Wednesday, February 20, 2013

This life of mine...

Yesterday, this little warrior cat went to meet his Maker.

  Earlier in the day he had caught a big mouse and was strutting around the porch showing it off to anyone who'd look, and hissing out the corner of his mouth at the cats who thought they might like to take it. He was so proud of himself.

  This kitten was one of a litter of 3. The other two kittens died within days of each other, right after their eyes opened and they'd started wandering around the room a little. They were fine (seemingly) one minute and dead within half an hour the next. It was baffling. This little guy was the runt of the litter and he was looking bad and I had a thought that Mama cat wasn't feeding them  right, or her milk was bad, or SOMETHING.  So I scurried off to the vet and got some kitten milk replaceer and started dropper feeding his little fuzzy butt...about every 2 hours. He thrived and we bonded and he claimed me as his own.

  Yesterday I was baking/frosting a spice cake to take to my sister-in-law's for my niece. We were going to meet there after I got out of physical therapy. I heard my little white dog out in the driveway howling softly. It was a strange kind of howl, almost melancholy. I wiped my hands and went to the door and saw her sitting out in the middle of the driveway, facing the road. I hollered to her "What's the matter, baby?"  And she stood up and looked over her shoulder at me and then turned back to the road and howled again. I walked out a little further and then I saw  the little bundle of grey stripes laying right at the bottom of the driveway, where it meets the road.  Oh no....no, please....was all I could think as I slowly walked down to where he lay. And he was dead. His neck broken. Hit by a car or one of those damned four wheelers that fly up and down the road all the time here. He wasn't mangled, there was only a little blood at his mouth...so I suspect it wasn't anything s big as a car that hit him.  I carried him around to the back of the house and wrapped his body in black plastic and turned the wheelbarrow over on top of him.

  I am grateful that he died almost instantly.  Not much suffering.  We should all be so lucky.

  So far, these past few weeks have been awful. I can't take too much more, I don't think.

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  My sister in law is doing okay, everything considered.   I spent a few hours down there with her (she's home) and came home when she started getting too tired. She looks pretty good for someone that just had brain surgery. The family is ...I don't know what to call it besides terrified.  The stress level is palpable, which is the last thing her body needs right now.  And though I know that nobody means to be snapping at each other or not asking for help or feeling so hopeless right now, it's kind of where they are.  Not her so much, but my brother for sure. He is so scared, I know he can't control himself.

  Today they had to go for an MRI and to get a face mask made. It will cover all the parts of her head and face (I guess) where the radiation is not supposed to go. She was worried about the MRI because she nearly had a hissy in there the last time...but she was just out of surgery and confused and phlemgy from the anasthesia so she felt like she couldn't breathe.  And her head hurt. I really hope it will go better tody...haven't heard anything yet.  Her sister is here from California, so that will be very comforting to her, I know.

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  It was a nice day mostly at home here today. (Yesterday, now, lol)  I'm having a hard time getting this post done. Anyway, I had a nice day that included a little cooking (red beans and rice and cornbread), a lilttle hoiusekeeping (very littler, but I did at least sweep the floors and straighten a few things).  No PT yesterday, but I do go back this afternoon.  I'm supposed to go tomorrow too, but we have a big storm coming in tonight or tomorrow, supposedly, and I already told them that if it happens, I may not be able to get out.  I'm going to stop and pick up a couple of things at the market before or after the dr, depending on how it goes.  I'm completely out of garlic. I've been up and about since 7:15 this morning...took care of my animals and the neighbors animals (they may be coming back today)...and still need to shower and stuff. I got a chiropractic adjustment on Monday--much needed.  Today I am scheduled for a massage and PT.  I got the second injection into my knee on Monday too--given by the dr instead of the PA. She is much better at it. And it hurt when he was doing it and it hurt all night. Like there was no painkiller in it this time.  I was almost thinking that I might leave early and go have lunch out before going to the clinic. Or not.  lol

  I picked up my new glasses yesterday.  O.M.G.  I can't believe how badly I needed new ones. lol  I can see so much better...the good news is that the tiny cataract is not noticeably bigger than last time. The bad news is that my distance vision has deteriorated.  But new glasses has made that better. Yay! And the computer isn't making my eyes so tired either.  Don't know if that is the Zeiss lenses or just a proper prescription.

  The only thing I really need to do this morning still is vacuum the furnace filter (dog and cat hair require constant maintenance on things like filters and computers...) AND I think I'll make some rice pudding. We are officially out of dessert I was informed last night. I'm trying to get back to cooking a little more healthy...so a brown rice pudding, sweetened with honey and raisins and made with rice milk instead of dairy. OR--maybe made with coconut milk. hmmm...I just got a new case of that too, nice organic coconut milk...I use iot to make different soba noodle dishes and brulees and stuff. So, it's much cheaper to buy it by the case.  I'll bet that would be good in rice pudding...sometimes I add a bit of dried fruit from my pantry, but I think I'll just stick with raisins this time. And maybe a little coconut...It's a good dessert in the wintertime...comfort food, with lots of yummy goodness and really no bad side.

  Alright. Off to see what fresh madness may be lurking around the next corner.



Namaste.


13 comments:

the wild magnolia said...

let us pray their are better days ahead.

prayers for you and sis.

Hope said...

That is sad about your cat and sweet about the dog. We are all so connected. Prayers for you and your family, especially your brother. I think sometimes it is harder to be the one looking on and feeling so helpless.

Ashling said...

Oh Annie....I've been out of touch so didn't know about all that's been happening in a month that started with such promise. Funny thing taht when we delve into love we sometinmes get all sides of it, the highs and the supreme sadness when someone we love hurts, or worse, dies. I'm so deeply sorry for the loss of your sweet cat; what a good life he had. Wishing healing and gentleness for all of you....

Beth said...

You have had a really tough few weeks Annie. I am so sorry. I hope things begin to get better soon. Prayers for your sil's family and you.

HUGS!!

JoAnn ( Scene Through My Eyes) said...

What a week - here's to peace and serenity for all involved.

Lo said...

So very sorry about all the tragedies. What a heartbreaker to lose the kitty like that.

I am sending hugs and good thoughts your way.....and Love.

Mama Pea said...

So, so sorry to now hear the bad news about you losing your dear cat. I had something like that happen years ago when we lived in Illinois on a country road. Our good cat often crossed the road to hunt in the field there. I was working in the front yard and saw him meandering out toward the road. A pick-up truck came roaring down the road. I stood and waved my arms and shouted at the driver but he never even slowed down. Ran right over K.R. (short for Killer 'cause he was such a good mouser) and kept going.

Things have got to get better for you soon. You've had an awful lot to bear up under. Hugs.

Cloudia said...

gosh honey - take what comforts you can. we love you!



Fond ALOHA from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° > <3

Mary LA said...

Annie, my heart goes out to you. Bless your little cat on the journey Elsewhere.

Good news on the new specs though! And delicious comfort food.

Akannie said...

Thank you all...I'm surely buoyed by your thoughts and love. And hello JoAnn--thanks for stoping by EB...

We are all sitting around waiting to see if the storm impacts us...looks like it will. We could sure use the precip !

DJan said...

One more thing to fall onto your shoulders. I'm also glad that the cat didn't suffer for long. I'm so glad you have your faith and your loved ones around you. It makes it all so much easier to bear. Thinking of you and sending you lots of virtual hugs, Annie.

Mariodacatsmom said...

I'm so very sorry to hear about your precious little kitty and have leaky eyes here. Such a cute little fella too. Hugs

1st Man said...

I'm so sorry. Have comfort in knowing you gave him a wonderful life he would have never had had you not intervened. Big hugs to you!