Monday, June 13, 2011

Rainy days and Mondays

 Years ago (and I'm sure I still have it somewhere, tucked away in a box or an old book)  I had a fortune cookie fortune that read  "THERE IS NO FAILURE: ONLY LESSONS."  I try to carry that in my heart all the time. It changes my attitude, it calms my anxiety, and it gives me the courage to try new things. Sometimes things work, and sometimes they don't. And then you just move on to the next thing. (And those are my inspirational words for the day!  LOL)

  It has been a busy weekend and I am tired. MissB wound up in the ER last night, her blood quantities are very low, which means that she's bleeding somewhere, but she says she's never felt better.  lol  When the ambulance was on it's way, she said--get my comb and lipstick. I never leave the house without my lipstick on !! lol  She's in the ICU and getting transfusions last night and today.  I think she's only in the ICU because she's 82 and they want her constantly monitored. And what the hell--it costs more.   (I know, I know...I am a bit jaded when it comes to the medical systems in this country). It all happened right after my shift...she hadn't been feeling well, but wasn't anything that hasn't been going on for a few days...tired and aching and pain in her hip. She suddenly started having severe cramping of her legs..and she went. A good thing they did.

  The Irishman and I had a lovely Chinese dinner out for our anniversary. We were going to make the drive down for the Thai but decided that we need to watch our $$ a little since it cost over 400 dollars to fix my car on Thursday. I nearly fainted. That brings the grand total for car/truck repairs in the past 3 weeks to over 700 dollars.  He has a family reunion in Wisconsin to go to the end of the month and so we just made the 17 mile drive to Edwardsville for some good food.  The Thai restraunt is almost 50 miles away.

  Sunday I went to a meeting in the morning and helped a dear friend celebrate 37 years of sobriety...I was 37 when I got sober. And I announced that it was my 21st birthday yesterday as well and that I was glad to be there. Alcoholics are a giddy lot once they stop drinking.  lol  It's not about the booze. I suspect that even when we're still drunk, we know it's not about the booze. It's that second chance, it's overs, it's one more reprieve.  To try and right the wrongs and relearn things and maybe hell, even learn things for the first time. To look at and admit my part in all the things that went wrong in my life, and stop blaming anyone else (or the whole world) for all the bad things that came down the pipe. To learn to form partnerships with other people.  To understand that we're not alone, that there's a different way to do everything if we'll just give it a try. Without the liquid courage.  To stand in the sunlight after being held prisoner by the bottle for so many years...when the only solution I had/knew for anything was to get drunk, to get high, to obliterate any shred of fear I had.  At least that's what I thought.  And all that has changed. And it started to change quickly, thank goodness. Or now, 21 years later, I probably would be dead.

  I need to be working on the canning booklet/instructions/reading list for my upcoming workshop, but I've been procrastinating like crazy. Not sure why...want to chalk it up to LAZY. But, this time of year is always so busy with getting the gardens in and everything that goes with it. Maybe BUSY is better than LAZY ???  lol

  Okay...I am going out to lunch today with a friend and have to stop by MissB's and take some Kibbles and Bits over to her neighbor who is dogsitting. She called this morning saying she is worried...the little guy is not eating anything...I'll go by and see him and sit for a minute before I head for lunch.

  Maybe I'll get some work done on the booklet today too. At least get it started so I don't feel like such a wank. I need to go look in the freezer and find something to make for supper that isn't chicken.
Then I'll quickly shower and get on the road. It's almost 10 o'clock now, so it is time to get a move on.

  Have a loverly day y'all.




Kristin H. said...

Happy soberversary, dear girl! You are indeed an inspiration :)

And in response to your comment: I'm the brownie girl. Doesn't matter what meeting I'm going to. Doesn't even matter if I've been to that meeting before. I bring 'em anyway! So far, no one has told me to stop ;)

Have a great day.

Akannie said...


Imagine. No one turning you away because of brownies.

Love ya!!

Rita said...

Wow! 21 years--congrats!! And congrats to your friend with 37!! :)

Learning that everything in life has a positive lesson took me a long time to learn. Sometimes we don't discover what that good lesson was for years, but when you look back...bazinga! ;)

I'm new to your blog so I don't know who MissB is but she sounds like one spunky lady!

As far as the Chinese dinner--sometimes we have to be practical. Especially when our vehicles are emptying our pockets--hehe!

I hope the little guy will eat something. Have a super day!! :):)

Steve E said...

SURE glad to visit here and blend my wishes with others also, to wish you Happy Anniversary, Annie.

When I saw you and you were 18 years sober--I thought that was your AGE! (Hey, why did my nose just grow out another half-inch?--grin!)

Take care, sweet Peeps!

DJan said...

yes, Happy 21st birthday, Annie. That is quite a milestone. And looking toward the future ones, too. My guy has been 25 years sober now, and I am so proud of him, too... :-)

Sounds like you need to get some rest!

Andrew said...

All the very best to you dear one.

Mary LA said...

I've said it elsewhere but congrats on 21 years Annie, you are such anamazing woamn and a great friend.

Akannie said...

Thanks all...
Steve, I was thinking about you playing HB to me on your violin when I woke up Sunday morning!

Rita--It really is all about perspective and attitude, isn't it?
So glad you're coming by here...

DJan--you're a lucky girl. And he's a lucky lucky guy!

Andrew, I love you too.

Mary--We are such kindred spirits, and I wish I could drop by for will never ever know how much you mean to me.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Oh happy soberthday! I love to read your blogs, they always reflect a very full life :)