Oh, what a day it's been. Got lots of house keeping stuff done and laundry and all sorts of minor and meaningful chores. And a couple of (ahem) interesting phone calls.
There's a guy here locally who is a chronic relapser, just moved to the area. He has a cousin here. Anyway, this guy's been hitting on and using up all kinds of newcomers. He charms 'em and manipulates his way into their homes and their cars and their drawers. He's been here about 4 months, I think and he's relapsed twice. (I know, it's shocking). Anyway, I had just told one of my sponsees who was getting drawn into his web to "Be Careful" when she confided one day that she was driving him places, and he calls her cell or texts her constantly. I explained to her that my observation of his behavior was the same as that of his cousin, who is long time sober and has a nasty habit of hanging out with all these young girl newcomers in the program. It's disturbing to me and when I first moved here it made me crazy. I said, he's developing his "harem" and it will take you down. (He had already been in the home of one of my sponsees who was sober long enough to know better...she couldn't hardly get him out once the bloom was off the rose.) I have been working with her since she firat got sober. I really do not want to see her drunk.
To make a long story short, the roomie of my sponsee was one of the other girls he called several times a day. He called her to say goodnight, and actually said the words "You're the last one of my harem I'm calling for the night..." Well, you can imagine the rest. My sponsee calls me, all hysterical and saying oh, my god--you were so right , blah blah blah...and her roomie calls her sponsor (who is one of my sponsees) and the gist of it is, SHE goes to a meeting and confronts him about his behavior and now ther sparks are flying. I'm LMAO...nobody seems to think it's as funny as I do. Anyway, tonight after she got off work, mine calls and says he's been texting her all night, he called her at work and was screaming at her...he hates me and he hates the other and he hates another (all sponsors of these girls)...and how he talked to his sponsor , who (he says) told him, "don't worry, you did nothing wrong, you're just paying for THEIR problems"...and oh-my-gawd. The confronter says all she said to him was very casually "So..I understand you think you have a harem?" This boy has his panties all in a wad...and is screaming at anyone who'll listen apparently. Amazingly enough...he has not called ME. LOL
OH...dear. The fun just keeps on coming...
I'm grateful tonight for oldtimers who were very clear about a few inportant things when I first got sober.
I'm grateful to not be 25 or 30 years old anymore.
I'm grateful to have babies who sometimes listen.
I'm so very grateful that my self esteem isn't contingent on anyone else today.
I'm blessed that I got to survive my own early sobriety long enough to actually get this way.
I'm really blessed to have a sense of humour. I'm meeting my sponsee (the confronter) at a noon meeting tomorrow where this guy will probably be. I can't wait...
I'm grateful to have this blog where I can put things out there and have a look at them from a bit of a different perspective.