Mothers Day Sunday

Today I watched in fascination as people who were out and about celebrated a day set aside to honor their moms. There were little girls all dressed up carrying presents with ribbons streaming. There were young men standing in line buying hanging baskets full of colorful petunias and begonias and all sort and sundry flower combinations. There were young girls with babies on their hips, obviously enjoying their very first holiday. The restaurants were all filled to capacity.

All this for the women who gave us life. Who attended to our every need and whim for a whole lot of years. Who [hopefully] guided us and taught us and encouraged us. Seems like a small payment in return for a lifetime of service. lol

I have cried through a lot of Mothers Days in my time...either because of the situation with my own son or because of the loss of my own mother. It's one of those holidays that for me was always a double edged sword.

The past decade or so has seen a big change in my Mothers day, although it's surely never been as bad as I seem to remember. Mostly me, getting carried away in an emotional typhoon...

I'm blessed today to have a relationship with that son. A good relationship. And never mind that I don't get to see him as often as I would like...the time we do spend together is quality time, and I am seriously grateful for that. And I know I have AA to thank for it.

I'm blessed to have made peace with and forgiven my long dead alcoholic mother. Again--I have AA to thank for that.

I'm blessed to have a husband of 17 years who said to me one Mothers day, way back...I wish you were the mother of my children. (He has none). A husband who said to me a couple of days ago, Do I need to call your son and remind him it's MD ? I met this boy in an AA meeting and fell instantly head over heels in love with him. No wonder....

I realize that every thing good in my life is thanks to this blueprint for living we get in this Alcoholics Anonymous program. I thank my Creator and I thank you, all the members of these 12 Step Groups everywhere, for teaching me that I was lovable, and that I could repair the relationships in my life, and that I never had to live like that ever again...If I didn't want to. You truly loved me until I could love myself, and you took this drunk by the hand and walked her through her life, saying "If you want what we have, then do what we did." And by that grace that saves us all, I haven't had to pour booze into this hole in my face for a really long time.

Thank you for my life.


Namaste.

[Maureen-in yellow shirt]

I just got word that my old sponsor from North Carolina died this afternoon of a brain hemorrhage. She collapsed and never regained consciousness. Originally from New York, she was old school AA all the way. I believe that she had about 38 years in the program now.

She probably knew me better than anyone has ever or will ever know me. She guided me through some tough times with her wise and gentle sobriety. From the first time I met her, I wanted what she had. And she was surely the best example I have ever seen of giving back what has been so freely given...

I sit here with tears of grief and gratitude all mixed up together. I was truly blessed to have been a part of her life and to have her as part of mine. Since we had no family there, we spent many a holiday at their house and always felt like part of their big Irish Catholic family. She made the best NY Cheesecake I have ever eaten. And her Irish Soda Bread was outta this world.

They had a huge blended family, both of them in recovery when they first met and married, both widowed, he with 5 kids, her with 6 kids and then they had a baby together.

I am grateful for the women in AA who have shown me how to be a wife and mother and sister ...and especially, there will always be a piece of my heart that belongs only to this wonderful woman that I met at 6 years sober, who walked me through my marriage, through the industrial accident and medicating that happened as a result of that, and through each step of my sobriety for almost 9 years.

Rest in Peace, you angel....your journey takes you on new roads now...


Namaste.

A Satiated Saturday

[A Japanese Garden in Decatur.]


Too blessed to be Stressed.

~~So grateful for:

*A cozy evening at home with my husband
*A full stomach
*Windchimes on my porch that are tuned to the key of D
*Getting to listen to 2 relapsers who were struck drunk yesterday
*Knowing that if I do a few simple things, it won't have to happen to me
*The planning stages of the spring Gathering in June
*1 week old kittens who are fat as a tick
*The sunsets we have been enjoying, all purple and red and gold
*The awesome creation I see all around me
*Friends (You know who you are!)
*Being able to live, love and laugh
*For a nice soft bed to jump into--NOW!

Namaste.