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It's been a long day today, for some reason. It's only 10 PM and I feel like I have been awake for a hundred hours. Didn't do much today besides tend critters and vacuum and clean the big bathroom. And finish reading the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy. And lay around. Just kinda tired today...
Got a call from my sister, telling me that my niece (who lost a baby over a year ago) had a sonogram today. It's a boy, it's big, it's healthy. Good news for everyone concerned.
It was crisp and chilly today...enough to make you put on a coat and gloves when you ventured out. Tomorrow is slated for the low 50's and Saturday for the mid 50's. Then all hell is gonna break loose, and all next week will have highs around 20. I keep forgetting it's mid January...
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Feeling a little low. Mary Moon's mother died yesterday, and reading her blog has stirred up all kinds of memories and feelings about the death of my own mother, 33 years ago. Wow. 33 years ago. I was 27...certainly too young to deal with the death of a mother I had such a hard life with...but, maybe you're never old enough. At any rate, I have been thinking about it all day, and that's probably part of the reason for my tiredness as well. Nothing that can be changed. And I always think it should be less traumatic by now, and I guess it is, a little. But it's still a strong memory and it still affects me in ways that surprise me. Even now, after all these years. And I think, I am tired of death, of people dying, of the scars that it leaves on my heart. Of course, that's foolish...everything and everyone dies sometime. But the gamut of emotions is exhausting...sick people die, and it's a blessing. Babies die, and it's a travesty. Old people die, and it's their time. And it's mysterious and it's frightening and it's a relief and it's inevitable. But all in all, we feel like we are such victims of a fickle fate. Because we can't control it..and we are a people who SO like to control things.
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Anyway....
Tomorrow I am calling and making an appointment with a place called Riverbend Physical Medicine. They are a medical/chiropractic/wellness group that I have been researching, and hopefully they can help me with these problems I'm having. Pain, neuropathy, severely stiff joints. Weight gain (again). I have dragged my feet long enough...it's getting to the point where I am crying from pain sometimes. It's ridiculous. They take Medicare and I have no supplemental insurance, so hopefully they won't laugh me out the door. And hopefully I won't go bankrupt trying to get this taken care of.
Then I have a date at noon with a friend to hit a meeting. I need one. lol
Saturday I have a friend coming out for lunch. That will be nice, especially as the day is supposed to be in the mid 50's. Not sure what I'll make...probably some french onion soup and salad. Easy enough. Whatever I make she will appreciate. It will be good, spending time with women I care about. I've been home, in my head, for a little too long. I'm still not completely over this bug, and the nightime coughing gets a little icky. I've been putting Vicks on my chest and throat before bed, and that helps a lot. Arrgghhh...I wish it would just go away, but that doesn't seem to be the nature of this beast.
Alright. It's almost 11 PM, so I can go to bed now. lol My son stopped in after work to tell me that he didn't get the little house in the country he was hoping for. I managed to not jump up and down cheering. lol It won't be long before he will be going though, I can feel it. It's right. I know that. But I sure love having him here.....even though I don't see him everyday.
Sweet dreams, friends.
Namaste.
4 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with so much pain, my dear one. I had a severe summer bronchitis for more than two months, had tests for tuberculosis (I live in rural Africa where this is still prevalent) and that fever and coughing just wiped me out. Now I'm pushing harder to get my health back and keep it on an even keel. I hope this wellness centre is affordable and can help you. Take care.
I too hope this clinic can help you. Maybe you could also offer barter, like some of your fabulous eggs and summer garden offerings to supplement your Medicare. I would sure be one to take you up on that!
My mom died in 1993 and I still miss her from time to time. It does get stirred up in me for reasons I sometimes can't even identify. Thinking of you with love in my heart, dear Annie.
I so hate that you are feeling tough Annie. I hope that your appointment with the new place helps!!
It makes no difference how long ago we lost our parents, the pain is always there.
HUGS!!!
Sorry you are dealing with so much pain too friend. It's no fun. Ice is my best friend these days. Some days I feel like I have ice hanging from you nose! Hope they can find some answers. So sorry about your friend's mom. I'm 73 and still miss my mother. I think of her often and wish she were still around even tho she's been gone for 18 years.
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