Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tuesday's Monday...

[The long road home....]

Just could not manage to post last night, even though (as you can imagine) I had a lot to say. LOL

It was a day of mixed emotions, as one of our members was found dead in his apartment. Fully clothed, in the bathtub. Neck broken, from a fall apparently. This guy was one of the beloved "characters" around here. Came around the rooms for years and could never get this thing. Finally got dry and stayed that way for almost 3 years, when he relapsed once again at Christmas time. That was his one chance, I guess. He could never get sober again. He had just come out of a VA rehab and was drunk again within hours. I hope he didn't suffer...he lived alone and I don't know how long it was before someone found him. On the other hand, the fight is over for him. RIP.

I am blessed that I knew this guy, in his better moments he was a shining example of how anyone can get sober if they just don't quit trying. He was also a shining example of what happens when we think we can try it one more time.

I am blessed that I had my last drink in June of 1990 and have not found it necessary to do any more research into the deadly game of alcoholism so far.

I am blessed to be a part of something bigger than me, that gives me hope.

We had a wet drunk in the meeting yesterday, and I got one more bird's eye view of ME when I first darkened the doors of AA.

Full of gratitude from a preview of life in the drunk lane...and the knowledge that I don't ever have to drink again if I don't want to. So, I have to keep doing the simple things that keep making me not wa nt to.



Pam said...

Its amazing the things we alcoholics can find genuine gratitude in isn't it?

PS: word verification-death

Anonymous said...

I'm still very close to my drinking days and I get this sense of horror when I hear somebody else has given up the fight.

Annie I still recall the morning I sat down at my pc and saw your email telling me SG had died after going on her final bender. My entire view of online relationships changed that day. Death is so real and dying of drink is so close to each one of us.

Love you


Zanejabbers said...

Oh so sorry that the guy died like he did. Just one more day in the fast drunk lane - that says it all.
Oh, and hi there Akannie.

paxaa said...

Sorry to hear of another one bites the dust. All too common as we all know.

Yes, keep doing the simple things, like do not drink, no matter what is going on or what the committee in the head is saying. Sometimes that was all I could do.

Is that Detour Road? Sure looks like it.



Akannie said...

Thanks everyone...and yes, Pam, it is amazing. And it is horrifying, Mary...but it sure brings it home to me and helps keep it all so real. I got an email from SG's account the other day...it stopped me dead in my tracks! It was her husband...

HI to you too, Zane! And it's true....it's where we can so easily go.

Andrew, yes siree...it is indeed Detour Road...looking west (?) out of my driveway. Good eye. *wink