Manic Monday

It's been one of THESE kind of days....

LOL.

I have a very sick kitty who is going to the vet tomorrow, and in the meantime I am cleaning up puke everywhere. Little bits of it, everywhere. And she is miserable and cranky and just generally yucky.

I have a husband who spent the end of this evening on my very last nerve. THE very last one. He emptied the dog food container without telling me, he ran the car almost out of gas, so when I had to go out at 10 PM to find dog food, I had to also gas up the car first, in 23 degree weather. My back is hurting, and this cold is nailing me to the wall. Of course, HE can't go get dog food, he needs to get to bed. No matter that I am also getting up at 5 AM to keep the car so I can take the cat to the vet.

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, all the way to the town (10 miles away) where there is someplace open that I can buy dogfood, I am counting to ten and meditating some and trying to listen to some beautiful music on our local jazz station. I am trying to talk myself out of this icky pissy place. On the way home, I have to come to a complete stop and let about 2 dozen deer make their way across the road, from one cornfield to the next soybean field. And as I watch them carefully step and prance, I am reminded that there is a lot of beauty in the world, and a lot to be extremely grateful for tonight. I am reminded in those few moments that I do love that man, flaws and all, and that most of the time he is considerate and loving and kind. And that I am tired and hurting and over-reacting to all this.

The Voluntary Simplicity class started tonight. It was good. There are about 10 people in the class, all of us different and unique and bringing a new perspective to the table. It was pretty awesome listening to everyone sharing their stories and ideas.

Grateful too for blogging, which helps me gain perspective and stretch my wings and fly.

Grateful for that big old bed I'm about to climb into!

Namaste.

Twoderful Tuesday

[ Home sweet Home....]

Oh, what a day it's been. Got lots of house keeping stuff done and laundry and all sorts of minor and meaningful chores. And a couple of (ahem) interesting phone calls.

There's a guy here locally who is a chronic relapser, just moved to the area. He has a cousin here. Anyway, this guy's been hitting on and using up all kinds of newcomers. He charms 'em and manipulates his way into their homes and their cars and their drawers. He's been here about 4 months, I think and he's relapsed twice. (I know, it's shocking). Anyway, I had just told one of my sponsees who was getting drawn into his web to "Be Careful" when she confided one day that she was driving him places, and he calls her cell or texts her constantly. I explained to her that my observation of his behavior was the same as that of his cousin, who is long time sober and has a nasty habit of hanging out with all these young girl newcomers in the program. It's disturbing to me and when I first moved here it made me crazy. I said, he's developing his "harem" and it will take you down. (He had already been in the home of one of my sponsees who was sober long enough to know better...she couldn't hardly get him out once the bloom was off the rose.) I have been working with her since she firat got sober. I really do not want to see her drunk.

To make a long story short, the roomie of my sponsee was one of the other girls he called several times a day. He called her to say goodnight, and actually said the words "You're the last one of my harem I'm calling for the night..." Well, you can imagine the rest. My sponsee calls me, all hysterical and saying oh, my god--you were so right , blah blah blah...and her roomie calls her sponsor (who is one of my sponsees) and the gist of it is, SHE goes to a meeting and confronts him about his behavior and now ther sparks are flying. I'm LMAO...nobody seems to think it's as funny as I do. Anyway, tonight after she got off work, mine calls and says he's been texting her all night, he called her at work and was screaming at her...he hates me and he hates the other and he hates another (all sponsors of these girls)...and how he talked to his sponsor , who (he says) told him, "don't worry, you did nothing wrong, you're just paying for THEIR problems"...and oh-my-gawd. The confronter says all she said to him was very casually "So..I understand you think you have a harem?" This boy has his panties all in a wad...and is screaming at anyone who'll listen apparently. Amazingly enough...he has not called ME. LOL

OH...dear. The fun just keeps on coming...

I'm grateful tonight for oldtimers who were very clear about a few inportant things when I first got sober.

I'm grateful to not be 25 or 30 years old anymore.

I'm grateful to have babies who sometimes listen.

I'm so very grateful that my self esteem isn't contingent on anyone else today.

I'm blessed that I got to survive my own early sobriety long enough to actually get this way.

I'm really blessed to have a sense of humour. I'm meeting my sponsee (the confronter) at a noon meeting tomorrow where this guy will probably be. I can't wait...

I'm grateful to have this blog where I can put things out there and have a look at them from a bit of a different perspective.

Nighty night.

Namaste.