Monday, September 22, 2008

Monday is the one day...

This is a sculpture from the front of the lodge at Pere Marquette State Park, on the Mississippi River (sort of).

Long day. Lots of emotional storms going on around me, and the worst effect it had on me was when hubby decided to join the parade and I got mad and went for groceries. LOL Big change from the days when I would get mad and change states. Or get a divorce. Or commit murder and mayhem. (Well, not murder exactly, but it lends itself well to the story..)

Had a good meeting at noon, reading Chapter 5. A good crowd too, several newcomers with lots of oldtimers sprinkled in. Sobriety ranges from 2 days to 30 years. THAT keeps the conversation lively. lol Much of the reading was on Step 4...and those damned resentments and such. I got to share a couple of my favorite famous AA lines...."Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die." "Don't believe everything you think." "Feelings are not facts." Most of the newcomers were women, and I believe we may have outnumbered the boys today.

Hubby is angry because I said something, and he heard something else. So he got mad and took off without saying anything--just drove away. That really pisses me off. Then he came back and was acting like a girl and being petulant and pouty, not speaking to me. Then he took off again--walking this time. And so I thought &^%#$%^& !!! I'll just take off too and show you how it feels. So I gets in the car and starts to drive. LMAO. About halfway to the next little town from us, I'm thinking Shit, what am I doing? And start to turn the car around. But then I remember I need puppy chow, so I go into town and the store. And by the time I come back with a frozen pizza, he's already eaten something (this man never feeds himself--I guess he thought I was not coming back). So I go out and throw it in the freezer and storm back in, because by now, I'M mad. The whole thing is ridiculous, like these things always are. He's still not speaking to me, and I'm rather enjoying the silence.

"Just because the monkey's off your back, doesn't mean the circus has left town."

Tonight I'm grateful for a spare room. For running water. For sponslings who are having a terrible day, making mine look insignificant by comparison. For cereal for my supper. (shoulda cooked the damn pizza).

For snips and snails and puppy dog tails. For having the good sense to turn the car around. For knowing that I don't have to get a divorce today because he looked at me wrong. For having a higher power that I can turn my day over to in the snap of a finger. For getting to write a gratitude list every night...just like I suggest my babies do, because this really IS the easier, softer way.

Time to go read a bit before sleep.


An Irish Friend of Bill said...

cool. reminds me of the talk by Amaro called Suffering Comes from Dear Ones A talk given on February 14th, 2008

nice blog! its fun isnt it? plus lots of other nice bloggers out there!

Pam said...

good post today.
it's great to laugh at ourselves!
it's not great when someone is mad at us.

AlkySeltzer said...

That's real sharing! Thanks. I should be able to share like that--no, I'm glad that tonight I don't have that kind of stuff to write about...maybe tomorrow? Ya Never Know.