Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Funny how the world just keeps on going, when my heart is broken

 Grateful for a lot of things.  Grateful that the world keeps on and that my broken heart is a sure sign of a healthy  emotional life.  It's easy to forget that loving and losing and grieving are signs of a healthy life. Bella is still looking for Roxie, and every night she goes to where Roxie's bed was and sniffs around and finally lays right over the spot. In the evening when I aqm in here on the computer, she comes in and lays on the very spot where Roxie died.  And when she does these things, it makes me cry. The other two dogs are a little depressed, but Bella is the one most affected I think. Well, Bella and I...

  I don't want it to sound like I am sitting around crying all the time, because I'm not.  BUt every now and again, I get a sharp stab of pain...knowing I'll never see her again.  Thinking I hear her coming down the hall.  Just too soon gone...and isn't that how it is ?


  This morning I thought I wanted split pea soup. Wouldn't you know that there is every type of bean on God's earth in this house except split peas ?  LOL  I planned to get out and run some errands anyway, because we are spiraling back into winter weather after  3 days that were 50 or above. They've predicted snow and I was down to about enough Sumatran beans to make another 2 pots of coffee. ALERT!!WARNING WARNING !! Cannot run out of coffee beans.  LOL

  So, I bought 6 bags of split peas and thought I'd fix that for supper, when I realized that I have 5 avocados on the counter that are going to be overripe in about 20 minutes. So...instead of split pea soup tonight, we are having chicken nachos, with beans, chilies, cheese, salsa, black olives, onions, sour cream and guacamole. The local market had a big meat sale going on, so I bought a family pack of chicken thighs. I froze  most of them and put 5 in the oven to bake. I'll pull the meat off and top the nachos with them. Fun, filling food to eat with our fingers while we watch television.

 But dammit, tomorrow I'm fixing split pea soup !!


  The temps were at 51 this morning around  9 AM...around 11 started falling rapidly and it's now windy, spitting snow and 30 degrees. Heading for 22 apparently. I can hear the wind howling out there. Last night we had temps in the 70's and tornado warnings and high winds and thunderstorms.  It's bizarre.

   The house is cozy, and the smell of baked chicken permeates everything.  I still have some leftover peach/pear cobbler from the weekend , so dessert is taken care of, if we should need any.  I've been kinda hungry for something chocolate though, so tomorrow I might bake some cream cheese brownies. Have to see how I feel.

  The Irishman will be home in about 45 minutes, so I guess I'd better get in there and get busy. Gotta open a jar of home canned pinto beans and season those up a little with some garlic, onions and cumin and green chilies.  Then I'll load up the big baking pan with chips and beans and chicken and cheese. Into the oven, and when it comes out all the other stuff goes on top. Gotta get the guac made too.

  Happy Hump Day, everyone.

  Thank you all for your love and support--it has meant the world to me.




Mariodacatsmom said...

Aww dear friend, my heart is heavy for you with missing your dear pet. I know how it is. HUGS - it will get better in time, but never go away totally. Winter returned here too - 10 inches of snow today. Ugh!

Beth said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers Annie!!


Cloudia said...

those who feel strongly, and love strongly, feel great pain in loss. . . . my heart is with you; and yes - it does get better in time

Happy Aloha
from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
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DJan said...

That little picture about pieces of your heart is so true. I cried when I read it out loud to my sister. I know you will get better, but Roxie the Doxie was special to a lot of people, not just you, and I'll miss her too.

Life does go on after we lose loved ones, but it has to move quite a ways on before the hurt is healed. Thinking of you and sending you love.

Teresa Evangeline said...

What perfect beings dogs are. Their sensitivity is astounding. They have so much to teach us.

Buttons said...

Oh I am so sorry about Roxie I know that must be so hard.Thinking of you. HUG.

Split pea soup, I love that. Weather weather I have no idea what it will be doing next.
My camera was a Canon Powershot too.
Take care and give yourself time to grieve. B

momto8blog said...

Oh dear...I can feel your pain. when we lost our Bella, the house was still and silent for one even felt like talking or doing anything..we just moped...
I came here from beths blog and am now your newest follower...pls follow back if you can.
I made bum soup today...that is the left overs from mon tues and wed in one big pot!

Mama Pea said...

I know it doesn't feel like it, but as time goes on the hurt will lessen and you'll begin smiling when you remember all the good Roxie memories. I don't think dogs mourn the way we do, but there's no doubt they know something is out of kilter.

I "heard" our dog's feet tritzing through the house for months after she died. Ya gotta wonder if it was all in my head or might it have been her spirit still with us. I choose the latter. :o)