A long, long day...

  Awoke to a mess of snow, wind and cold. Tromped out to feed the chickens and nearly fell on my keister, as I was wearing hubby's big rubber fishing boots. lol  They were the only thing tall enough to keep my feet out of the snow !!

  Was up early, had to go to MissB's house early again today. Needed time to make some kind of supper for the Irishman, as he has eaten all the leftovers and had to eat and run tonight. The class is reading and discussing A Sand County Almanac, by Aldo Leopold. SO...I threw together a chicken and rice casserole and tossed that bad boy in the oven. The house smelled so good!  

  Until the power went out. My oven has an electronic igniter on the pilot, so no power=no pilot light= no cooking.  Luckily, it wasn't out terribly long and they had it back on again and I finished cooking the darn thing before  I had to leave. And I had to leave earlier than normal because the roads are a mess.

  I'm always amazed at the difference in road maintenence from one county to the next. I know that our more rural county has less money for these things, and that the state is going broke...but sheesh...

  I'm sitting here with a heating pad on my neck. It was a gift from my friend Joni, one of the most generous women I have ever met. It's a rice filled lovely flannel long tube that you put in the microwave to heat and than drape it over your sore spots. It is AWESOME. Joni is someone that I met online (like many people I know these days) and have adored her since day one. When I finally met her in person, it was complete.  She is kind and wise and compassionate and full of joy. She is thoughtful and caring and wonderful. Twoderful, as she calls it, just one more than wonderful.  lol I know that I can call her anytime and get a sympathetic ear and a kind word and she understands a lot of what I go through. I was blessed by God the day I "met" her online and I will be forever grateful. As I sit here with the heat easing the knots out of my neck, I think of her fondly.  She is the kind of friend I aspire to be...and so often fall short of being.

  Well, I am really tired and so I think I will go to bed. I am reading another Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum novel...I love this woman's books and laugh all the way through them. This one is called Plum Spooky, and was published in 2008. It starts like this: 

  " Sometimes you get up in the morning and you know it's going to be one of those days. No

 toothpaste left in the tube, no toilet paper on the cardboard roll, hot water cuts out halfway through your shower, and someone's left a monkey on your doorstep."

  Sweet dreams and snowmen....

Lemon Meringue Pie...

  Made a lemon meringue pie today. Not for me, because I am NOT a big meringue fan, but made it for a friend who's feeling poorly and declares it to be her favorite. I do make a pretty mean meringue, if I do say so myself.  I also made a small tart sized one for the Irishman...He raved about it. lol

  For what is probably the 5th time in 2 years, someone I know  had colon cancer surgery today.  This time it was a tumor the size of a tennis ball. This stuff must be epidemic, seems like every time I turn around it has hit again. I want to scream from the rooftops :PEOPLE!!!!  HAVE A COLONOSCOPY, DAMMIT !!!!!!!!!

  It was a busy day today, and all grey and dreary. Big snowstorms coming in tonight and they are predicting 4-6 inches for us. The bad news is we still have some leftover from the last storm. I have a very small window these next couple of weeks to get all the things done I need to accomplish...very busy.  Today it was one load of laundry, vacuuming and a pie. Period.  Tomorrow I need to make granola bars and fix a nice supper to be waiting for my husband when he gets home from work. The past days he's been eating leftovers...he doesn't mind, and I don't mind, but not too many days in a row.  lol

  I called my neighbors on my way home tonight to let them know I was parking in their second  driveway tonight. They are so great...we have a hill at the bottom of our drive, and 6 inches of snow would be about enough to keep us from getting to the main roads. SO when the weather takes a turn like this,  we park our cars there.I am lucky to be blessed with such good neighbors. She loaned me a book called 29 Gifts, by Cami Walker....a marvelous story by a woman who was diagnosed with MS and turned her life around with a simple plan of giving.  I have signed up at the website...www.29Gifts.org   and would recommend you to do it too. It's all about gratitude and life and love.

   Had a great talk with a friend of mine from California the other day...we have known each other about 18 years.  She is an extraordinary woman and a great role model and friend. I am so very blessed to have her in my life, and we chatted on for hours about this and that.  Good to have friends that pick up the phone and talk as though we just saw each other yesterday, when in fact, it has been almost 10 years. She came out after my big accident, when we lived in North Carolina and stayed after I came home form the hospital.  I love her....

  I really am bone tired  and need to get to bed.  Here's hoping the sun shines on you today, and every day.

Namaste.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway...

Had to go back to the old editor under the settings tab and for some reason now I can post.

Thought I would take this days post and make it all quotes about friends and friendship. Because I am so tired I can barely think, and I don't want 2 melancholy posts in a row. I'd have to poke my eyes out.

SO--here are some of my favorites:


1) Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.--Aristotle

2) Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.--Samuel Butler

3) It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.--Emerson

4) Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.--Euripedes

5) It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing to do is face it.
--Somerset Maugham

6) One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. --Euripedes

7) Friendship is a furrow in the sand,--Tongan proverb

8) The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.--Mark Twain

9) Great friendship is never without anxiety.--Marquise de Sevigne

10) Sooner or later, you've heard all your best friend has to say. Then comes the tolerance of real love.--Ned Rorem

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

Here's to our friends....



Namaste.

A True Friend

  A Nigerian Proverb says "Hold a true friend with both your hands."

    IN 1976, I left my birthplace of the midwest and ran away to California. I hitched a ride with a Marine I met at a pool table who was headed back to Twenty Nine Palms.  I had no intention of staying in southern California, but planned to head north to a  little resort town. The town was called Clearlake Highlands, and I knew some people there. This town (which has since shortened its name to simply Clearlake.) is about 2 hours  northeast  of San Francisco, and Lake county is a delightful compilation of scattered small towns around the edges of Clear Lake, the largest natural lake completely within the borders of the state of California.  This lake is nestled in a bowl made of mountains that surround the area, one of those being an inactive volcano called Mt. Konocti.  There is an Indian tribe that makes their home there and all kinds of unsavory creatures that get paroled there from Los Angeles, because the courts think maybe they'll be more likely to stay out of trouble there. As if.  There are lots of retirees living there, because (for California) the cost of living is low. There is little or no industry except the hospitality business. That means bars and restaurants  and hotels.I knew I could find work there.

  The first day I was there, I was walking down main street and passed a man on a ladder. He looked like Jesus. He was pretty rag-tag, I thought and was grinning like a hyena. Turns out he was painting a  sign over a shop, and when he leaned down, I could smell that sweaty turpentine smell that I would come to know so well.  He spoke shyly, and said hello--you're somebody that I don't know yet!  I introduced myself, said I just got into town from Illinois, and he burst into a rendition of "Lookin' out my back door".  We laughed and he wiped his hand on his bib overalls and reached out to shake my hand. Told me his name was Rudy and he was a sign painter and musician. We became fast friends immediately, lovers for a while, and back to fast friends again.  He was one of those intellectual types that is almost too smart for his own good, but was a complete misfit. He lived in a storefront and was a vegetarian and had traveled with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi as a camp cook because he wanted to learn to meditate at the feet of the master. (Remember TM ??)  He played almost every musical instrument known to man. You could put him in a room with an instrument for half an hour and he would come out playing it. I was awed by him.  He cooked for me, concoctions of strange food I had never eaten or heard of before. I became a vegetarian, and we would do grape juice fasts one day a week and sit in the stillness and listen to Joni Mitchell.  He played in a band and he painted weird abstract pictures that I tried to understand but rarely did. It was his idea, I think, for a bunch of us to put on a parade one summer. We made grand costumes and  masks and played flutes and had a ball. He designed a huge Dragon for all the children to be under, walking down the parade route. 

  His parents were both intellectuals, university professors. He had a sister who was pretty much the same. None of them could understand him and the way he chose to live. Once I went with him to visit his folks for a weekend and his mother stifled a small cry as she came into the kitchen to find me reading the paper. "Oh! Sweetheart!  One of Rudy's friends that actually reads the paper!!!"  I remember she gave me 2 garbage bags full of cuttings from her massive garden of succulents. She and her husband tried to convince themselves that I was his girlfriend, the best thing that ever happened to him.

  We have remained friends through these long..what?--35  years now. We don't talk often or long, but we both still know how to find the other one when the need arises. We have long since taken different paths and forged new alliances, but every time I listen to Joni Mitchell's Blue album, I have sweet memories of an old friend. One who helped me in and out of more scrapes than I can count.  One who was there when I needed him most. One who, to this very day, makes me smile at the thought of him. His long hair is gone now, but he still has the same twinkle in his eye that he did when he was in his twenties.

   Namaste.

The changing definition of friendship...

...or maybe it should be...the changing parameters of friendship.  When we were kids, friends were the kids on your street that you played hide and seek with after dark, or the kids you played with at recess or walked home from school. Everybody had a "best" friend, the one you shared all your secrets with and  trusted beyond a doubt. There were cliques, or groups of friends that all hung out together and kept other people out of the circle.They usually centered around some common thing, like cheerleading or chess club or nerds or jocks.  

 As we got older, this changed to a select few friends, more often people you had liked to hang out with, go to movies, or just sit around gabbing and gossiping.  You spent a lot of time with them and they with you. You spent lots of time at each others' houses.  After getting married, this circle of friends began to tighten, until there were only a few people in your circle, because all the rest of the time was so taken up with family stuff. Some of us sacrificed the comfort and love of these friendships because spouses were threatened by the fact that you had another someone in your life that you told things to, or that you enjoyed spending time with.  Sometimes we have moved away, or moved several times, in the pursuit of careers and life changes, and left those friends behind. 

 The older we get, the harder it is to forge these new friendships, partly because  we don't have the time to build those histories with another person. The friends we do make are less entrenched in our lives, and they just don't know us like our old ones did.  Then, because the friendships of this sort are less satisfying to us, we don't work nearly as hard to forge new friendships.  And we are left yearning for the kind of friends we used to know...the ones who never called before they came by, because they were always welcome in our lives.  

  I have lots of friends today of an almost shallow nature...nobody's fault. Many of them I have come to know online, some I have met f2f (face to face) and some I have had long term correspondences with via emails and messenger chats. I know these people too...just in a different way than the woman who lives in town here. Maybe I even know them better sometimes, because talking with someone online is like telling your life story to the guy on a plane that you know you'll never see again, and there's a certain anonymous safety in it which allows us to be maybe more honest, more open.  I also belong to a 12 step program. I have met thousands of people that I still maintain contact with on an irregular basis. Where do they fall on the line of "friendship" ?  We have told one another things about ourselves that our own birth families don't even know about us.  We have cried and laughed and grown, both mentally and spiritually.  I honestly don't consider all these people my friends...but I have a common bond with many of them that allows us to be connected on some level.  That sounds like friendship, in a manner.

  As the world changes, and we evolve with it, I suspect we will find the old definitions changing and the new parameters stretching and flexing and moving in a cosmic dance. Because man is a social creature. We do better in a pack than we do alone. As we learn the dance that suits our particular brand of crazy, we form lasting (or short-term) connections that serve our purpose, to keep us entrenched in the family of man, and not just one frightened soul facing the darkness on his own.

Namaste.

1/1/11...here's to a new start

 Here we stand, at the precipice of a new year, all things bright and shiny. Nablopomo is challenging us to blog on every day in January the subject of "Friends". I resolve to post every day.

   Last night we had our friends and neighbors, Bob and Nancy over for supper. They are wonderful people, the kind you always want to have as friends but often don't.  They are older than we are, although their youngest  daughter and my son went to grade school together. (That only tells you what a late bloomer she was and nymphomaniac I was.)  lol  She and Bob built the beautiful home they live in when their kids were young.  They are both well educated and infinitely compassionate...the kind of persons I have always aspired to be, but rarely am.  And ever since we moved here, she has shown herself to be everything a good neighbor should be. She welcomed us with a pie and their phone numbers. She organized a block party that first summer so that we could meet the other people who live on this road. They have had us to their house on numerous occasions in the five years we have been living here.  We dog sit for each other, we loan books back and forth that we've loved, and  we help each other whenever necessary.

   When the winds knocked down trees and limbs all over their property, my husband was over there helping with the clean-up.  When our little dog ran away while still under the effects of sedation after being spayed, in the middle of January, they were out with floodlights helping us look.  They have invited up to their church and we have gone and enjoyed ourselves immensely. We have hunted mushrooms together and picked blackberries and done all sorts of things that neighbors do. When we have extra eggs from our chickens, they go across the way to their house.  Sometimes I make extra soup or some new recipe for something or other, and I take it to them. She does the same.

  We are watching them pull together like nobody's business as he suffers the debilitating effects of Parkinson's...keeping an eye out for him as he tries to still do things outside that he probably shouldn't,  unable to do more than shuffle sometimes as he tries to walk across the yard. Suffering the side effects of drugs that cause him to sometimes hallucinate, or lose all his motor coordination, or be so disoriented he no longer knows how to get from the shed to the house. It is heartbreaking, and at the same time it is amazingly tender, like the moments where she has to cut up his food and watch him as he tries to feed himself. 

  Man is a social animal...we need each other. We need friends to show us how to get through the good times and the not-so-good times. We need friends to laugh with and cry with, to break bread with,  and sometimes just to ring in a new year...with hopes for a little easier road and with gratitude for the people in our lives who touch our hearts.

Namaste.

Falling leaves

 Geez...this seems to have happened fast.  

  It's very chilly today, not 50 and breezy, with intermittently cloudy skies. I am shuffling around in my flannel pajamas and fuzzy slippers like an old woman. The kittens have gone out and come in a couple of times, they want to be out there but it's just not warm enough for their delicate sensibilities.  The Jack Russell Terrorist is in and sleeping comfortably on the couch.  She's not enamored of the cold either. 

  The leaves are everywhere, rustling and crackling as you step through the yard. I went out (in my robe) and fed the hens and filled the water dishes, and looked at the remains of the gardens--giving up the fight. We have had a couple of soft freezes and they are done in. Fine by me. 

  I have a Caribbean pork stew going. The recipe changes every time I make it, as I use what I have. Today it is loaded with boneless pork chunks, okra, sweet potatoes, edamame, tomatoes and corn.  It smells of ginger and cumin and garlic and onion and the aroma is heavenly. I'm debating making some quick rolls to go with it, but I'd better decide as I have to leave for work in a little over 4 hours. Maybe corn muffins would be good. That would certainly be easier than making yeast rolls.Or really, even biscuits would be good with this...garlic cheddar biscuits, like the ones they serve at Red Lobster. Yum.

  Can you tell I like to eat when the weather turns?  The main thing I love about fall and winter is that I can make soups and stews to my hearts content. The Irishman loves these thick stews like todays, served over rice. They are nutritious with all the veggies from our gardens and they stick to your ribs, as my granny used to say. And don't forget the comfort food side of it...thick, steaming bowls tummy toasting goodness. Not to mention the fact that they reheat well and make a great lunchbox item for  you-know-who.

  I have started NaNoWriMo..written about 4K words so far. That feels pretty good. By the end of today I should have over 5000 written, if I am to stay on a schedule of output to manage the 50K by the end of the month. We'll see what happens. My pattern the last couple of years has been to procrastinate, stall, be obstinate and skip holidays. LOL  Perhaps this year I will do better.  I have, however, bought 2 new books to read, just in case I need to be distracted. I admire the stamina of real writers who enjoy the discipline necessary to stick to goals and work diligently until they finish a manuscript. Last year was the first time I have ever completed anything like this, and I was so full of myself for a while I could barely breathe. 

   Alright, I smell stew that needs a bit of stirring and I shall open my googledocs and get to work. I may have to stop and take a shower and get dressed first. Or not. I feel pretty comfy right now, but I also feel like I could easily go back to sleep. Tomorrow I need to make a coffee beans run to Edwardsville and pick up a couple of things at the local food coop as well. I thought about doing it today, but since husband has to work mandatory OT again tomorrow, I may as well use up the morning doing some shopping. Maybe I can hook up with my friend Cathy and have a little lunch. hmmm...good idea.

  Have a wonderful autumn, all.  Run and jump in the leaves and smell the woodsmoke from your neighbors stoves and remember all the good things in your life. 

Namaste.

Cabbages and Kings...

 This is one of the Stonehead cabbages from my garden.   Someone is nibbling away at the outer leaves of all of them (I have about 8).  Guess I have to do something about that.

  My son and grandson were here this morning, one to fish awhile and one to sit in the house with his granny and watch 2 movies back to back (The Mummy and Return of the Mummy) while she made him waffles because he was "Soooo hungry".  lol  They finally left so that I could get on with things that need doing...a little weeding in the garden,  getting my Mexican potluck dish ready for tonights potluck, and some lunch for me.  I'm debating on whether or not to color my hair, or wait until tomorrow.  I'm going one shade darker this time, to a dark brown. It's my natural color, but I wasn't sure what the grey was going to do, so I went with medium brown the first time. 

  Went out and took some pictures of my garden.  Over the weekend, I got the edamame planted and we finished up putting mulch everywhere and one last cilantro plant. Whew.  Glad it's all finally done.  Here are a few pictures of the progress so far....

Red Pontiac potatoes (and horseradish)

Impromptu herb patch, overseen by my pal Frank...Green beans behind him...

Sweet basil... have about 7 gorgeous plants...

 The wild black raspberries are starting to ripen, and I ate a handful  walking around the yard. They are a little small, but incredibly sweet.

  The lilies are blooming too, we've had so much rain...things are getting nice out there.  The cherry tree has cherries in various stages of ripening that I'm planning to dry this year, and the peach trees are so loaded with fruit that we will have to thin them or they'll break the boughs.  I hate that...it kills me to have to throw away good fruit...lol

  Here is a quick look at some of the flowers...

  Okay...break time is over. I have some friends coming down to go to the potluck with me and I need to be ready when they arrive.

  I am grateful today to have the time and the presence of mind to do things like garden and cook and be accountable.  Living my life in recovery has given me these gifts...and so many more...

  Until next time...

Namaste.

Whoopie Wednesday

  Ah....the perennial Shasta Daisy !!  I love these cheerful pretty flowers. I planted about 3 or 4 patches of them in different places around the back yard. And every year the patches are a little bigger and they are one of the earlier spring bloomers. I have Forrest Gumped my way through planting a yard that is full of flowers that bloom all throughout the growing season, so I always have something in bloom.  These have long graceful stems and are great for flower arrangements too, when I feel the need for a bouquet on my kitchen  table. They don't last terribly long, but I learned an old trick from an elderly woman who said that if you put a teaspoon of sugar and 2 teaspoons of white vinegar into your cut flower water it will keep them longer. And by golly, it does help. (You can click on this picture for an even better look at these babies...)

  I spent yesterday doing all kinds of odds and ends around here and never got here to blog. I weeded the garden some,  cleaned the chicken coops, scrubbed my front porch furniture (a birdhouse table and 2 rocking chairs)

                                                              [Click on pic to enlarge]

 They get incredibly dirty through the winter, with muddy animals jumping on them and general weather wreaking havoc.  I potted 4 red and white geraniums mixed up in a couple of pots and I potted several red and white petunias in a big old enamel chamber pot to sit on the back deck.  I got them at my friend Dolly's plant sale. When I went there, she was nowhere to be found (It's in her garage and driveway), I assumed she was in the house, I shopped and browsed and picked out my plants--4 geraniums, 4 petunias, 2 coleus and a beautiful anise hyssop--all for 10 dollars.  I may go back today...When I had added up[ my purchases, I sat down at her little table and wrote her a note..put the 10 dollars down and carried my stuff to the car. It suddenly occurred to me that I had been there quite a while and there was still no sign of her. I was a little worried and went up and pounded on the front door. After a bit of pounding (I was ready to call her sister) she showed up at the door, looking a little bleary and said--Oh hell...I must have fallen asleep!!  It was hotter than blue blazes yesterday and business was slow and she had gone in to the air conditioning for a drink of water and a sit.  lol  We sat outside and talked and suddenly it was 2 hours later and I had to go.

  Coming home I circled through town to where my son has been working on his father-in-laws garage...lordy, he was out there in that heat and humidity working trying to finish up. He looked terrible...I guess he got it finished...he told me that his grandmothers husband had died yesterday...keeled over working in his wife's sisters garden.  A massive heart attack that was swift and merciful. He was a very active man, and they were both in their early 80's when they married after she was widowed. Married 6 years, my son said his grandmother is very philosophical about it all, and is holding up well. He said the first thing she said was" 6 years wasn't long enough, but at least he didn't have to be sick or laid up a long time". Her first husband was sick for years and she took care of the mean little man until the end.  She seemed so very happy to have found love in the later years of her life, and she is a jolly sweet woman anyway.  Godspeed, Kenny...and God bless you, Ruth.

  BY the time I made an easy supper of bbq'd country ribs and corn on the cob and we ate I was bushed. The humidity really zaps my energy, even tho the temps were only 90.

  I need to get out there and get some straw down, but I have to go to the recovery home today and that will eat up my morning and afternoon. I'm stopping by for some groceries and animal feed on my way home from there, and so maybe if the storms don't come I can get out there this evening.  We're eating leftover black bean enchiladas for supper.

  BTW--that potluck dish I made??  Turned out wonderfully.  I made a mixture of finely chopped onion and bell pepper, small diced partially cooked (microwaved) sweet potato, black beans, frozen corn, diced tomatoes and salsa. Didn't really need any seasoning because of the  salsa. I used corn tortillas that I microwaved to soften (Instead of the traditional oil cooking).  I smeared some enchilada sauce in the bottom of the baking dish and proceeded to fill the torillas with a swipe of enchilada sauce, the filling and a sprinkle of shredded cheese.  Rolled them up and placed them seam side down in the pan. Topped it all with more enchilada sauce, a little salsa and some sliced black olives and cheese and diced onion. Baked at 300 degrees for about half an hour. They were DE-LISH!!!!

  Okay--better get dressed and ready to hit my day...I have to leave the house by 1045 and it's after 9 now...

  Have a serene day, all y'all....

  Namaste.

A Two-derful Tuesday (That's One-derful times two...)

 This is Merlin. Or, as he is affectionately known,  Merrman the Purrman.  It's the little jazz kitty, all grown up... He is by far one of the most laid back cats we have ever had, and that's saying a LOT!  lol  He's quite a literary cat, and anytime he sees a book or magazine laying on a table, he's all over it. Literally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Ah...it was a gorgeous day here on the Prairie. About 70 degrees and sunny and I had a girlfriend over for lunch and made quiche and salads. Afterwards we sat out on the front porch in the big green rocking chairs and soaked up the sunshine. It was a delightful day. I got up real early this morning and got the office finished up, cleaned house a little and mopped the wood floors. I spruced things up a bit...new tablecloth on the table, burned some sandalwood incense, and opened the windows all up again. I took care of the neighbors dogs for the last time (they came home today) and even found time for some meditation and prayer here in my newly organized and born again office. lol

  My friend and I walked around the yard and took note of all the greening up that is going on.  Even the Japanese maple has  buds on it already. Typically, she oohed and ahhed over everything and all I could see was all the work I haven't done yet and need to get busy on. I'm really looking forward to my yards this year, even though it is a lot of work,. it's good work.  Soul food.

  It must be spring...I have ants in the bathroom!!!!  lol

  Oh yeah, DJan.  ES&H is Experience, Strength and Hope. I forgot that you had asked!

I'm ready to hit the hay. Tomorrow we are carpooling up to the recovery house for the womens meeting, and then I have to be back and at physical therapy by 3:45. After that, a bunch of women are gathering at one's house to watch The Secret.  I've told the Irishman that I will likely be gone before he gets home from work, so he's on his own. I'm really looking forward to meeting some new friends and catching up with old ones.  And of course, we'll be eating.  lol

  I'm planning to get some baby chicks this week...Will keep them in the house until they're big enough to hold their own out there in the henhouse.  I'm excited. I love baby chicks...no rooster this time though...he was way more hassle than he was worth.

   Count your blessings...and make gratitude a gift you choose every day!!

Namaste.


 

Sunday January 17, 2010

A beautiful Sunday, almost finished. We slept in, skipped the morning meeting, attended an afternoon District Meeting, came home and made supper. The weather wasn't particularly great, although it was pretty warm. Been very grey and foggy the past 3 days.

We had a nice dinner and watched Sean Penn's movie of "Into the Wild". It's a movie that is, by turns, heartbreaking and hopeful. It's the story of the young man Chris McCandless that trekked around the country, winding up in the wilds of Alaska, where he ultimatley died of starvation. It was very well done and a grim story for this mother. After I got sober, probably the first 2 years, my son decided he was going to live the life of a nomad and live off the land. I didn't know where he was for months at a time, and didn't know if he was alive or dead. When he would surface, he would be so skinny and dirty, it made me cry. It was horrible, and watching this movie awakened those old feelings of helplessness and fear in me. As I watched the end of the movie, all I could think was, this could have happened to him. I could so easily have lost him back then...and I cried like a baby. Whew! I am so glad those days are behind me...


Not much on the docket for tomorrow...a languine day of laundry and reading, as I have received my copy of Julia Child's "My Life in France", and cannot wait to start reading it. It has been so warm here the past few days that all the snow is melting and the whole place is a giant mud bowl. The dogs (and cats!!) are tracking in mud everywhere and try as I might, I cannot keep it cleaned up. So I'll stop that in short order. I can deal with this...I can deal with this... lol


Finished reading the demons and guardians trilogy yesterday. It wasn't bad, mostly. Glad it's done though, so I don't have to keep making excuses for reading it. LMAO!!!


Think I'll go get a turkey breast out of the freezer to thaw so I can cook it tomorrow. That'll give me some leftovers for sandwiches too, which is always a good thing.Or maybe a pork roast. Hmmm...decisions, decisions.


Tomorrow is the observance of Dr. King's birthday, which means no mail, no banks, no government offices open. WooHoo!!


Several of my friends have offered to come by when I have the surgery a week from Wednesday and help me out around the house. Wow. That's some awesome stuff, there. I'm grateful for women friends who are always there when you need them.



Okay then. I'm off to bed. Prayers for Haiti and sending blessings of comfort and peace to all the victims of the quake.



Namaste.

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Friends...
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I'm so blessed to have friends today, and they're almost all the "good" kind of friends. Not the kind I used to have, the ones who were always there for you as long as you were buying the next round. The ones who were there when they needed something from you (which was usually the case). I'm talking about the kind of friends that are there when you're hurting, and are there when you need them, no matter what time of day or night. The ones who care about you, even when you're not at your best. Or maybe it's ESPECIALLY when you're not at your best. People in my life that I don't have to lie to, or worry about what they think of me. The kind who love me just as I am, warts and all. The kind who love me even when I'm acting like an ass.


I guess what brought this on was a conversation I had today wiith someone who has no friends except the people he drinks with. He has no self esteem, no identity apart from partying, and no self respect left. He has started lying about everything all the time, and it breaks my heart. I know he's in a lot of pain, and yet he refuses to even consider that there might be another way to live. And today I had to give him the old spiel...the one about I only care if I don't drink. I don't have any business with what you do. The one about, if you aren't finished drinking, then you're wasting your time here. And as brutal as it sounds, it's the truth and we all know it. Each and every one of us has to drink until there's no reason to drink anymore. And then we can set aside our perceptions and misconceptions about sobriety, and open our minds that tiny crack to let the willingness in. Be beaten up enough to let the hand of AA reach out to us and to grab on for dear life. And some of us grab it and many of us don't. And that's just how it is. No one an get any one else sober...each of us has to make the choice to not pick up that drink. I'm so grateful to have gotten sober in a place where they hammered into me in the beginning...JUST DON'T DRINK! NO matter what, we have to want to be sober more than we want to be drunk. And if we can't find that, we are not done. Period.

But as for me, I am grateful to be past that awful first year of not drinking, no matter what. And into the part where it doesn't even occur to me...not even when my ass is falling off. lol

And I'm grateful to have people in my life who support me and this decision not to drink. They not only support me, they love me. And I am happy. And for the first time in my life, I like being me. I don't fantasize about being you. I don't constantly wish I was someone and somewhere else.

And life is a dance.....


Namaste.

Stunning Sunday

A stellar day all round....Sean Penn took home the Oscar for his portrayal of Harvey Milk. Slumdog Millionaire took away the most awards. And the gorgeous and talented Kate Winslet won Best Actress for The Reader.

Annie Kelley had a most relaxing and easy going day. lol

The neighbor dogs that we are caring for are getting very impatient fo9r their mom and dad to get home. They arrive on Tuesday, so it won't be much longer. We play with them and pet them when we're there to feed them, and even go over a little extra just to love them up a little. But you can tell they're missing them. The longest we've been away from ours is a week. And that is hard. We have cats and dogs and chickens that need feeding daily. And I miss my pets a lot when we go away.

A dear friend of mine was injured in a sailing accident this morning down in Key West. He was rescued by a passerby and the Coast Guard was called. He will be okay, but it was a scare. He had other plans for this week that he is having to cancel, which is terribly disappointing for him. I am just glad he's okay....

Life is precious and a fragile gift. Blessings flow through us and gratitude speaks volumes. I hope that I never forget these things.

It's time for some much needed rest, and I am going to bed grateful for the people I love. Grateful for the people I don't. Grateful for every life lesson that comes down the pike.

Elegant blessings, flowing through me like a fountain. Changing my life and touching the lives of those around me. A great arc of energy and love that showers all who pass close by. This is what I hope for, anyway. Like the rings emanting from the pebble skipped across the water, ever widening the circles of my life.

Sweet dreams...

Super Bowel Sunday

This is mama Lily, with the little yellow Frank and his brother Sam.
(Are you catching my drift here....)

[This is Frank. Frankie. Frankie Figs., about 2 years after the first photo]

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I have been AWOL for the weekend. I'm not talking.

We did go to the neighbors today for a lasagna dinner and to watch the Super Bowl. We had a grand time. They were worried that their wine and the other neighbor's beer would be a problem for us since they knew we didn't drink. (They don't know any particulars...just that we don't drink). We told them of course not. It was a good time and good friends and we even met a new couple who have been friends of our neighbors for 25 years.

I am so tired and don't have much to say, though I do have MUCH to be grateul for.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be back on track.

...you never know...

Nitey-nite.

And to go with my pictures..

"The trouble with a kitten is THAT,

Eventually, it becomes a CAT."

~~Ogden Nash