Willy Nilly Wednesday

It's been a long day today. Did quite a bit of cleaning and such around the homestead. Transplanted some flowers. Had a sponsling over for the afternoon for some step work. Did a load of laundry and changed my bed linens. Went on a 12 Step call. Roasted a turkey breast. Made soup stock afterwards with the bones and skin and juice from the turkey. Tomorrow I will make a turkey noodle soup with the fat homemade egg noodles in it. Busy busy.

I have twisted that darn knee again. I'm back on the naproxen and wearing a brace sometimes and trying to keep it up as much as possible. It's quite bothersome this evening.

We are going to attend a Festival of Faiths and Cultures on Saturday at the Lady of the Snows Shrine. I am really looking forward to it...a big event, with an international food court, crafts and gifts from around the world, stage performances of folk dances... I can't wait.

Our next class starts this coming Monday as well...a class on Deep Ecology. THAT should be interesting.

My life just never seems to slow down much. But soon winter will come and then things will grind to a halt. I love the winter season..a time to renew and rest and change gears. I am blessed to have the life that I have, and eternally grateful.

I am grateful for all the gifts around me, and grateful that my bed beckons. Grateful to be sober. Grateful to have so much love in my life...somedays it just overwhelms me.



Sleep well, fellow travellers.


Namaste.

Labor Day Monday

[This looked like a serious conversation...a melding of minds...] lol


The long weekend is over. Grandson back home and today in school. Sister and husband back on their way to Florida. Husband back to work. Me...breathing a sigh of relief at having my quiet home back. I have a few errands to run today and am thinking i should get them done this morning so I can sit back and enjoy the rest of the day. Patrick had 4 days off in a row....yikes. lol It was all good though.

I tried blogging here last night after I got home from the meeting, but the power went out and I lost the satellite signal. Never mind. I just turned it off and went to bed, where I proceeded to sleep soundly for about 7 and a half hours. And this morning I am refreshed and ready for a new day. I have juice to make and bread to bake, and a tiny bit of straightening to do around my house.

I feel so blessed these days. As my friend Mary said so succinctly, "Abundance is everywhere..." If I can shift my paradigms even the tiniest bit, I can find prosperity in everything I see. If I can move from the errant ideas that wealth is in bank accounts and new things and more, more, more. If I can open my heart to abundance instead of always looking thorough my eyes. When I can do this, I see a world full to the brim. The value of a simply lived life is astronomical for me. The lack of stress, the absence of constant competition, the loss of those feelings of never having enough. Because that's what they are--just feelings. Not facts. The facts are made plain by the removal of lots of extraneous clutter, whether it's in my life reality or in my mind. I am not hungry, like 2/3 of the world. I am not homeless, like so many are. I am not alone. I have an excess of clothing, baubles, books and pets. (lol) I may not have much deniros in the bank, but my needs are met. I have lived a lot of my life wallowing in excess...so I do know this terrain. I have also been blessed to have lived in some times of scarcity, so I know that terrain as well. Today I am somewhere in the middle. Poor by some standards, wealthy by others. Resting here, in the middle.

I am blessed to have been given the chance to live a sober life. Many never get this chance. Some days I wish I didn't get so much of the experience, but mostly I am blessed beyond measure. I witnessed a man about my age last night who got sober the same year as I did, but drank again after 7 years and has been coming in and out of sobriety ever since. Cannot find his way back to stay...just getting little snatches of peace every now and again, only to fall back off the path and be lost...again and again. It shook me. He looked so lost and so miserable. I remember being told in my early days that it wasn't rocket science...I just needed one thing. To want to be sober more than I wanted to be drunk. That it wasn't enough just try--I had to DO. It wasn't hard to stop, they told me--staying stopped was the tricky part. That I had to build a sober life that was better than anything I had ever known drunk. And I started out on that road of discovery, love and service back in the early 90's and haven't had to drink since. I feel relatively secure in sobriety today, even when I watch people with some time drink again. I'm not stupid about it though. I still do almost all the things they told me back then. And mostly, I NEVER forget what it used to be like, what happened and what it's like now. And I dig in, and I put my hand out one more time, no matter how tiresome it gets sometimes. And no matter how many times I watch them stumble back out there, I know that I stayed sober through it, and that's enough. I don't have to analyze, rationalize or justify my life today. I just have to live it. Fully.

For these things, I feel especially blessed.


Namaste.

Wednesdays wandering

LOL...Remember this? I had to post it again when I saw it in my pictures because it never fails to make me laugh out loud.


The end of a productive day. I am grateful that I am a list maker...there's nothing so satisfying as marking a line through things I have accomplished in the course of the day. Today I cleaned carpets and changed sheets and dug potatoes. I did a little grocery shopping too. And now it is late and I am ready for bed.

I got a call at about 11PM...a sponsling wanting to know if I had a recipe for a Gooey Butter Cake. LMAO...she wants to make one in the morning. I didn't, but I do have a computer, so I found a recipe on Paula Deen's website that looked pretty good. While I was at it, I looked up the recipe for gooey butter cookies as well, and printed both of them out for ME. Nopt sure when I'll make them, but at least I have the information. lol

Tomorrow will be a full day....the speaker /potluck is at 6...a Mexican Fiesta! I only have to chop tomatoes, lettuce, onions...bring sour cream and shredded cheese. Because it is one of my sponslings' birthday (4 years Yippee!!) I will also be baking her a cake. So...I really was going to bake it tonight, but I'm too tired, so it'll have to be first thing in the morning. And then while it is in the oven, I'll finish straightening up the house a bit and get some French Onion Soup going. Have a sponsling coming at noon to do a bit of step work for a couple of hours, and then we'll go on to the meeting. We'll have some soup and bread for lunch. As weird as the weather is for this time of year....I love it because soup's a perfect meal. Today was about 72 again.

My sister is coming from Florida this weekend. It was supposed to be Friday, but now she's changed it to Saturday. It will be what it will be. One of the best gifts I have gotten from sobriety is that my happiness is never contingent on someone else's actions. LOL. I think I will get one of the turkey breasts out of the freezer (I bought several when they were .99 cents a pound!!) and put it in the roaster on Friday night. We can have sandwiches or whatever...whenever she happens to arrive. Voila! Problem solved. lol

I am feeling a lot of gratitude today. (And not just because we have water!!).

• Grateful that I have a house that's just the right size that I can manage!
• Grateful that I have family that loves me.
• Grateful that I have food to share, an expression of love for me.
• Grateful to have a social life.
• Grateful that I have hobbies, and that my life is NEVER boring.
• Grateful that I don't have to drink today (this is huge!).
• Grateful that I know that I can do ANYTHING for 24 hours.
• Grateful for the 5 gallon bucket of lovely fingerling potatoes I dug in my garden today.
• Grateful to live a life of elegant blessings and grace.
• Especially blessed to have found friends in recovery who blog!!
• Grateful for the good nights sleep I am heading off to.......

Namaste.

Tuesday starts September

(Life's a Dance...when you know the Steps!)

It's been a beautiful start to the month. I happily washed about 5 loads of laundry, which included couch covers, rugs and bath towels. I was home all day, taking it easy. Sort of....lol.

It was about 72 today and sunny and clear. The plumbing brothers came and finished their cleanup, and I just laundered and computed and chatted and read. I didn't even really cook...pulled some bbq'd pork out of the freezer for sandwiches and threw some tater tots in the oven. Made open faced sandwiches with the honey oatmeal bread I baked yesterday. It was yummy and filling and that was that. lol

I found something I thought was cute, so here it is;

12 Signs of a Spiritual Awakening (source unknown)

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
2. Frequent attacks of smiling.
3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.
6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
7. A loss of ability to worry.
8. A loss of interest in conflict.
9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
10. A loss of interest in judging others.
11. A loss of interest in judging self.
12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

Here's wishing you a life filled with spiritual awakenings....



Namaste.

The Last Day of August, 2009

Oh, my.....just LOOK at all that water. Know where else you can find water?....In EVERY SINGLE FAUCET IN MY HOUSE!!!!! And the toilets. Oh my....it has happened. The city water is at my house as of about 6:30 this evening. And by "at my house" I mean every pipe is in the ground, every trench dug and covered, and water is flowing like manna from heaven RIGHT INTO MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!


Am I excited? (Oh yeah, you betcha). Finally, finally. Tonight I did the dishes, singing the whole time. It was so much less work than it has been that I actually enjoyed it. Paddy O'Kelley took a long hot shower after work. I filled dog and cat dishes. I washed my hands A LOT. I'm going to take a long hot shower too.

It wasn't that long ago in this country that showers and baths stopped being considered such a luxury. Now we take it all for granted.

As you can imagine, I am feeling particularly grateful today. I am blessed to be sober and alive. I am blessed to be blessed, and to KNOW that I am blessed.

I had a wonderful time at the Saturday night bbq and meeting up on the tip top of Pere Marquette State Park. It is incredibly beautiful up there, and was even more so this year. There lots of new "friends of Bill" to meet from across the river, one very nice couple from up Springfield way. When I got there, someone hollered "THERE she is!!!!" and I felt like the prom queen, lol. I was wearing my Expect A Miracle t-shirt too, just in case, lol It felt good to be there and see some people I don't get to see real often. The meeting topic was on humility, which seemed to fit perfectly. Lots of lovely honest shares, and it was good.

Sunday was a bit of a laid back day, after the morning meeting. We came home and just lay around reading and puttering. Very restful, just the way it should be. I was asked to come tell my story at an Alanon meeting, so I did. It was good.

One of the girls I sponsor drank again. It breaks my heart to watch her. She is so arrogant and so sure she is "strong" and in control. And there's no talking to her...she bobs her head up and down, I know, I know...until I want to scream. People die from this stuff. It's not a joke, and it's not a game. I want to shake some sense into her....and yet I know that all I can do is keep the doors open so that when she finally is finished (if she lives) she can walk again into the sunlight of the Spirit. So I go sit in the quiet and ask for some guidance about what to say to her this time. And once again, I am so grateful to be me with my life and my troubles and my blessings.

Here are the 12 steps, in plain English:

1. Alcohol will kill me.
2. There's a power that wants me to live.
3. Do I want to live or die? (If you want to die, stop here.)
4. Write about how I got where I am.
5. Tell another person all about me (Let God listen).
6. Want to change.
7. Ask a power greater than me to help me change.
8. Write down who I hurt.
9. Fix what I can without hurting anyone else.
10. Accept that I'm human and will screw up. Fix it immediately.
11. Ask a power greater than me to show me how to live.
12. Keep doing 1-11...and pass it on.


Blessed Be!!!!

Freaky Fridays

~~~Frankie Figgs~~~~Generally one of the least user- friendly cats we have. But recently he has been all over me, wanting pets and treats and hugs and kisses.



Just had the most wonderful IM with a friend from Down Under. I adore her. It was everything spiritual, practical and loving...what a perfect combination ! I am so blessed to have such people in my life.

It's almost 2 AM and my house is filled with the aroma of fresh baked bread. It's about ready to come out of the bread machine. I forgot to stop and pick up a loaf on my way home tonight...so thought I'd throw a loaf in the old whiz bang bread maker. The unfortunate part is that once it's done (a matter of minutes now) I will be OBLIGED to eat a chunk of it hot, with butter. It's a honey oatmeal bread...and OMG, does it smell like heaven!! And I know it will probably do one of two things. Either I will eat that hot yeasty bread and it will give me a stomach ache....or I will sleep like a baby. LMAO!!! Either way--I don't care. I'm willing to risk it for that soul comforting feeling that you can only get from warm homemade bread.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OMG. It's delightful. It's a beautiful caramel brown, the crumb is perfect and the taste is outta this world. I'm eating the end piece....It has whole wheat flour and unbleached flour, and flax meal, oatmeal, honey and butter in it. And water and yeast. And salt. Is there really anything better on this planet??????????

I'm home from a birthday meeting, so I'm feeling pretty grateful tonight. Watched someone get 35 years. Wow. By my best guesstimate, there must have been over 300 years of sobriety in that room. It was flat out AWESOME. I feel very lucky to be living in a place where there is so much sobriety and so many meetings.


My gratitude list for today could easily be a gazillion items long. lol I love counting my blessings instead of my problems. I love knowing that no matter how I might be FEELING at any given moment throughout the day, the facts are these: I am especially blessed.

Lets put it like this:

• I will have running water on Monday.
• I have all my needs met today.
• Today I know that joy is the blood and heartbeat of God.
• I am a strong sober woman.
• Those feelings of uselessness and self pity have disappeared.
• I know how to keep my thoughts positive.
• 63 degrees is good sleeping weather.
• Tomorrow I get to have food,fellowship and fun (and a bbq!) in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.
• Today, I got a new sponsor!
• The trigger finger problem I had seems to be going away. By itself!
• I know love.
• All kinds of love.
• Cat and dog and chicken and bird and man and woman love.
• I can live in a state of grace today. No matter what.

Namaste.

Thursday Mornings Sure Feel FIne..

Didn't post last night, as I got home late from a meeting and then a foray into the big grocery there in town. Needed apples and Good and Plentys. Yes. I needed licorice. And then I ate it until I wanted to puke. lol Somedays are just like that. This morning I feel a little hung over from all the sugar. When I used to have presents of the wonderful Kookaburra licorice lovingly sent me by a friend, it never made me sick. lol Now I can't find it anywhere...a lovely soft licorice, mmmmm.... I slept a little late and then puttered around a bit. I need to get some beans cooking...in the crockpot. I've been hungry for beans lately...I think my pantry has several bags to choose from: Great Northerns, Pintos, and Black Beans. What I really want is Butter Beans..those big limas that melt in your mouth and taste so right piled on a slice of buttered whole grain bread in the bottom of a bowl, with chopped raw onion on top. And fresh ground black pepper. I seem to have a food obsession going on here. lol At my age, and at this point on my life, I find it amazing that I can have so much passion about something so primal. lol I just made a smoothie from 3 overripe bananas, a splash of half and half, a cup or so of water, a few ice cubes, some nutmeg and some Kashi Energy shake mix. It tastes delish! I'm blessed to live in a world where there are so many things right at my fingertips. Bananas, and nutmeg, for instance. And a blender. That works when I plug it in. A phone to be able to call and check on a sick friend. A computer that works (most of the time). A love for the planet I live on that keeps me thinking and mindful of my actions. And mostly for the body I've been given...a body that is resilient and healthy and capable of doing things like carrying me to the back yard to feed the chickens and check the garden for errant veggies and sweeping the back deck. For a body that houses a brain that can read and write and love. That can draw a little and write a little and understand and have empathy for other human beings. That can take simple steps that lead to grand epiphanies. It's the little things that all add up to all the big things. It's my Creator, the wind in the willows, the stars blazing across the night skies...it's fresh clean water and air that is breathable. I'm going to end this with a poem by Hafiz that I found when cleaning my desk this morning. It says it all for me:


Every Child Has known God.
Not the God of names,
Not the God of Don'ts
Not the God who ever does
Anything weird.
But the God who only knows four words
And keeps repeating them, saying: "Come, dance with me."
Come.
Dance.
~~Hafiz



Namaste