Softly and serenely Sunday...

I know that means different things to different people. For me, being at home, listening to the chicks in the next room (they're getting big and rowdy--time to go outside soon!!), sitting in my quickly vacuumed house, smelling the granola toasting in the oven, and waiting for my husband to get here with my sister. I have hamburger buns raising in the kitchen, and we're going to have grilled garden burgers and grilled whole ear corn and some fresh asparagus today.  It's quiet and I have some lovely instrumental music playing. I have some leftover German chocolate cake for dessert, so nothing to do in that department. lol

    I realize more and more every day, to be thankful in a big way for all the little things in my life that make it so worthwhile, so full of love, so bearable (even when things aren't going the easy way).  Maybe  especially when things aren't going the easy way.  Life is always about the little things...I read a quote once that said Not everybody can do great things, but EVERYBODY can do small things with great love.  And so I try to do all the small things I can do, and do them from my heart.

  I have one big dark purple flower on my clematis at the corner of the front porch.  I treasure that one first bloom more than I ever do when it's loaded with flowers, for some reason.  The first spring peepers, the first time when I learn something new,  the first snowfall...all marking transitions into the next phase of the seasons or my life or whatever. Something special about those times, and sometimes makes me forget about the magick and beauty of all the other things that are always with me on a daily basis.

  Yesterday I met someone special. I think. In my gut, I know.  You know how it is when you are listening and hear that twing of a connection and can't wait to get next to that person. To talk and to listen and to know them. It was like that. We exchanged phone numbers and we shall see if a friendship grows from this encounter.  Even if it doesn't, I am glad to have made her acquaintance.  At my age, it seems like there aren't a lot of new friends out there to be made, though that even sounds silly as I type it. But--it feels that way sometimes...

  ...well, it's about 5 hours later than when I started this. More than that, maybe. My sister has come and gone and we had a nice dinner and a nice visit. Her husband came and got her to take her home, so I didn't have to drive down there after all. Nice...a whole day of staying home. I did a little cleaning but not too much. made a nice batch of granola and a gorgeous bunch of hamburger buns.  Seriously, if you ever make these things, you'll be hooked and you'll never buy store buns again. I don't think I'll do the veggie burgers on the grill again though...it was almost too much. But the corn was awesome as usual and the asparagus was a treat as well.

   I'm feeling the need for some popcorn...and maybe watch a little tv if I can find something on worth watching. Reading a Patricia Cornwell book right now, Black Notice...one that seemed to have gotten past me, as I've read a great many of her books. Not the one about Jack the Ripper though--somehow that doesn't interest me at all. lol  I'm about halfway through it, so if there's nothing on tv, I'll just read.  I picked up 3 more books at a yard sale over the weekend too...so I'm [pretty stocked up with things to pass the time. lol

  Hope everyone's weekend was good and that you'll be looking forward to the first Monday of the week with a glad heart.  I have a couple of things that have been being shuffled from list to list for a few days that I absolutely HAVE to accomplish tomorrow...so my plan is pretty much made.

  Blessings and love

  Namaste.

In the still of the night...

 Every chance to touch another life,  every chance to be the bigger person, every chance to say the kind word, every chance to not pass on the gossip, every chance to feed the hungry, every chance to house the homeless, every chance to comfort the inconsolable,  every chance to guide the lost, every chance to love the unlovable, every chance to help the helpless, every chance to stand tall and be proud, every chance to lie still and be quiet, every chance to make someone smile, every chance to be the best person you can be, every day.

  Because you just never, ever know....

************************

  My friend Roger died today.  For him, this part of the journey is finished and I have high hopes that he will continue onward, ever onward.  I am sad, yet relieved, and the paradox coupled with the fact that he violently died at his own hand causes me great conflict. In my meditations this morning, I got to think about the illusions of this life and the emotional charges we attach to these illusions. In The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, it clearly states that "...when we are faced at death with the FACT that our body is an illusion, we will be able to recognize its illusory nature without fear, to calmly free ourselves from all attachment to it, and to leave it behind willingly, even gratefully and joyfully, knowing it now for what it is. In fact, you could say, we will be able really and completely, to die when we die, and so achieve ultimate freedom."

  And so, this is what I wish for my friend, to achieve the ultimate freedom in death. And wish him a continuing journey of peace.

******************************

   It has been an interesting day. Taking it slow(er) and easier, I put a small pork roast into the crock pot this morning and spent the rest of the day doing small things and napping.  I didn't accomplish much, besides 2 enlightening phone conversations I had with two separate women. I don't feel up to snuff still and think I will take the rest of the week to recuperate as much as I possibly can. I walked outside a time or two, but not for long, as I have to avoid sunlight because of the antibiotic. I fed my chickens and gathered eggs later in the day. I walked down to the mailbox. It was a ridiculously warm day, apparently we broke a 120 year record with temps of 69 degrees.  They think it will be over 70 tomorrow. Last nights supper included braised kale from the garden, tonight I steamed broccoli crowns. I'm trying to include more alkaline foods every day. We already eat a lot of greens anyway...it feels like spring, and for the first time in 7 years of living here, I had a January electric bill of UNDER 200 dollars !!!!  I turned off the furnace and opened windows today for a short while (I was dressed in sweats) and turned on the ceiling fans to try and blow out some of the cooties that I am sure are swirling around in the air from my coughing.  lol  It was only for a couple of hours, and when the house temperature reached 65, I closed all the windows.  It felt so good to breathe fresh clean air.

****************************

  I should go to bed. It's closing in on midnight and I'm tired enough.  The dogs have all been out twice, the cats are in (mostly) and the leftovers are put away. I haven't done the dishes and I really don't want to...think I'll wait until morning. There's not that many....

  Thank you all for your kind words yesterday, I feel loved and supported by your prayers and kindnesses.

   May we all be especially blessed....

  Namaste.

It's officially Merry Christmas

 Froeliche Weinachten.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   It's closing in on 1 AM and I am getting ready to go to bed. All the Christmas shopping, the wrapping, the making of goodie baskets, the signing of cards....all done.

  We had a lovely gathering of friends at the house on Friday night, and it was GOOD.  The soup was just right, the cookies were laid out in all their glory and the hot spiced cider filled the house with the dazzling aroma of cinnamon and cloves. There were 14 people and 4 dogs and only one small mishap.  lol  Old connections were strengthened, new ones were forged and all in all it was a rousing success.  The house was clean enough and the candlelight  and minimal Christmas decorations were perfect. I put together a snack tray of cream cheese and jalapeno and sweet red pepper jellies and everyone was knocked out by it. 4 people went home with jars of the jalapeno jelly.

 By the time it was all over, I felt happily beaten to death. lol  And while I sat on my big ole white butt, my husband and his brother cleaned up the last of the dishes that my 2 good friends didn't get done.  I could hear the boys in there, laughing and telling stories and I stuck my head in to ask if they were having flashbacks of their childhoods. My BIL said--No, he hasn't punched me yet. And they dissolved in laughter.

  I am so happy that my husbands brother was able to come down and spend this holiday with us...to see them together like this is heart warming, to say the least. The look in my man's eyes says it all.

  We have a 9 AM breakfast date at my son's house and then we'll take a nice walk somewhere before coming home to spend the rest of the day together. I'm baking a ham, and a turkey breast, and all the accoutrements.  I've invited my neighbors over if they want to come...they will be leaving on Monday to meet up with their grown children up in Wisconsin, so will be home alone for the Christmas Day, unless they have plans with some of their church family.  I emailed them tonight and haven't heard back...otherwise it will be just the 3 of us here for the feast.  Whatever happens will be exactly right.

  I am sitting here feeling especially blessed...to have friends and family, to have cyber friends that mean so much to me.  This blog means the world to me and the rich contacts I have made here are an absolute and complete blessing.  I got an email from Mama Pea telling me I won the Christmas Cookbook giveaway and I am tickled pink. Thanks!!!  I come here and read about your lives and your trials and your joys and am reminded once more just how connected we all are and how interdependent life is. I learn from you and maybe I even teach you from time to time. I am touched by the beauty of all of our lives and the small blessings that we share with one another. I am overcome with gratitude tonight and I wanted to take a minute to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart for being such an important part of my every day life. Thank you for sharing your life with me...your strengths and your weaknesses, your fortitude in the face of adversity and your pure true hearts.  You make me want to be a better person...you make me laugh and you make me cry and most of all, you make me write from my heart too.

  Merry Christmas to each and every one of you....may all the blessings of this world be yours.

Namaste.

A beautiful Saturday...

  Today I woke up to a brilliantly sunny day, a husband kissing me and saying Happy Anniversary, sweetheart, and kittens yowling and howling and wanting their breakfast. Spoiled little buggers...

 On June 10, 1990 I had the last drink of my career. There's always a question of how us crazy alcoholics count these birthdays, but where I got sober, the emphasis was on celebrating the last drink you will ever have to take. And that's the way I do it.  I am grateful to know that I have a life that is possible only because I got willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.  And I continue to live that way and to always remember.  If they had told me to stand on my head on a streetcorner and spit nickels, I would have figured out a way, lol.

  So, today I celebrate 20 years of continuous sobriety.  20 years of doing a few simple things, one day at a time. 20 years of trusting that God has a plan for my life, whether I can see it or not.  20 years of learning to do everything a different way,  from cooking a turkey on Thanksgiving to calling a total stranger and talking about my fears.  From learning how to be honest with myself, to learning how to be honest with you.  From learning how to trust to learning how to be trusted.

  It's been a miraculous journey, for a woman who could not quit drinking on her own. I am grateful and humbled by the whole thing...the people in my family usually just drink until they die. I am the first to break the chain, and find a new way to live.  As a result of that, I have a son with 10 years of sobriety, because he watched his hopeless drunk of a mom find this new life in Alcoholics Anonymous.  And the miracle continues...

  Today we had a small celebration bbq at the home of a friend. Then we watched as friends renewed their wedding vows. Now we are home and settled in for the evening. Tomorrow is another birthday to celebrate, a very kind and wonderful man celebrating 36 years of recovery. Then another bbq at a friends house.  A full weekend here on the Prairie.

  Feeling really blessed tonight...

Namaste.

Sundays Musings

These cranes are beautiful in flight....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a lovely Sunday, and I am nearing the end of it. Got up at a reasonable hour this morning and made Spanish Omelets for breakfast.  The the Irishman and I sat down and went through the garden seeds. We decided to trash the Heirloom seeds we got last year. The germination rates were terrible and the yields even worse.  We decided what we are going to plant this year, and where we are rotating things to. I got a new journal started for the garden, as the one I have been using since my gardens of 2002 is falling apart at the seams.  I just happened to have another one to use. We are indeed going to tear up another piece of the front yard.  Yippee!!  (Less I have to mow). 

Then late morning, we headed out to the backyard. I started clearing out the patch where we will plant edible pea pods and  bell peppers-red, yellow and green, of course!  It's time to get the peas in the ground, as they cannot tolerate the hot weather around these parts. They will be finished by mid-June. I spent the better part of the afternoon cleaning out dead stuff, turning over the earth and raking the clods out of it. Clod-buster, that's me. lol  The Irishman took on the more daunting task of doing the same to the potato beds. We aren't going to mess with the fingerling potatoes this year. We'll plant trusty Red Pontiacs instead. They store better and yield more per plot. We moved the cold frame to a new location at the end of the potato bed, and I'll use it to store garden stuff this summer. I think I will put my seedlings in it as well...they'll germinate better out there than they will anywhere else, I think.  I found 4 dozen peat pots that I bought at an end of the summer sale somewhere. I will start squash, tomatoes and bell peppers in them, and maybe okra.  The green beans will go directly into the dirt, as will peas and the edamame when it arrives.  We're planting cabbages, beets, green beans, peas, bell peppers,  carrots, tomatoes, okra, swiss chard, collards, corn, squash (winter and summer varieties), potatoes, onions,  sweet potatoes, garlic, spinach, lettuce, radishes and cucumbers.

The fruit trees are in bloom and beautiful. The apple and cherry both just burst out in flowers, the peaches have been for awhile. The lily of the valley are coming up and my giant hostas are poking their nubs up through the ground. Spring is definitely here...although in one of my journal entrees from 2005, I wrote that we had a hard freeze on April 30th...have to be so cautious about not jumping the gun on planting.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words after that last post.  I feel much better now, and immediately felt my spirits lift when I read the comments you left.  There are a lot of blessings in my life today too, and each one of you is counted in that.  I guess sometimes a person just has to experience the lows, and then walk on through them back to the mesa. I'm back.  lol

It was close to 80 degrees here today. Beautiful-- and I got a suntan on my arms and legs.  I made sure to wear a broad brimmed hat out there, and I was sweating to beat the band. It really felt good to be active and to feel the sun caressing my face. The birds were singing like crazy and all the critters were out back to help. It was a really nice way to spend a Sunday...just my partner and I doing the things we love, on our property that we love, with the person we love. We cooked some brats and grilled some thick cut potatoes and ate supper outside on the deck. I made some coleslaw to go with it and we feasted.

Time for bed.  Wishing you all the sleep of angels and dreams of the highest order.

Namaste.

Thursday January 14, 2010

Cats are a freaking riot.

They refuse to come when you call them, or even look at you, for that matter. They do whatever they want to, with nary a thought to anyone else. And they are maniacs, once they start "running with joy" as a good friend of mine calls it, they lose their minds and go completely bananas. Over the tables, across the ceiling, up the drapes...they defy gravity and all laws of social order. You HAVE to love them...or you would never let the little monsters into your home. They exhibit serious catitude.

Wanted to share this with you, as I find it hysterical, and oh-so-true.

The Creation Myth


On the first day of creation, God created the Cat.

On the second day, God created Man, to serve the Cat.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth, to serve as potential food for the Cat.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil, so that Man could labor for the good of the Cat.

On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball, so that the Cat might, or might not, play with it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science, to keep the Cat healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God intended to rest, but He had to scoop the litterbox.


And there you have it friends. The truth of life in catdom. Ancient Egyptians once worshipped cats. Cats have never forgotten this.

Tonight, one of our cats put his claws into one of the dogs heads. Right on top. And just held her there and glared at her. It was really funny, except to the dog.


On this note, I am off to bed. Going to visit an old high school friend in the morning and get some sweet potatoes from her (she grows them by the gazillions, apparently). I'm gonna bake a quickie coffee cake or something to take with, and spend a morning chatting and catching up over coffee.



Feeling especially blessed to be looking at my world through a filter of God's love....


Namaste.

Sunday Night/Monday Morning...

Where does the time go?? The older I get the faster it goes...and here it is, the last week of July already. Seems like we were just making plans for the gardens and ordering seeds, waiting for them to show up at the mailbox. Already I am watching the waning of some parts of the garden, and we could sure use a little rain right now.

We dug new potatoes for supper last night...a combination of the Ruby Crescents and the Banana fingerlings...OMG...they practically melt in your mouth. I picked the first of the okra, and some onions and and potatoes and tomatoes and blackberries. I need to get out there and pick cucumbers too. I think I'll have some cucmubers for breakfast, as a matter of fact. A little sea salt sprinkled on top...mmmm.

Living off the land is easy to do in the summer, especially in the summer. I picked 3 peaches yesterday that were the size of softballs. This tree is only 4 years old, so I am right proud of it. We didn't have a lot of peaches this year, as a storm took off most of the flowers. But the ones that are here are gorgeous and I can't wait to bite into one.

It's easy to look around me out here and be thankful for the abundance and prosperity I have in my life. What really amazes me is that it comes in many different forms, and not in the ways that I always used to think of abundance. I don't have much money in the bank. In fact we live pretty much paycheck to paycheck...like a lot of people in this country do these days. Wasn't always like this-but it is now. We have about exactly enough to pay the bills, and God help us if there's any extra emergencies. I have a grocery budget that I try really hard to stick to, and when we have more garden stuff, I buy more dry goods, etc. to stock the pantry with. But I have a beautiful little slice of country out here. It's nothing special, and it has its problems, but it's peaceful and it's a roof over our heads and it's ours. I can sit out in the backyard for hours, just listening to no other sounds than birds singing and dogs barking and roosters crowing. It's a symphony in its own right. I have enough love in my life that I am not unhappy or discontent or alone. I have enough clothes for 3 people (probably) -by some standards- and I have several pairs of shoes that I can wear. I have no running water at the moment, but I do have gallons of spring water in the back room and I do have a pond that I can bring water up for flushing toilets. It's a little primitive (What??WAY primitive, you say??) lol but it's not life and death. My loved ones are all relatively healthy and happy and unafraid. I have a program and a fellowship that, if I do my part, insures that I don't have to be a drunk ever again, if I don't want to. I have a car that runs, animals that are fed, and a relationship with my Creator.

All in all, a life of Elegant Blessings.

Namaste.

Seriously...Saturday????

(I've always been one to give my "ALL" for a good cause...)


It was a strange and lovely day today...weird ass July weather in the mid 70's for crying out loud!! We attended a family get together that was just wonderful and came home around 6:30. Stopped at a local produce stand and got 2 glorious large cantaloupes. Both are sweet and meaty and fragrant. Left them in the trunk of the car and when I opened the car to leave, the smell nearly knocked me over.

Got to spend some time with my favorite 6 year old niece and my brother and sister-in-law.

Am dead tired now. Thinking I will stay home tomorrow while my beloved goes to his meeting and I'll plant irises and do a little clean up work out there. I need to make a grocery run as well, sometime tomorrow, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Feeling greatly blessed tonight that I have a loving family. A bunch of cracked pots, certainly, but still... I feel blessed that we can break bread without breaking each others necks. I feel grateful that we're all doing alright, both financially and healthwise. We're not a rich bunch or anything, but we've surely all got everything we need on a daily basis. And we all love each other. My son came today too, with his wife. We had a good time and I got some hugs and kisses from my sonny boy. Every mom is grateful for that!

Feeling glad that tomorrow is another day and that I am loved and able to love...all the people in my life....


Namaste.

Wicked Good Wednesday

Blazer and Merlin...taking a break.

Had an interesting day today and will keep this short and sweet. Kittens had the devil in them, puppies were racing around in high gear most of the day, and I had a frustrating moment or two. But the good news is this:

*Never once thought about drinking
*Felt especially blessed several times throughout the day
*Made a doctors appointment about my knee
*Got to chat with several sober drunks
*Got to help with a 4th step
*Ate some more Good&Plentys :)
*Got to read for awhile this afternoon with my leg propped up on 2 pillows
*Got to be used by God to reunite a mother and her youngest son...even if only for a couple of days



Life is good.


Namaste.

Mild Mannered Monday

I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open...

Didn't sleep last night but for maybe an hour and a half. And then I had weird dreams the whole time. I didn't get a chance to nap this morning after I got back. I cleaned the house, and performed assorted and sundry housewifely duties before getting dressed and heading off to coffee with my friend. Talked to several sponsees, made some plans, and generally bustled off to my "date".

I bought a juicer, got one on sale for 50 bucks. It's a powerful one with a large feed tube and pitcher. I can't wait to fire that baby up in the morning. lol

I have to attend a noon meeting and give a sponsee her 12 year coin. I have to get my nails done. It'll be a little tight...then there's class tomorrow night. I really wanted to go to a speaker meeting and group anniversary bbq potluck, but I guess I can't do it. Man--times like these I HATE not having a second car. I have always had a car, since I was 17. This sucks.

OKay--blessings. Gratitude. sheesh...

Grateful to be sober, as usual. Grateful to have a place to blog and read other people who are travelling the road that I'm on.

ESPECIALLY grateful that the poison ivy is drying up and going away. I am dealing with minimal itching!!

Grateful for friendships.
Grateful for family.

Looking forward to tomorrow.....and going to sleep in my big comfy sleigh bed now!! Blessings are everywhere, when I open my eyes and my heart and just LOOK.


Namaste.

Silly Saturday

[A Smile From God]



Been a busy few days here on the old homestead. Mundane things like planting rhubarb and planting flowers, cleaning house, inventorying pantries...my new glasses came in and I had to go pick them up on Friday Took my vacuum down to the repair place last week. The prognosis may not be good. Trying not to speculate...lol

Today was my brother's 54th birthday, so about 15 of us got together at the Red Robin joint for lunch. We really had a great time. My son and DIL and youngest grandson came, my niece and her brother and his wife and family, SIL, sister and her husband. I found my brother a hat that said "My fishing addiction is not the PROBLEM, it's the cure!" And a T shirt that said "I got a fishing pole for my wife....best trade I ever made"...and a bunch of odds and ends of hooks and lures and fishing stuff. Life is good.

I planted about 75 hen and chicks today and hurt my back again. I am so sick of not being able to do anything without paying a price. I did a little housekeeping and a little cooking and a lot of playing with these demon kittens who like to run up and down my legs when I'm sitting in the computer chair or standing at the sink. I have to wear long pants all the time. My hands and legs are so scratched up it's funny.

I am so blessed today, beyond my wildest dreams. I remember someone saying when I was in early sobriety "If I had gotten everything I wanted when I first got sober, I would have been seriously shortchanged". That's sure the way it has been for me...above and beyond my greatest expectations.

Namaste.

Fabulous Friday

Blessings...of the Elegant Persuasion....


Family
Home
Plenty of Food
Love
Nature
Serenity
Babies
Friends
Living in the Moment
Music
Art
Rainy days
Sunshiney Days




Namaste.

Thankful Thursday

Today was one of those days...gratitude everywhere I look. It started early this morning, listening to my neighbors across the pond fighting and screaming at one another. In all fairness to them, it's difficult to tell by their yelling if they're always fighting or not. It seems to be the way they communicate. But it sure sounded like something I'd just as soon avoid in my own life. He has lost his job of 25 years and they are scared, I know. And they are cutting down every other tree on their property, it seems like. I want to go over and take away their power tools....today they took out a snag that is home to many woodpeckers and other birds. The snag wasn't hurting anybody...husband says the result here is going to be more erosion along the banks of the pond and loss of wildlife habitat. One more example of how man never stops to consider nature...it makes me sad.

I was thinking...how blessed am I to not have that kind of husband ? One who rages and yells and is angry all the time... instead, I have been blessed with this big gentle teddy bear of a guy. One who loves nature and reads poetry to me on picnics, and holds my hand when we are out together. One whose very spirit is about love, most of the time. I don't mean to imply that he is perfect, but he is sure a gift in my life. And he has a big heart and a willing hand to anyone needing help.

Then I had another sponsling come out this morning and we did some 1st step work and chatted and drank coffee. I was blessed. Tonight at the womens meeting we had 6 women with less than 3 months sobriety. The sharing was great and I felt that recovery was alive and well in this little corner of the world. I picked up a newcomer to carry to the meeting, and she has damaged herself to such an extent that I wonder if she can ever fully recover. But I have to have hope that it can happen. More importantly, I have to convince her that it is possible. To offer her all the hope I can m,uster. Even though she has an impressive record of relapse activity, I think this time she might be desperate enough to get this. And I realize all over again, just how blessed I am to have the gift of sobriety. To not have to fight these demons and these obsessions any more. To feel grateful that I can remember how it felt, and to be able to offer someone the truth of my experiences. Feels like holding out a rope to someone caught in quicksand.

The satellite computer is working like a charm. Only once have I experienced any kind of slowness, and that was while it was raining and the cloud cover was very thick. Otherwise....EUREKA !!!!!! lol

Time for me to go to bed. Big day tomorrow, lots to do, and then getting my grandson. Yippee!



Namaste.

Magickal Monday

(left to Right....Frankie, Lily and Caylee...having a winter's afternoon nap)


Home from the Voluntary Simplicity class and watched the last half of Saving Grace. Probably the last time I'll get to watch it, unless I can find it on the computer. lol If all goes well with the satellite installation tomorrow, I'll call and cancel our bundle service of telephone, tv and internet. WooHoo!!!!

It was a frustrating and interesting day today....I seemed to be the electrical appliance Terminator this morning. First, as I was vacuuming, it quit working right. I'm going to have to take it in for repairs. sigh...Then (and this was the worst part)..after cleaning about half of my living room carpet, I had to stop to refill the water tank (for like the 3rd time) and when I put it back in and turned it on it went 'Pfffft! and stopped. My routine when I clean the carpet in the LR is to do all the perimeter stuff first, in about a 3 ft swath, and then do the center of the rug and work my way out. So. I have a rug with a big giant dirty square in the center. Plus, where the cleaner was sitting when it quit, it leaked a whole bunch of water onto the rug. So it looks like Secretariat came in and took the biggest pee of his life. IN 2 places.

Naturally, I have a sponsling coming at 8 AM and the satellite guy at 11. And I nearly blew a gasket. But I called a friend and she talked me down, lol. Arghhhhh....this huosehold cannot live without it's own carpet shampooer. So, I guess that is next on the agenda...otherwise we will be overcome with cat and dog puke, hairball stains, and general dirt from the pond loving, poop rolling doglets.

It's a good life...if you don't look too close and you keep some windows open....

I had the wherewithal to stop and breathe and count some blessings and phone a friend.
In class tonight, we talked about what kind of life you would like to be living...and I got to say, well...I'm doing it.

I'd better post this list of unspoken and apparent blessings before the 'puter kicks off again.

It's ALL good....

NAmaste.

Fri-da-licious-Friday

[A Basket of Cat}

A long day, and I should be heading to bed, as I have to be up early. I am chairing the meeting at 10 Am, so I have to be there by 9 to set up, so I have to get up by 7:30 so that I can make breakfast and get dressed and drive the half hour to get there. Grandson is here spending the night...he fell asleep watching a movie at about 7:45. That means he'll be up at zero dark thirty. And he MUST have scrambled eggs and toast for his breakfast! lol He loves the idea of eating eggs that he carried in from the henhouse.

We had a lovely, though short day. When I picked him up, he said that he was hungry. I got him right off the school bus. He said that his dad is drinking again, and that last night he drank so much he passed out in the floor. When the youngster woke up this morning, he was still there. He said that after his dad passed out last night, he dumped all his beer down the sink and threw away all the cans. I guess he had a hard time getting him to wake up this morning, and he needed to eat a good breakfast because they had to take the ISAT's today. He was afraid he was going to miss school.

I watch this sweet boy and think-dammit! he shouldn't be having to play the punishing parent with this guy. He said his dad gets mad all the time and yells at him when he drinks. And he said he told him that if he didn't quit the drinking, he wasn't going to stay with him anymore. I hate what alcoholism does to our children.

It's been a gorgeous day with temperatures in the low 80's...almost breaking a record set in 1956. Miss Caylee found the pond and has been throwing herself in it all day. I watched her come tearing through the back yard and fling herself into the water with reckless abandon. With a look of total and complete ecstacy on her little dog face. lol We can learn so much from our animal companions.

I have had so many opportunities today to be so filled with gratitude--I love it when I don't have to work too hard to find the beauty in my world. There have been so many things, from a beautiful sunrise, to a gaggle of Canadian geese out on the pond, to the cacophony of frogs down by the springs. From a kind word by a stranger, to the sight of a freaky young man helping his grandmother get out of the car, to the look on my husband's face when we tricked him about something tonight. From the sounds emanating from the new kitty box as the week old babies squirm and vie for the best feeding position, to watching my little dog run at breakneck speed around the house, after I thought she might never walk again. From watching my sick kitty recuperate with the magic of antibiotics, to reading my favorite bloggers and hearing what's going on in their worlds.

Especially blessed by the mundane routines of my life. Especially blessed by friendships near and far. Especially blessed to be here, now.

Namaste.

MoJo Monday

[It's been quite a journey...]

A day that felt like my Mojo was workin'... when everything happened in order and in a timely manner. Nothing was FUBAR. I saw at least 10 bluebirds in my yard today. (Bluebirds are always a good sign). The meanest rooster in the world did not beat me to the door today. The phone rang just enough today, but not too much. I experienced several little glimpses of HOPE through the eyes of others. I got to be of service to my fellows, a steward in my marriage, a caretaker of my home, and a friend. And a big sister. I got to be a mother and I got to be a wife. I got the chance to look in the mirror and want to be me instead of somebody else. I got to talk to a 2 year old who said "I wuv you, Ahnie". I got to watch a puppy who a month ago couldn't walk, race around the yards and house 3 times without stopping, in absolute ecstacy. I got to live in today, and even in the moment a few times.

How blessed am I ??

I made a big pot of vegetable soup, some for the freezer and some to eat. Almost exclusively made with items from my own garden. It is wonderful and nutritional and comforting. That's why I like soup. The old 1-2-3 punch.

I got an appointment with my tax woman for tomorrow at 3:30. That means I get to go to a nooner AND get my taxes done before March 28th.
Yea, ME. I had to get copies of 2 sets of W2s sent to me because I lost them, and the second one arrived today. So now we can see what the damage is.

My friend that had the sailing accident is bumped and bruised, but not broken. I am extrememly grateful. I will see his smiling face in June and may just kiss it to pieces.

I sit here thinking about the blessings in this life that I probably don't deserve. I look into the horizon and think about what I can possibly do each day to even the score a bit more. I love to consider the possibilities...what's the old saying..."Yesterday's history and tomorrow's a mystery..." One Day At A Time is sure a marvelous way to live on this planet.

Thanks for letting me in on the secret....

A Wed-nes-day in Feb-ru-ary

[Beautiful brown ex-large eggs from my Rhode Island Reds]

What a bunch of weird words we have in this fractured and bastardized version of the Queen's English!! lol I do know that Wednesday is a form of Woden's Day from the olde calendar. Still...

It was a busy and productive day today. Had an impromptu meeting with the scorned young (ish) man who started out by screaming at me. I looked at him and said "Excuse me, but I wouldn't scream at ME if I were YOU. It won't get you anywhere." He looked at me shocked. And then yelled, "I'M NOT SCREAMING AT YOU!!!" A guy walked by and said, uh-yea, dude--you are. lol

I saw my poor bone cruncher who is making slow but sure progress on my twisted frame. He just shakes his head sadly and says "I'll see you next week, my little challenge."

I got 2 new tires for my car, and will get the other 2 in a couple of weeks. They are too pricey for me to lay out the money all at once right now. I went to my Indian guy, and he was only able to save me about 40 bucks over what the dealership said. (It occurs to me that I ignorantly said he was Pakistani, which he is not, and which is also a bone of contention with Indians.) At any rate, I cannot believe how much better the car rides with 2 new tires on the front and the better 2 of the 4 old ones on the back. 2/3 of the shaking and shimmying is gone.

It is colder than heck here tonight with a single digit wind chill. Hope it warms up some tomorrow.

I was thinking about how blessed we are in so many ways. I am being constantly updated by friends from Australia on the horrific wildfires and heat wave down there. I have said prayers 'round and 'round for the east side of the continent. It is tragic. I shouldn't complain about some cold...I'm thinking these are opportunities to embrace the fact that I have plenty of long johns and heat in my house. I was thinking, as I watched a young couple in the tire place, begging him to find them at least one used tire, becasue the steel belt was showing on their little car and they could not afford more than 45 dollars for that tire. The girl was biting her lip about to cry, as she jiggled a baby on her hip. The baby was fussy, and they were all thin. I'm blessed to have the money to buy at least 2 tires when I need them and know that I can get the other 2 next month. I'm blessed to have enough food in my pantry that I can share with a friend who is going through a hard time. I told her to come with a bag and we'll stock her little pantry a ways. I have food in my freezer and I have canned goods (both home canned and store bought) and I have rice and beans and oatmeal and more than enough to keep from starving. I keep thinking that I need to start canning some meats, like chicken and pork, just to have some jars of canned stuff on the shelf that doesn't need refrigerating. The next time I find a great sale on chicken, I think I'll start with that. The local stores often have the 10 # bags of leg and thigh quarters for as lowq as 49 cents a pound. It's all dark meat, but that's okay with me--it's the most flavorful anyway! And that canned chicken could be used for pot pies, for soups, for chicken and dumplings, chicken salad...you name it. Same with the cooked pork. I find pork roasts for very reasonable prices and use it for Carnitas, burritos, and any number of Jamaican stews. It would be very convenient to have some already cooked on the shelf. And both of those, because they are pressure canned, would be very tender and flavorful. I should get on that. *wink

Well, I am blessed. And I am grateful. And grattiude is a gift I choose every day. Try it. You might be amazed before you are halfway through....

Namaste.

Saturday Swamp

[A young Leonardo de Catrio-LOOK at those eyes!! No wonder he's a star!]
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It's been a long day of getting ready for company and they arrived safely and everyone is now firmly ensconced in their beds. I'm the only one awake. We had a nice dinner of pot roast with carrots and onions and potatoes and gravy. I even got the peach cobbler made, but we didn't eat any. Everyone was too full. lol

I feeling really grateful for the blogging recovery community tonight. This is always a bright spot in the day for me, settling back in my chair to read the blogs that I read and seeing what's up with youse guys at the end of the day. I always get a laugh and sometimes a tear, but always a sense that I have had ever since I first darkened the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous, that sense that I never have to be alone again. That I can reach out a hand, or a word in a blog, and immediately be in touch with someone who I have let get to know me, even just a little. It's the most comforting place to be, if you ask me, because at the end of my drinking I was isolated and alone and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Not so today.

My inlaws and I were talking and I was telling them how I start many days a the computer chatting with a friend of mine from Australia. I'm getting going and she's winding down. I was telling them about the plans for the upcoming 3rdAnnual Gathering on the Prairie, and how people have rsvp'd already from about 10 different states. And how I can't wait. They were not too surprised about it, as my sister-in-law came last year for the first time and met lots of these friends of mine, and she couldn't stop talking about how much fun she had. And to think that I have found all these people inside this little black and silver box that sits on my desk! LOL And that I am finding more all the time. It's a miracle, that's all.

I'm feeling really grateful because today a friend of mne was in an accident on his motorcycle on the way to a meeting, and although his bike was trashed, he only hurt his leg, and is going to make a full recovery.
I'm feeling really grateful because some friends of mine that appeared to be heading toward divorce have reconciled, and it looks like their home is not going to be torn apart. Which is especially good for their 8 year old.
I'm feeling especially blessed that (so far) we have had a very nice visit with hubby's parents, and there was only one time I had to turn my back and pretend to be obsessed with pie crust, and it passed quickly. lol
Thank you, all of you, for sharing your lives with me and allowing me to visit this act of writing and all the wonderment that goes with it.


Namaste.

Thursday at the races...

[My little darling, Leo de Catrio]



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It has been some kind of a day today...from the beginning to the (almost) end. I woke up this morning thinking about a couple of women I sponsored who have gone AWOL. One I haven't talked to in several weeks and the other 2 it's been a month plus. One is a youngish chronic relapser and the other 2 are older women. As the day wore on, I was contacted by all 3 of them. 1 drank a couple of drinks, but didn't get drunk. Does that mean anything? (lol) 1 is obviously using and told me I didn't make her feel special enough, and this wasn't helping her. (LMAO) and the other is a woman who relapsed after 20+ years, and knows what she needs to be doing, but refuses to do it. SHE called to check on me and see how I was doing. :)



I was talking with a close friend tonight and said, I told them all I'm not that kind of sponsor. I don't chase after people. If you want this--fine. If you don't --fine. What do I care? This isn't for people who need it, it's for people who want it. If you want it and are willing to do the work, I'll go to hell and back for you. But don't waste my time ...I'm a busy woman. If you don't want to stop drinking, then go drink. Have a ball.



She was laughing her head off.



I told her that that's just the sponsor school I went to. And when I was new, I was 10 pounds of crazy in an 8 pound bag too. But I never for a minute thought somebody else was going to do this for me. And even today, I don't live in that delusion, ever, that maybe it could be different. Because alcohol takes me places I don't want to go. And believe me, NOBODY wants to go there with me. lol



All this made me very grateful. So grateful, in fact, that I signed up on a new-ish site called 365 days of Grace in Small Things. And every day you write 5 things that grace your life, that you are blessed by. I thought it was such a grand idea, I sent it to everyone I know! Just another way to do a daily gratitude list... This is the stuff that changes the world....

All told, it's been a really super day. I was blessed to get some exercise to EXORCISE my cabin-fever demons by walking the babydawg out in the snow around the house a few laps. She was such a delight to watch as she jumped into snow drifts, dug holes in the snow (no doubt looking for snow monsters), and just lookd absolutely ecstatic about being out there with me. Tomorrow we go get the stitches out. The doc wants a look-see, just because the gash was so bad. It has healed nicely. A blessing!

I fixed baked chicken and stuffing with butternut squash and pickled beets from my garden for supper, so the oven running warmed the house up even more while it filled the place with mouth watering aromas. Twice blessed there. We had a relatively healthy supper and filled our tummies. So--thrice blessed!

I'm getting sleepy, so I need to finish up here. We are having supper with the neighbors tomorrow, unless something changes. They are retired and such lovely people...he has hurt his back. He was doing better, but today when I called to see what I could bring, she sounded worried about maybe having to call it off. I said if she did it would be fine, we'll do it another time. (This is the rescheduled one now, lol. But they are in their middle 70's I think at least, and these things happen.)

Wishing each and every one of you a day filled with all the blessings life has to offer:

Live simply
Love deeply
Speak Kindly.
And leave the rest to God.


Namaste.

Tittilating Tuesday.

A day full of the blessings of home and hearth. (Well, mostly.)

It took hubby an hour and fifteen minutes to make the 25 minutes drive home tonight. We have lots of ice and snow and folks are driving slow. We're not as bad off as parts of Missouri, Kentucky and Arkansas...they've declared states of emergency due the ice and power outages. So far, knock wood, we haven't lost power.

I called and cancelled my chiropractor appointment for tomorrow morning at 8 because there's no way I'm leaving my nest. lol

It's about 18 degrees and still snowing, but has slowed down and is supposed to stop any minute now. I have everything tended to and am about ready to go climb into my sleigh bed with the big quilts and warm hubby in it. I swear, the man is like a furnace. lol

I am blessed to have a semblance of sanity in my life today. I am blessed to be able to tell the difference.

I am blessed to have some prayers to say and a Great Spirit to say them to.

I am blessed to be learning some really important lessons these days, about life and love and the world.

I am blessed for all the usual reasons and by all the usual suspects. lol

Sleep beckons....

Namaste.