A Two-derful Tuesday (That's One-derful times two...)

 This is Merlin. Or, as he is affectionately known,  Merrman the Purrman.  It's the little jazz kitty, all grown up... He is by far one of the most laid back cats we have ever had, and that's saying a LOT!  lol  He's quite a literary cat, and anytime he sees a book or magazine laying on a table, he's all over it. Literally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Ah...it was a gorgeous day here on the Prairie. About 70 degrees and sunny and I had a girlfriend over for lunch and made quiche and salads. Afterwards we sat out on the front porch in the big green rocking chairs and soaked up the sunshine. It was a delightful day. I got up real early this morning and got the office finished up, cleaned house a little and mopped the wood floors. I spruced things up a bit...new tablecloth on the table, burned some sandalwood incense, and opened the windows all up again. I took care of the neighbors dogs for the last time (they came home today) and even found time for some meditation and prayer here in my newly organized and born again office. lol

  My friend and I walked around the yard and took note of all the greening up that is going on.  Even the Japanese maple has  buds on it already. Typically, she oohed and ahhed over everything and all I could see was all the work I haven't done yet and need to get busy on. I'm really looking forward to my yards this year, even though it is a lot of work,. it's good work.  Soul food.

  It must be spring...I have ants in the bathroom!!!!  lol

  Oh yeah, DJan.  ES&H is Experience, Strength and Hope. I forgot that you had asked!

I'm ready to hit the hay. Tomorrow we are carpooling up to the recovery house for the womens meeting, and then I have to be back and at physical therapy by 3:45. After that, a bunch of women are gathering at one's house to watch The Secret.  I've told the Irishman that I will likely be gone before he gets home from work, so he's on his own. I'm really looking forward to meeting some new friends and catching up with old ones.  And of course, we'll be eating.  lol

  I'm planning to get some baby chicks this week...Will keep them in the house until they're big enough to hold their own out there in the henhouse.  I'm excited. I love baby chicks...no rooster this time though...he was way more hassle than he was worth.

   Count your blessings...and make gratitude a gift you choose every day!!

Namaste.


 

Saturday January 9, 2010

The Snowbringer. I swiped her from somewhere that evades me just now, because I thought she was so incredibly beautiful.

The mercury is registering ZERO degrees right now. It will get colder still before daylight. A friend of mine in Floriduh sent out a picture of a snowman she built yesterday. This is some crazy shit, dude. Today there was a 6.5 magnitude earthquake off the coast of my old stomping grounds. They are saying that there are some gas, sewer and water leaks, some traffic lights came down, minor injuries from breaking glass, but all in all...no major damage.I have to admit...I kinda miss earthquakes.


Heading south tomorrow to my brothers for my nieces 7th birthday party. Hard to believe--seems like she was just a baby, waiting to come home from the hospital. She had to stay a while, becasue she was a 7 month preemie and had lots of problems. BUt today she is a little hellraiser and constantly on the go. She had to have a lot of operations so she could walk, and the Shriners Hospital in St Louis were such a blessing to my family. It's one charity I never fail to support...they work miracles for families and children. Today she's one of the healthiest kids I know. (Thank you, God.)


Trying to get to bed early tonight, so I'm cutting this a little short. We watched 2 movies tonight, first Silence of the Lambs and then Hannibal. Had some wonderful Spaghetti and garlic bread for supper. A low key stay at home kind of Saturday. Nice..........


Grateful tonight to be sober and happy. Grateful that all my needs are met and all my wants are few. Grateful that I have a nice warm house to live in and that I have plenty of food to eat. That I can read and write and watch 2 movies in 1 night if I want to. That I have family who never turned their backs on me at any time during my alcoholism, even though they probably should have. That I have grandkids who have never seen me drunk.


That I can go to sleep, and wake up in the morning ready to face a new day, and be grateful for everything that comes.


Blessings and sweet dreams to all y'all....


Namaste.

Tuesday...again

The St. Louis Cathedral in New Orleans...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crikey...

It's been 2 weeks since my last post. A hiatus from all things bloggy....for the most part. From time to time, it's important to take a break and reflect...so I did.

I have been busy with lots of things...family and friends, getting things taken down and ready for the approaching winter. It's 46 degrees tonight...the nights are getting cooler and cooler and so are the days...barely cresting 60. I have had the air conditioning off for a while, but even had to close the windows ! Fall is beautiful in these parts, but I hate to see the summer go, in a way. On the other hand, winter is a time of rest, and I'm surely ready for that. lol

There's lots of viruses going around here...so far (knock wood) we haven't had any of them. Taking echinacea faithfully and lots of Vitamins B and C too. Drinking rooiboos tea as well...getting plenty of fresh air, washing the hell out of my hands and staying away from sickies as much as possible. Not getting a flu shot...haven't had one since about 1977, and have no intention of starting now. Too much controversy over it all...

Sitting here tonight feeling grateful for this life of elegant blessings I am graced to live. A modest home in the country, more love than I could have ever imagined, health, enough food and [finally] water. Getting to live sober and attend meetings and be of service. Having an office full of books that I am able to (and have!!) read. Having a computer and the necessary skills to operate it. Having a house full of pets and being able to feed them. Having enough extra room to share with someone who needs a hand up from time to time. Being blessed with grandchildren. Getting to live my own life...one day at a time, sober, and happy.

It doesn't get much better than that.


Namaste.

Suddenly Saturday

This is one of the places we took the oldest grandson to pan for gold,when he came to visit for 2 weeks in North Carolina.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How blessed am I ???

Let me count the ways...

1. Sober as a judge today.
2. Happy, Joyous and free.
3. Not regretting my past.
4. Living out in God's country, in the peace and quiet.
5. Grateful as all get out, for almost everything.
6. I have a house full of happy pets that love me unconditionally.
7. I am married to a kind, sober man.
8. Not to mention handsome!
9. And smart!
10. I have enough food to eat.
11. I have a roof over my head.
12. I have satellite connection for my computer.
13. I'm getting water...SOON! Like, next week, maybe!
14. I have a Higher Power that loves me and wants the best for me.
15. I have friends who love me, warts and all.
16. I have a peace in my heart that I have never known before.
17. I have a spirit inside me that sometimes sings!
18. I am blessed with family and with more love than I can possibly need.
19. I can make a list like this, and it makes me feel better.
20. I can go to sleep tonight, knowing I've lived my best, loved my best, and be ready to do it all over again tomorrow.

"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." ~J.B. Priestly (1894-1984)

Namaste.

Saturday Rantz...

Sigh...my other blog has "lost" the blogroll when I changed themes. This kind of techie stuff makes me loony. I've been screwing around with it for an hour, and can't figure out how to get it back on there.

I'm grateful for a relaxing and quiet day today. Had the young grandson Thursday and Friday and such a blessing he is!! BUT--he's still highly energetic and leaves me ready for a nap by the time he's gone home again. THIS is why young people have the babies...lol


My youngest brother is coming up later this next week. Apparently his plant is on shutdown and he's got a week's vacation. So, I guess we're all meeting up down at my other brothers house for a bbq and family gathering. Criminey. We were just together in June. lol I can remember a time when I never saw any of them more than about every 5 years. Now I see them all the time, most of them are on Facebook, and they all have my phone number. What IS the world coming to?? lol

I've been thinking alot today about all the things I have to be grateful for in my life. Not the least being that I am scheduled for an MRI to get this knee taken care of. MRI on Monday, orthopedic doctor on Friday. Thank goodness. The gimpiness is getting to me...and the pain--well, never mind. Soon it will all be over. And I'll be ready to dance.

I was at a meeting on Friday night where 4 people 'fessed up to a relapse. YIKES! That may be an all time record for me. Luckily I only sponsored one of the four. lol

I was told early on that a SLIP meant S-sobriety L-loses I-it's P-priority
Another good one is EGO E-Edging G-God O-Out
And my all time favorite is NUTS N-Not U-Using T-The S-Steps

I feel especially blessed that I have been able to come here and stay here...I know that's not how it is for a lot of people. There have been a couple of wobbly times, but somehow my Creator managed to keep me firmly anchored in the middle of this tapestry of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous. For that I am forever grateful.


I feel especially blessed to be married to a guy in the program too. Most of the time. *grin
I feel especially blessed to have a son who is clean and sober almost 10 years now.
I feel especially blessed to have been given a whole new life in sobriety.

The beauty of a life filled with grace and love and a relationship with God....is indescribable. I am glad that I didn't get what I thought I wanted (or needed) and I am forever grateful that I didn't quit...5 minutes before the miracle.



Namaste.

Wild Wednesday

I love this Native Blessing. Especially that first line...May the winds of heaven blow softly upon your house...

Just home from a speaker meeting. Picked up a sponsee who has been AWOL since the birth of her first baby. I hope she'll latch back on and get herself back on track. We talked about trying to find the middle always. In my own life, I have found myself swinging from one extreme to the other in most things. It isn't easy to find the middle road when we're trying to juggle work and family and AA and whatever else life decides to throw our way. Part of the thrill of living is always, I think, trying to stay the course and find that safe and comfortable path down the middle. It's always about balance, my first sponsor used to say. I find this to be true.

After spending a fair amount of time this past few weeks with some very young 30'ish women, I'm grateful I am closing in on 60. lol There's a remarkable amount of freedom that comes with age. I am ever aware as well, of how childish and selfish alcoholic women can be. I know I was the same when I got here at 37 years old. Drunkenness takes away any choices we have to be responsible and sensible and reliable. When I think back about the last couple of years of my drinking, I am amazed at the way I behaved. Amazed at the way alcohol took every bit of decency I had left. Every bit of self respect. Every bit of consideration and compassion.

What a blessing to be sober in this time of life. What a blessing to have stayed sober long enough to regain all the important things I had lost. To have my family back, my life back, my love back.

How much does my Creator love me? I see it in every sunrise, every rainbow, every babys smile. How much does AA love me? I see it in every meeting, every Step, every prayer.

I think of all the ways things could have gone differently and badly. I see God's hand in it everywhere. Tonight I am feeling especially blessed. My 10th step helps me to look over the day, and know what I have to do to be a better person tomorrow than I was today. You people have given me a blueprint for living...Trust god, whatever you believe God to be. Clean House, clear away the wreckage of your past. Help others, and live a life that will surpass all your wildest dreams, where you will once again feel useful and learn the plans that your Creator has for you. Pretty big promises for useless drunks. But they happen in our lives and we get to share the wonder of sobriety with people just like us, looking for a new way to live.

I'm ready for bed. Busy day tomorrow, women's meeting speaker/potluck and I have to have the sloppy joes and hotdogs and lemonade there in the late afternoon, then go back north and pick up hubby from work. And of course, there's sponslings and pets and heaven only knows what tucked in here and there. And I can handle it all, because today I'm sober. A sober woman.

It's all a freaking miracle for a drunk like me.

God's got a deal for drunks that don't drink.

Namaste.

Friday is Fabulous!

While the rest of us fight our way upstream....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a lovely rainy Friday here on the Prairie. The power was off a couple of times this morning and I finished the Lawrence Block book I was reading, since I had to turn the power off to the computer. It's amazing how much reading I get done when my computer is either down or the power is off. lol

Block writes mystery thrillers about a main character Matt Scudder who is a recovering alcoholic. So the book is peppered with AA meetings and slogans and different things alluding to 12th step life. It's really pretty cool, and he is a great writer. I've been reading him for about 15 years.

I found some leftover turkey soup with homemade egg noodles in it in the freezer, and we had soup and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. Rainy days are always good for soup, even if the temps are in the low 70's while it rains. Then we got cleaned up and went out to go to a meeting at a treatment center about 45 minutes away, but when we went to pick up the girl that wanted to go, she didn't have a babysitter, so we'll just go next week. Instead, himself and I went to a local park and walked for awhile, and then went to a meeting there in town. It was a lovely day all 'round.

I came away from the meeting tonight grateful one again to not be a newcomer. Listening to people talk about what it's like in the early days brings back memories that are becoming faint. I remember thinking "I NEVER want to go through that again!!!" Hearing some of the sharing tonight had me thinking that again...that not going throuigh that again is a great reason to not take a drink, even if I couldn't think of anything else.

Here's the list of things I have to be grateful for tonight, on a Friday in early spring:

* The hamster wheel has been put out of commision.
*I don't live in fear of getting drunk today.
*I don't have to look over my shoulder anymore.
*I feel REALLY good.
*I am no longer restless, irritable and discontent.
*I can make promises and keep them.
*I'm not afraid to walk into any AA meeting, anywhere.
*Most all the people around me are trustworthy.
*I am trustworthy.
*Life is good.
*I have gratitude and blessings in my life today...and I KNOW it.



Time for me to lay this head down on a nice pillow, on my nice bed, and get some rest.

The Sandman beckons....


Namaste.

Trifling Tuesday

The end of a busy busy day here on the Prairie. I'm bone tired in a good way...and got lots accomplished.

Tonight was the Amazing Universe class. The discussion was lively and varied and all in all, I think I'll go back again, lol. It was a lot of exploding primordial ooze talk, very scientific. Lots of timeline technical stuff and elements and cellular history.

On the way there, we saw a coyote walking purposefully across a field in a semi residential district. He was quite beautiful, looked fat and healthy. Later, on the way home in a different place, I had to slow way down as a red fox ran out onto the road. He stopped and looked at me as if to say "Exxxxxcuuuuse meeeee" and then he skittered back from whence he came. Kinda cool, seeing 2 predators in one night like that.

The night sky was covered with a gazillion stars and it was clear as a bell. The wind finally died down and that made it really nice. It's supposed to be 70 tomorrow and then 75 on Thursday. Yippee!!

I have plans to have lunch and then hit a nooner with two women, both mid-sixties, both with about one month sober. It should be interesting, lol. One just moved here form CHitown, and she doesn't know many people here. I got hooked up with her through a hotline call. The other is one of my sponslings, and she is on fire with sobriety right now. WooHoo! It should be fun to get them together. Older women have a hard time in this program sometimes. Lunch makes it easier. *wink

Not too much too say tonight, except that, as usual, I am feeling especially blessed to be walking this sober road. Read an obituary last night of someone I went to school with and used to party with here when I was young. Died of the ubiquitous "organ failure". Some of us get to get sober and clean and some of us stay out there and die before our time. It's an old story. Godspeed, Steven.

Grateful to have all kinds of things to do today besides drink. How great is that?

Life's a dance, when you know the Steps....



Namaste.