A Tough Tuesday

Hmmm...good thing I'm flexible. I got next to nothing done today...felt puny all day... Didn't plant the tiger lilies, didn't go to class. sigh... Feeling better this evening, but who knows. It's supposed to rain again Thursday, so I have got to get those flowers in the ground tomorrow.

Feeling grateful that I can arrange my world enough to be ill and take care of myself.

Grateful to be feeling better tonight.

Remembering all the times when I couldn't/wouldn't take care of myself because of work, kids, etc.
Remember that crazy idea I had that I'd be just as sick at home as I would be at work, so I might as well be getting paid.

I was thinking earlier in the evening about something I read in the book Amazing Universe for the class we're taking, it said that the Sioux tradition reminds us, all creatures EXCEPT the human are born knowing how to live in harmony. The human must learn this skill. ..

To let respect for differences gradually replace fear of differences is a challenging task. I was reading a blog I happened onto the other day, and the writer was saying something about one of her small children saying something very derogatory about Obama and how cute she seemed to think it was. And I just think, God, save us! This is how this shite goes on and on and is passed from generation to generation. When does it stop? Don't you want better for your children? Aren't the 40's and 50's OVER yet? Just when I want to think that mankind has begun to evolve, I read something like this and it makes me cry. The face of racism is the ugliest thing I have ever seen. And I have seen a lot of it in my years on the planet. And the thing that kills me about it all is this:
WHAT WE DO TO OTHERS, WE DO TO OURSELVES.

You cannot escape the truth of that. Humankind is connected by DNA and atoms and energy particles. We are all one in a swirling cosmic dance of joy and delight. I loved it the first time I read about molecules being "excited"--I jumped up and yelled Yes-Yes they are!!! And so am I!! lol I find a great reality in that childish taunt "I know you are, but what am I ?" I am you and you are me and we are God and God is us...and the laws of Quantum Physics are proving that every day. It makes us all sacred and holy and when I lash out at my brother, in thought word or deed, I am lashing out at God. When I don't teach my children to respect people and to be kind and to be loving toward everyone on their path, then I am sorely remiss in my duties as a parent.

Sheesh. Okay--off the soapbox.
That was a lot of energy for late in the evening, lol.

May we all be blessed with love.

Namaste.

My Monday

It was a me-me-me day today. Needed some downtime and time to relax, so I headed off for the nearest college town and got me some manicure and pedicure action. It was wunnerful. Then I did a wee bit of grocery shopping and then came on home. I have been listening to music and cooking and having a grand day.

I will be home all day tomorrow until time to go to the class. I have about a thousand tigerlilies to get in the ground and 2 sedums (autumn joy, the dark red one) and a few other odds and ends as well. It has rained most of today...just a soft rain mostly, with a little squall tucked in here and there for good measure. I am amazed at the plant growth in the past 2 days. You can't even tell the yard got a haircut on Saturday, and my clematis is taller than the trellis!!! The pea pods in the garden are almost 2 inches tall. The grreens are coming up nicely, and am just starting to see the beets too.

I have a sick kitty...not eating and vomiting from time to time. May have to take her to the vet...

Scarey thing, this swine flu outbreak. Head of the CDC was saying today that it won't do any good to wear masks, and I haven't any idea what the death toll is up to now. And then an earthquake on top of it Mexico City. Prayers being flung about the Universe for everyone to be safe. There are reports of the same flu in Israel, CHina and the United States. This couold be some kind of a deal. Hubby works with some guys that were taking a trip down to Cancun in 2 weeks. Not any more, probably. I need to get online and read the latest info... I just happened to have seen CNN when I was having my piggies attended to. We haven't had a television now for over a month. It's been an incredible blessing.

I'm ready for bed. Just stopping in to finish up my day in the right way. With a gratitude list:

1. I am healthy
2. I am sober.
3. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not anymore.
4. I am absolutely loved beyond a shadow of a doubt.
5. If my life were any better, I maybe wouldn't be able to stand it!
6. My relationship with Creator grows more every day.
7. I am blessed today.
8. I know that it's hard to be hateful when you're feeling grateful.
9. I have found a place where I fit, and it's called Alcoholics Anonymous.
10. I never have to drink again if I don't want to.



Namaste.

Sunday on a string.,..

A nice peaceful shot of MY Blue Ridge Mountains.


Another exhausting and wonderful day. A meeting this morning and gave a 3 month coin to a sponsling. Then a light lunch with hubby and then off to the CSO to hold the workshop for new GSR's. Only about 12 people in attendance. Not a great turnout, but there was lots of competition on this almost 85 degree day. lol

Came home and sat around for a minute and then proceeded to plant 6 pounds of fingerling potatoes. Also started some pumpkins and some yellow bell peppers and green bell peppers in flats. Al my heirloom seeds came yesterday except for 2 types that they were out of. Red bell peppers and something else.

Then it was a short play time with the doggies and then supper.
I am whipped.

What a blessing it is for drunks like us to have boring old normal days! I am grateful for these times. Taking hubby to work tomorrow and then off to get flea stuff for the dogs. Grateful to have the money to spend on stuff like this.

Grateful to have the opportunity to play in the dirt. To be able to raise much of my own food. To always grow enough every year to give away too. To enjoy silly stuff like this...I can remember a day when this kind of life bored me to tears. When all I wanted to do was run. To be anywhere else but where I happened to be, with whomever I happened to be with. Never happy, never content or satisfied, always looking for a different answer.

All this has changed for me. It's been a wonderful journey into my life and I am loving it, every step of the way.

How blessed are we?

I'm off to dance with the sandman.

Namaste.

Last Saturday of April

Oh my. What a wonderful day I have had!

Long, surely, and full to the brim with community and creativity and spirituality. It started off with an early morning and a leisurely breakfast/brunch. Cared for all the critters and the house and the birds outside. Went to the springs to refill the drinking water jugs. I pulled a couple of loaves of zucchini bread out of the freezer from last years uber bounty (lol) so they could thaw and be sliced and plattered to take along to the Earth Day celebration we were attending. We were out of the house by noon and headed out. I'll save the descriptions of THAT for tomorrow morning, as I am really tired tomight.

I am constantly amazed by the world I live in today. More all the time, I am in love with the beings who cohabitat here. It seems like the longer I live, the broader my horizons become and the more I appreciate every last drop of my existence. Maybe it's because time is going by so quickly or I am savoring each moment so much more. I don't know...

By the grace in my life today, I look at the world-- my world-- through new eyes almost every morning. I have a set of small rituals and rites that I perform consistently that send me on my way in a grounded and serene manner. I have a list of people that I say the smallest of prayers and blessings for (usually) before the sun comes up. I look to the Four Directions like my grandmother taught me and I bless the world. There is a tribe of Natives that do a ritual called the Jump Dance, because it is their job to help keep the earth in balance. They are taught from infancy that they have a sacred responsibility to do this, so that man might continue to live and prosper in the world. I feel like I have a responsibility too, to keep my world in balance and to maintain the ritual of blessing every person, every animal that crosses my path. A responsibillity to care for my planet in every way I know how. That includes everything from my rituals and prayers to recycling and greening up the place.

I am blessed to have a connection to my world that I thought I had lost in my years as a practicing alcoholic and drug addict. Those lost years, when I was disconnected form people and from life. Today I am in my life up to my armpits. Fully involved and immersed in a life that is so full and rich and blessed.

I am blessed to have new friends all the time.

I am blessed to be a tool of my Creator...as useful today as is humanly possible for someone like me. An open channel, a cracked pot. *grin

I am especially blessed to have lived long enough to get to experience all this.

And for these things, I am truly grateful.


Namaste.

Trifling Tuesday

The end of a busy busy day here on the Prairie. I'm bone tired in a good way...and got lots accomplished.

Tonight was the Amazing Universe class. The discussion was lively and varied and all in all, I think I'll go back again, lol. It was a lot of exploding primordial ooze talk, very scientific. Lots of timeline technical stuff and elements and cellular history.

On the way there, we saw a coyote walking purposefully across a field in a semi residential district. He was quite beautiful, looked fat and healthy. Later, on the way home in a different place, I had to slow way down as a red fox ran out onto the road. He stopped and looked at me as if to say "Exxxxxcuuuuse meeeee" and then he skittered back from whence he came. Kinda cool, seeing 2 predators in one night like that.

The night sky was covered with a gazillion stars and it was clear as a bell. The wind finally died down and that made it really nice. It's supposed to be 70 tomorrow and then 75 on Thursday. Yippee!!

I have plans to have lunch and then hit a nooner with two women, both mid-sixties, both with about one month sober. It should be interesting, lol. One just moved here form CHitown, and she doesn't know many people here. I got hooked up with her through a hotline call. The other is one of my sponslings, and she is on fire with sobriety right now. WooHoo! It should be fun to get them together. Older women have a hard time in this program sometimes. Lunch makes it easier. *wink

Not too much too say tonight, except that, as usual, I am feeling especially blessed to be walking this sober road. Read an obituary last night of someone I went to school with and used to party with here when I was young. Died of the ubiquitous "organ failure". Some of us get to get sober and clean and some of us stay out there and die before our time. It's an old story. Godspeed, Steven.

Grateful to have all kinds of things to do today besides drink. How great is that?

Life's a dance, when you know the Steps....



Namaste.

Monday, Funday....

Yeah...Funday...right. Not when you have 4 scheming little demons sucking the life outta you..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These kittens are running and climbing and jumping everywhere. They are such fun to watch. It's exhausting too, trying to keep up after them. They aren't the least afraid of the dogs, and are climbing and batting them and playing with their tails. What fun...they are 7 weeks old now and are eating kitten kibble mixed with canned kitten food, 2-3 times a day. Mama Kat cannot keep up with them. They are fat little roly poly things and extremely active.

I have had several women out here in the past week or so who haven't been to my house before. Spring is a beautiful time of year out here...the grounds are blanketed in violets and the little spring peepers. Lots of flowering trees up and down our road too. Daffodils and tulips, redbuds and that gorgeous new green of the willow trees. Hyacinths and Surprise lilies, forsythia and lilacs. The irises are about 3 inches tall now and the hollyhocks are getting a good start as well. All my daylilies are looking great, the Liatris is about an inch and a half high. One of my new sponsees is bringing me some old fashioned tiger lilies and some bearded irises (black and deep red!!!!) for my yard when she comes out Thursday. I've been looking for some tiger lilies...not so easy to find anymore. I don't know if they bred them into extinction in the process of creating day lilies or what. When I was a youngster growing up out here, they were everywhere.

I've been thinking about starting a big plant swap here locally. It could really be fun, and is a great way to get lots of diversity for your landscape at no charge. I'll need to research how you'd put one together so it could be organized enough to work. I'll keep you informed as to how it goes.

It's time for spring cleaning. If I could just get the motivation and energy on track I'd be alright. lol I have lots to do... just to get ready for the Gathering this summer. I also have to find the family reunion flyers I made and get them in the mail. awww.... I think I put them into my notebook that I keep all the park info in. It's always the first weekend in June. I already have all the pavillion and campsites booked and taken care of. It's the weekend before everyone comes here, so that will be a little hectic, but not too much. Just have to remember to breathe in and breathe out...lol

Enough rambling. Time for me to visit the Sandman...ZZzzzzzzz.......


Namaste.

Sunday the 19th of April

....Does it look like this cat is sticking out her tongue?????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am being terrorized by a pack of 4 furry demons who are in warp speed mode tonight. They are pulling CD cases off the shelf, climbing into garbage cans, jumping with all 4 feet into their water bowl, and taking running leaps at my bare legs in an effort to race up to my chin and bite me. At 7 weeks old, they are masters of the running spinning ninja leaps and crab jumps. We spend most of the time doubled over with laughter at their antics. But not tonight. I am tired and cranky and they really need to GO TO SLEEP !!!!!

I am feeling especially blessed today by the love of my animals. That unconditional love that reminds me that we are all connected and that man is just another animal on the planet.

I am back from my journey into the seamy side of life, lol. Doctors and hospitals and fears and finances. My health is good. Everything has come out alright in the end, reminding me that the time I waste worrying over things is not time well spent. I am grateful to know these things and put them behind me. I may never go to another doctor again. lol

I went to a meeting this morning and it was a 12x12 study, the topic was Step 4. It was a lively and spirited discussion with a good attendance, even though several of the regulars were AWOL. Afterwards we went to lunch with a friend and then it was time to head down for the monthly District meeting. It was short and sweet and we were out of there in less than an hour. BooRAH!! A lot of people feel that this kind of service is not their cup of tea, but it is our responsibility to do these things to ensure that AA will continue to be here for the next generations of alkies that are moving up. I have always enjoyed this part of service structure myself. I am awed by the way AA operates successfully against all odds. I'm honored to be part of it. It's one of those things I will never understand...that people don't think they should have to do service at this level because it isn't "fun".

I'm grateful for having been inducted into AA at a time and place where the notion of giving back [to AA] what has been so freely given to me was an edict, not a suggestion.
I'm grateful that I can be of service of any kind, at any time.
I'm grateful that I can be an example of AA at work.
I'm grateful to have friends of the caliber that do not shirk duties becasue it isn't "fun".
I'm grateful to be back posting again on this blog...
And I'm grateful for all the people I know in recovery, who show me that there is a blueprint for living here, available even to someone like me.


G'night all....

Tuesday at the races

Not feeling great, but tomorrow all this will be behind me. I have to be at the hospital at 10:30 AM, my neighbor is taking me. I'll tell you one thing- I'm glad this thing is only done every few years. lol My doctors office made the arrangements for it, and I cannot wait to meet this doctor who put THIS routine together. He and I are going to have a chat...

It's hard being on a clear liquid diet. Especially when I have a delightful chicken salad in the fridge calling my name. And leftover apricot glazed ham. Arrggghhh...why do I torture myself like this???? lol

I am a little weak, and have been in bed (or the bathroom) since before noon. The protocol that this guy uses is a killer... My poor doggies are worried about me as they hear me moaning and crying from time to time. And they are not used to me being holed up behind the closed bedroom door in the middle of their day.

I am feeling a little beat up, but wanted to stop in since I didn't make it yesterday. I was exhausted after being at the laundromat until 10 PM. I didn't feel good already and it was so hot and humid in there... I was hoping to be able to do laundry at home, but it's been raining for 3 days, and the well has flooded again. so....

I have to remember that it's important to follow directions. Both from the doctor and from my AA friends who remind me Easy Does It, and first things first. And most especially, that I can do anything for 24 hours, and get through this.

I need to go lie down again....later, Taters....


Namaste

Easter Sunday

This is an old picture of Miss Sophie, our beloved Cocker Spaniel. I just thought the blanket looked all Easter-y and this was taken around this time of year at the marina at Pere Marquette State Park. She left this world after a courageous battl;e with liver cancer, and she will always live in my heart.

It was a good day here ...grandson was back around 2 PM and his darling mother thought it would be great if he brought eggs and dye so he could color eggs HERE. sigh...lol We did the deal after an early dinner of ham and sweet potatoes and green beans. It was an ordeal and a mess ensued, but nothing we can't handle. Later tonight when I was packing hubby's lunch, the young prince came in and said, Can we hide an Easter egg in his lunch? So, we did...picked out the prettiest blue one and put an Easter sticker on it and put it in a bag that he wrote Happy Easter from Tristan! across the front.

Earlier we watched Finding Nemo, and then a movie called Fly Away Home. If you have never seen Fly Away Home--GET IT NOW!!!!! It is a heartwarming story about a young girl whose divorced mother is killed in a car wreck in New Zealand (Where they live) and her father comes down to get her and take her back to Canada. It's based on a true story about migrating birds, so get it! lol

I talked to a friend tonight who is celebrating a birthday in sobriety. I talked to 2 sponslings, one of whom is coming for lunch tomorrow. I felt very connected to the program today, even though I opted out of going to a meeting.

My life is full and sort of simply complicated these days. The 12 steps have given me the tools I need to get through tough situations and hard times. Getting sober has given me the compassion and tolerance and patience to live a better life. Staying sober, no matter what, has given me a new lease on life. ..."Those feelings of uselessness and pity have disappeared..." How great is that?

I made a chicken salad tonight with pecans and grapes and celery and onion and mayo and sour cream with just a whiff of lemon curry in it. I'm taking hubby to work so that I can stop and get some croissants for sandwiches and pick up a few other things. I have a taste for some sparkling water.... that will be our lunch. The ham turned out really well....the glaze of apricot jam, brown sugar and dry mustard was a hit (and very simple).

There's a light rain falling and it makes me want to sleep. Since I have to get up at 5, it's not a bad thing. So...I shall bid thee adieu, and send wishes for a bright tomorrow.


Namaste.

Saturday...in the park

I'm having one of those days where the blessings in my life just seem to be raining down on me like a beautiful spring shower. It looks like this:

~ Seeing wildflowers all over the park today
~ Seeing the brilliantly sunny day
~ Smelling that damp musky earth smell as we trudged through the woods
~ Feeling the love of my life holding my hand as we walked
~ Listening to newly sober people telling how fresh and new everything feels
~ Reading some new blogs tonight and being moved by each one
~ Talking to my husband about spending the day tomorrow at home
~ Falling asleep at my computer....


Namaste!

Fridays Furrows

The elusive blackberry lily.

I wasn't sure why it was called that until the end of the first summer I had planted them, when the flowers are gone, the seed pod emerges and it looks just like a blackberry! Cool beans.

I have a lot of gratitude for the nature I am constantly surrounded by. Our little piece of heaven has hickory and walnut trees. Lots of violets are sticking their heads up in the yard now, along with the little pink veined white flowers whose name I cannot remember. Any minute now the trillium will show her waxy leaves and the May Apples will start popping up. I've seen a few of those already...and the morel mushrooms often come up around where you find the May Apples, so this is a sign yhat the mushroom picking season is coming soon.

The nurseries and greenhouse are all overflowing and ready to start hawking their wares. Seeing landscaping companies' trucks all over and guys out mowing lawns. angels bending over every blade of grass, whispering..."Grow, Grow".

I love this time of year. Even with the surprise setbacks and returns of inclement weather, it's beautiful and magnificent. Last night we had severe thunderstorms and flash floods. Couldn't post my blog because I had to turn the computer off and unplug everything because of lightning. We had lots of flooding 'round these parts....my road was covered with water in a bunch of places.

Love of nature, gratitude for a sober life, the awe of the miracles of spring...all these combine to make a magical existence. I am especially blessed to be me today. A destination I never thought I would find, once upon a time.


Namaste.

Thumping Thursday

A quickie post tonight..

My grandson is staying here for the next couple of days, he's very upset over something that's happened between him and his biological father that involves copious amounts of alcohol. He was removed from the situation by his other grandparents. We're trying to work with his mom and my son to keep him with family and safe ...and comforted. He's terribly sad and anxious. No child should have to deal with our alcoholism, but they always do. He's 12, and has been living with my son and his mother for over 8 years now. We talked and talked tonight after I got home from the womens meeting , and I sat with him until he fell asleep, surrounded by his guardian angels on the sofa bed. Molly, Lucy, Caylee, Popo. Frank, Junko, Lily, and Sam are all laying close and keeping him company. Bless his little heart. I guess it got pretty ugly and his dad was screaming things at him and throwing bottles against the walls. He said Nana, you wouldn't believe all the things he was saying about my mom and Tom and you guys and my other grandparents. I tried to explain that sometimes when people are real drunk, they don't know what they're saying and they say things they don't really mean. But he is heartbroken and says he never wants to go there again.

We talked and talked, and I gave him a journal to write down his feelings in. It has a picture of a Sharpei on the front, and he sat in bed tonight and started writing. I told him it was his private property and nobody else had to see it, but maybe writing in it would help him sort out his feelings a bit. He is such a doll of a kid, I hate seeing this happening in his life.

It brings to mind why I feel so especially blessed to not be THAT drunk anymore...that I don't have to have poison spewing out of my mouth at the drop of a hat. That I don't have to break the hearts of children anymore. That I don't have to burn every bridge I ever had.

It serves as a grim reminder of what I could have back if I dropped my vigilance and the work I do in recovery to stay sober.

It reminds me of what a monster the disease of alcoholism really is... And how it chews us up and spits us out all over the road.

I am way grateful today for the Red Road, and for the relationship I have with my Creator. And to know that if I don't pick up a drink or a drug today...I have a chance at a life filled to the brim with love and happiness.


Namaste.

Wild and Wooly Wednesday

It was a mildly satisfying day in which I did almost none of the things on the list I so carefully crafted. I did cook a lovely pork shoulder roast, with potatoes and tons of carrots and celery and onions in it. I had it in the crock pot by 8 AM and it was cooked to perfection by 6. It was half of the one I bought yesterday...

I did call the plumber around 8:30 AM and they didn't call back until 4:30 to tell me they were too busy to take the job and would have to pass. :( I called 2 other places in the area, and neither of them called me back. It's more than a little frustrating. NObody much works on these pumps anymore except the old farmers who still have wells on their properties.

Rereading my post from last night and all the great comments, I thought--Yikes. What did I say?? Days like that don't seem like such a big deal really...they just happen and sometimes my reactions are just a little...well....extreme (?) maybe. I rarely get wiped out emotionally like that anymore, and when I do, it just feels like time for a cleansing. I read somewhere (Psychology Today) years back, that they had done a study on the chemical content of tears. Seems that when you cry for different reasons, the chemical make up of the tears is different. I found that fascinating. That maybe when you got overloaded with a certain neurochemical, it would cause things to happen in your brain that would make you cry to release some of the toxins. So when I meltdown like that from time to time, I think it's just my brain/body's way of saying " Hold it--lets lower the level of (???) in here! " I love to think of the human body as being some kind of efficent mechanism with all kinds of built-in failsafes.

So, anyways...today I lugged a 5 gallon bucket filled 3/4 full of water from the pond so I could flush the toilets. The waters very clean and it works well. That I do this kind of stuff freaks some people out, I know. They cannot imagine living like this, they tell me. But it's just like camping. Or anytime there's a power outage from storms or tornadoes. The pump is electric, so no power=no water too. I think it's kinda cool to know that I can survive no matter what comes down the pike. The only problem is lugging a bucket of water like that up from the pond, across uneven ground, with doggies jumping and chasing and playing all 'round my feet makes for a good chance of injury. And of course I strained my back, even though I was trying to be careful. Then I had to sit out on the front porch reading for the rest of the afternoon, while the crockpot did all the work making dinner. I did get up and sweep the front porch, but then I was right back down on my fanny again, taking it easy.

And now here it is, bedtime and all's well. Still a little sore, but I'm taking care of it. The dishes are all done, the husbands lunch is all packed. The kittens are all sleeping in a little pigpile. All the dogs and cats are in for the night. I have been listening to a CD of The Age of Modern Composers: Dvorak, Grieg, Ravel, Elgar and Rachmaninoff, to name a few. It is lovely and relaxing and the perfect follow up to the Miles Davis Cool Blues CD I listened to earlier.


What a blessing to be able to hear and appreciate good music!
What gratitude I have for my own capabilities !
What blessings are these furry babies of mine !
What gratitude I have for sacred spaces !
What blessings come in the arms of spring !



Namaste.

Tuesday ...just Tuesday

Oh yeah...this is definitely what I needed today....

What a day. It started out on a doable front and wound up with me having a meltdown. It was just a bubble off "Life on life's terms" and I wasn't coping well at all. sigh...

To begin with, Mr Weather Anchorman...it never hit 60 today. It was 52 at the apex. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!! It was cold out there and it was cold in my house, because I refuse to turn the heat back on when it's spring. (I know...I know).

I cleaned the carpets, and I'd no more than gotten started when the pump stopped working, and I had NO running water. In order to finish the job, I had to boil water and mix it in with spring water. So it took 3 times as long to finish it up. I hurt my back moving that stupid wooden table off the rug...you know, the one filled with Records (the vinyl music kind) which are heavy when there are probably 200 of them in there. Plus, the table is solid hardwood and an old piece of furniture. S-O-L-I-D.

I went outside to check for eggs and found one of my hens dead in the run. I have had these chickens for over 2 years and I have no idea what has happened. It's hard to cry over a dead chicken, but with my luck she was probably one of the only 2 that are laying regularly.

Then my brother called to say they won't be here tomorrow...the appointment was rescheduled AGAIN. (So, I could have waited on the floors). (And the groceries). Arrgghhh....

Then I had a coughing fit that was so bad, I peed myself. THAT WAS IT!!!!!!! As I ran to the bathroom, I tripped and stumbled, and started to cry. In a matter of minutes, I'm sitting in the bathroom bawling like a baby, and little babydawg is sitting in the hallway looking at me, cocking her adorable little head this way, then that way, and trying to figure out what she is supposed to do next. And I had a good cry and then I felt better.

My back still hurts, and the pump still doesn't work. But the floors are clean, and I have a pork shoulder to cook tomorrow and I'm staying home and planting the rest of the hens and chicks and a beautiful red Bee Balm plant I was given today. I'm also getting some flowering Quince from my neighbor and some other things maybe...so I can work out in the yard all day tomorrow if I want. The weather people assure me it will be in the 60's tomorrow.....


And I'm blessed to know that I'll wake up sober tomorrow and start my day with prayer and try to keep it on the straight and narrow.


And I have the number to the plumber, and I'm calling him first thing.... As soon as I have my coffee.


Namaste.

Mickey Muldoon Monday

LOL.....

I'm sitting here with the tiniest grey kitten asleep across my heart. This one always looks like about 50 volts is running through him. He's a longhair and all fuzzy and the static electricity as his fur standing on end. Looks kinda like the one in the picture, only grey.

The potluck was a success, the spring rolls got rave reviews. We had great food...butternut squash soup, bagels. baked brie and crackers, citrus striped butter cookies that I MUST have the recipe for! We were there for about 2 hours, talking and eating. We'll definitely take trip up there when you guys come, Anna....I think you'll love it.

I feel so grateful to have found such a caring and wonderful place!

Other blessings crossing my mind:

~~My friends Tim and Jay and the way they model love and caring for me all the days of my life.

~~ The life that I lead One Day At A Time, that gives me a plate full of gratitude.

~~ That I didn't do so much damage to my brains with booze and drugs that I couldn't take part in this wonderful series of classes I'm taking.

~~That I feel loved and precious to another human being.

~~ That I am seeing a paradigm shift in the world, in all sorts of small ways.

~~ That every cloud has a silver lining, just like my grandma used to tell me.

~~That God's got a deal for drinks that don't drink.


Up early in the morning, and need to get myself off to bed. Looking forward to a new day.




Namaste, my friends.

Spectacular Sunday

A day spent puttering around the old homestead. Spring is in the air, but it turned really cold tonight. I picked up a sponsling and went to an 8 o'clock meeting. By the time I got out of there, it was cold and rainy and the wind was biting. I stopped at the grocery store Schnuck's (open 24 hours) to buy the rest of the stuff I needed to make spring rolls for the potluck tomorrow night, and then I stopped to fill the gas tank as well. It was freaking frigid!!!!!! I couldn't wait to get home.

The meeting was good. A friend was back from Florida where she goes to live off and on throughout the year. The topic was out of As Bill Sees It. There was a young man getting a 30 day card. Another woman I have been told over and again "Surly you know her!" and tonight I finally met. All in all, a good evening.

Today on Craig's List, I found a food dehydrator for 25 dollars, and a vacuum (Oreck, no less) for 75. I am hoping to be able to get them tomorrow. Those Orecks are 300 dollars and up new. This one is barely used she says. The dehydrator is just like one I used to have, I think. I don't know what ever happened to that one...it probably got lost in the move. Husband thinks it got broken. Anyway, I have 2 phone calls to make in the morning.

I'm feeling blessed tonight. Made a lovely dinner of spaghetti putanesca with garlic bread. I am arguing with a friend who is a vegetarian and says putanesca has anchovies in it. I have dear friends in Callifornia who operate a world class Italian eatery, and they told me years ago that they put that on their menu because it literally translates to sauce of the whore. Apparently working girls who had little monies, would throw together marinara with whatever they could find in the cupboards. It made sufficient meals and used up everything. So--my Putanesca had garlic, onions, red-yellow-green bell peppers from my freezer (organically grown in my own garden), black olives from the fridge, grated carrots, organic dried basil (once again-from my garden)...and the requisite ground pear tomatoes and shredded Parmesan cheese. Saute the veggies in a little olive oil. Yum

I'm sleepy and it's time to rest my weary head.


Namaste.


PS!!!!!! Apparently last night I hit save instead of publish and went to bed. This morning I couldn't find this post...until I looked in the save draft box....ay yi yi yi......

Silly Saturday

[A Smile From God]



Been a busy few days here on the old homestead. Mundane things like planting rhubarb and planting flowers, cleaning house, inventorying pantries...my new glasses came in and I had to go pick them up on Friday Took my vacuum down to the repair place last week. The prognosis may not be good. Trying not to speculate...lol

Today was my brother's 54th birthday, so about 15 of us got together at the Red Robin joint for lunch. We really had a great time. My son and DIL and youngest grandson came, my niece and her brother and his wife and family, SIL, sister and her husband. I found my brother a hat that said "My fishing addiction is not the PROBLEM, it's the cure!" And a T shirt that said "I got a fishing pole for my wife....best trade I ever made"...and a bunch of odds and ends of hooks and lures and fishing stuff. Life is good.

I planted about 75 hen and chicks today and hurt my back again. I am so sick of not being able to do anything without paying a price. I did a little housekeeping and a little cooking and a lot of playing with these demon kittens who like to run up and down my legs when I'm sitting in the computer chair or standing at the sink. I have to wear long pants all the time. My hands and legs are so scratched up it's funny.

I am so blessed today, beyond my wildest dreams. I remember someone saying when I was in early sobriety "If I had gotten everything I wanted when I first got sober, I would have been seriously shortchanged". That's sure the way it has been for me...above and beyond my greatest expectations.

Namaste.

Whackey Wednesday

[Mother's Mandolin. Dated and autographed print by the artist C.Don Ensor]





Not one person said "APRIL FOOL !!!!!!!!!" to me today. Isn't that odd? lol Although when I was in Walgreens the 3 or 4 women manning the cash registers all started picking up their phones and saying (over the intercom) Manager, Line 1. Rick, call extension 288. Manager, please come to the front of the store, Mr. Rick, extension 321, Manager to the Pharmacy please...and so on and so on , until a disheveled perplexed guy comes walking out from the office, shaking his head, and they're all laughing at him. It was pretty funny.

I got a lot of my errands done today and even picked hubby up from work on time. One of the gifts of sobriety is that I am almost always where I say will be when I say I will be there. I did neglect to make dinner though, so we stopped off at a local Chinese buffet and hubby ate like a man that had just worked for 10 hours and I had the vegetable chow mein.

We have been watching a BBC series called Ballykissangel that we fell in love with some years back. I bought the entire set on DVD for us for Christmas one year. It so wonderful and if you've never seen it, I highly recommend it. It's basically about an English priest sent to a parish in Ireland. It's a tiny little community and full of outrageous characters and antics. We're slowly getting used to not having actual television...it's quite peaceful. But we do have a lot of videos and such to watch, if we want to. Already we're reading more and having more conversations and eating at the table by candlelight. Pretty cool beans, if you ask me.

I am going to have to start shopping for a new steam cleaner for my carpets. Cannot live without one in this household. The one I just blew up was about 5 years old, or maybe 6....so I guess I got my money's worth. It's time to clean the carpets again!

Feeling pretty grateful today for getting 5 gorgeous and huge Rhubarb plants and about 125 hens and chicks....all for about 20 bucks. It was a Craig's List ad and it was right up here in the town where hubby works. Guess I'll be giving away hens and chicks to anybody who'll take 'em...and plant a lot along the top edge of my rock wall and wherever else I can find a spot. Both plants I need to get out the books and find out what their optimal conditions are for growth. Sun or Shade? Sandy soil or regular? Fertilizer or not?

Did not get the grass seed broadcast like I'd hoped to...ran out of time. That's okay though. I just move it to tomorrow's list. lol Just got a call from a sponsling reminding me that we're meeting tomorrow...oops. Uh, sure, right...when? *grin I made the mistake of not writing it down. I always need to write this stuff down....there are too many sponslings in the pond for me to not be writing this stuff down...

Speaking of which...another blessing to be grateful for today. I got a call from the no show detox girl...on Friday she's "graduating" from IOP. She called to tell me and she was so tickled. She said they each have to make a little speech and she's gonna make sure to say "Get on out of here and go to meetings!!!!" lol She's still sober and she's doing a good job of calling and talking and going to meetings. And not drinking, one day at a time.

You know...this thing Works..and it works GOOD!

I have a life beyond my wildest dreams....


Namaste.