that could turn into pneumonia during the sedentary recuperation period after one of these things.. so I did not get to attend the memorial service.  We are slowly getting our lives back in order, and as these things always are, it is up one day and down the next.  Like any family that suffers these dreadful events, we are exhausted, ragged and leaning on each other to get by.  Her children are crazy brave and hurt and devastated.  No matter what, you are never ready for these things...even when you know they are coming.

  I wanted to post because I have been MIA for a few weeks and this short month is slipping away quickly.  I am blessed to have friends who are helping out here and bringing food and offering rides and such-- not that I have been out yet. But as time ekes on I feel better and am healing and will soon be up and running full speed ahead!  The farm store flyer came out with the sales beginning on seed potatoes and onion sets and the baby chicks are in the stores. lol  Spring is coming and before you know it, we'll all be up to our knees in garden work. I am so ready...this has been a rough year.  I am ready for the new start that spring will bring.  The pantry is beginning to look a little bare, the lilies are starting to pop through the snow and the promise of a new beginning is in the buds of the fruit trees.  

  Time for me and walker to head back to the other end of the house.  lol  Stay tuned for the saga of old Annie and her new knees... the upcoming conference...gardens and canning and more.,


Tuesday, February 9, 2016

An old woman with no regrets

 Check out those shoes.  I was a fashionista even in 1953.  lol

  Someone in my family posts lots of old pictures on Facebook and I'm always muttering under my breath to not post any of me from about age 9 til..oh, NOW.  I dislike having my picture taken. I am not a really good looking woman and maybe I never was, but there are some times I was even ridiculous looking. I am not photogenic. I run from cameras. lol This picture though, I can live with. I thought that maybe to set it all to rest, I should just pick out the maybe  5 pictures in my whole life that I can live with and splash across a page somewhere. The problem with that, naturally, is that I am just old enough that most of those pictures are not digital, but yellowed pieces of developed film.  I could still take pictures of the pictures (and I have done that a few times) but it seems like an awful lot of work. So here is little Annie at the happy and tender age of 10 months. Before any other siblings came along. I was an only child, and it was GOOD. My parents were thrilled to be parents, since my mother had been told she would never have children. (They were wrong).  I was loved and exhibited and praised and told that I could do or be anything I wanted to be. Life was good.  And then a second child came 2 years later. And then another and another and another. And then one more. And my idyllic world came to an end. Oh well.  Isn't that the way of it ?   lol


 Fast forward 20 years. About 1974. Me, as usual, in the kitchen. This was a big old OLD farmhouse--one of the best places I have ever lived in so many ways. Living on a wing and a you can do when you're young.

Again...later in 1974

About 1978 I think...look how fast my hair grows (grew) lol

 Another 20 year jump through time and space and I am 40.  Sober. In love with this Irish guy I met.  Part of all that bulk is a big sweatshirt. But some of it is me. Post menopause, sober and eating, and content. The perfect recipe for 35 pounds. lol

 2014.  With my beloved sis, who was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer right before this picture. Not the best picture of me (again) but a lot of love right there.

Around the same time. Me with the infamous broken wrist. lol And my pal Micki

And last (but certainly not least) my  knee last September. Let's hear it for spare parts...  Edited to add (how could I have forgotten this ??)-- The knee surgery is set to happen a week from tomorrow. The 17th. That's assuming I can pass the pre-op physical. (Pretty sure about that). WOO HOO !!!!!!

  Lordy. What an exercise in ego drive !!  Or something. It's interesting looking back at life...and knowing that I am destined to be an old woman with no regrets. And it really makes me think of all the pictures I have lost...although some are still on hard drives of a couple of old computer towers I have sitting in the closet.  Someday...someday ...


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Spring in winter...

  The weather around these parts of the prairie has been so odd. We meandered out of January with temps up to 70 on a couple of days. We have started off  February with temps in the 60's. Today it is grey and rainy and peaceful. And warm. Way too warm for February. Strange stuff...supposed to have a little cold spell and then warm back up into the 50's. Mother Nature is being a bit petulant.  The good news is the chickens are still laying full force, mostly, and the bad news is that the trees are starting to bud. If a big freeze comes back it will wreak havoc. But...nature will have it's way and there's not much we can do about it. Except maybe to learn to roll with the punches...

 Not much to report on this end.  The world rolls along as is it's way..times change and people come and go. My sister-in-law is still hanging in there.  The cancer that ravages her brain circles around and around. She is losing her cognitive skills and her muscle activity.  No word yet on my surgery scheduling. la la la la la...

 Was reading something this morning about a young doctor who left the profession because he aid he couldn't bear watching people being made poorer and sicker by the commonly used medical treatments.  So now he is a permaculture farmer and works in a free clinic giving medical care. Wouldn't it be a grand thing if that happened more often ?  Think of how it would feel to live in a society where people followed their consciences and had the integrity to stand up to the money changers ?  I heard last night on NPR that several big cancer medications are coming to the end of their patents and the result will be a BIG decrease in cost of these drugs. Like 30% (is that big??)  So now the particular drug they were talking about will only be 180.00  A PILL.   ONE PILL.   It made me want to scream.  It made me want to rise up and cry out to the profiteering makers of these things, and to the doctors who prescribe them. It made me want to...

 ...plant an organic garden. Keep drinking pure spring water.  Pay attention to what I put in and on my body and where I live and watch the stress and do whatever in the hell else I can to be healthy.  And maybe I need another dog. A puppy. And start writing again and doing some more creative artsy things. And praying more. And loving more.  And doing whatever I can, wherever I can and whenever I can to make this world a safer better place.  What was it Mother Teresa said ?  Not all of us can do great things,  but all of us can do small things with great love.  So my goal for the new year is to do all the small things I can. And to love more and judge less. And to listen more and talk less. And to share whatever I can with whomever might need it.

 Like most people probably, I know what I should do. I know that the thing that stops me often is inconvenience or fear or indifference. I don't want to be that person who is afraid of not having enough for myself so I don't share what I have. I don't want to be that person who looks the other way when others are being mistreated or hurt. I don't want a life in which I feel inconvenienced by someone in my path .   

  I want abundance. I want prosperity. I want to share this world with everyone in it. And be secure in my place too. I want the sick cared for, in a compassionate and reasonable manner. I want the hungry to be fed. I want children and adults alike to know love. And security. And peace.