A quickie post tonight..My grandson is staying here for the next couple of days, he's very upset over something that's happened between him and his biological father that involves copious amounts of alcohol. He was removed from the situation by his other grandparents. We're trying to work with his mom and my son to keep him with family and safe ...and comforted. He's terribly sad and anxious. No child should have to deal with our alcoholism, but they always do. He's 12, and has been living with my son and his mother for over 8 years now. We talked and talked tonight after I got home from the womens meeting , and I sat with him until he fell asleep, surrounded by his guardian angels on the sofa bed. Molly, Lucy, Caylee, Popo. Frank, Junko, Lily, and Sam are all laying close and keeping him company. Bless his little heart. I guess it got pretty ugly and his dad was screaming things at him and throwing bottles against the walls. He said Nana, you wouldn't believe all the things he was saying about my mom and Tom and you guys and my other grandparents. I tried to explain that sometimes when people are real drunk, they don't know what they're saying and they say things they don't really mean. But he is heartbroken and says he never wants to go there again.
We talked and talked, and I gave him a journal to write down his feelings in. It has a picture of a Sharpei on the front, and he sat in bed tonight and started writing. I told him it was his private property and nobody else had to see it, but maybe writing in it would help him sort out his feelings a bit. He is such a doll of a kid, I hate seeing this happening in his life.
It brings to mind why I feel so especially blessed to not be THAT drunk anymore...that I don't have to have poison spewing out of my mouth at the drop of a hat. That I don't have to break the hearts of children anymore. That I don't have to burn every bridge I ever had.
It serves as a grim reminder of what I could have back if I dropped my vigilance and the work I do in recovery to stay sober.
It reminds me of what a monster the disease of alcoholism really is... And how it chews us up and spits us out all over the road.
I am way grateful today for the Red Road, and for the relationship I have with my Creator. And to know that if I don't pick up a drink or a drug today...I have a chance at a life filled to the brim with love and happiness.
Namaste.
