It is raining cats and dogs out there. The morning's humidity was so high that I had a constant glitter of sweat on my face constantly. It wasn't nearly as attractive as you'd think. It was late afternoon when it finally started to rain..a soft rain, as the Irish describe it. A constant drizzle. By early evening it was torrential. Lightning and thunder and the whole nine yards. Coming home tonight around 8, the country road I live on was a flooded mess. I had to go out back and check on my chickens, then down to the road to pull the garbage can back up to the house and when I came back in, my pantlegs were soaked up to my knee. There is a good 4 inches of water standing in the driveway...All the fields on our road are looking more like lakes than fields. It's a mess, and it isn't supposed to let up any time soon.
It's warm in the house, but I'm afraid if I open windows it will get too cold overnight.
I'm going to lunch with a friend tomorrow...am thinking I may call her up to come here instead if she will. She might. lol I really don't feel like eating out, if you can believe that. And it isn't even the eating part...my time at home is so precious to me I don't want to waste it. Starting this week, I am cutting work hours down from 6-7 to only 5 days a week. 2 days off...in a row. I cannot wait.
My little dog is lying here, dreaming of chasing rabbits and whimpering and kicking. I saw her again today, sitting at the edge of the yard, looking and looking for Lucy, her best friend, to show up. She looks so sad....it chokes me up and makes me cry. The first day she was gone, the little dog went from room to room looking for her everywhere. I guess I am such a sap....but it breaks my heart. And I KNOW I should not be hating and blaming my neighbors for this....but I do. I know that once the hurt has subsided, I will feel differently...at least a little. In the meantime it is all I can do not to go over there and scream at them. And so I mutter and pace and shoot dirty looks across the pond at them...and wait for the grief to subside.
This has been a long day and I am tired. Guess I'll go climb in that big sleigh bed and snuggle up next to the Irishman and listen to his soft breathing for a bit before I fall off to sleep. I have been listening to that breathing for a lot of years... and it anchors me and cradles me and reminds me that there is big love in this world. I just finished reading a glorious post by Ms.Moon that warmed the old cockles of my heart. Got me to thinking about love and how it really is all around us...blessed by love. In all it's different guises.
Night all....
Namaste.
4 comments:
In all it's different guises. It is becoming more apparent that love is all around, if I only pay attention.
My memories are becoming softer of late, and it is showing in my life today.
Grief as you know just has to be gotten through, whether you have two legs or four. It breaks my heart to watch another being suffer, too. Hope you make it through all that rain!
ah...that's it, isn't it, Andrew? Paying attention. Something we forget to do a lot of the time. I try to live mindfully. Sometimes I get so caught up in the world I forget what's real.
I'm seeing more and more, DJan, that grief isn't something that just goes away..it leaves little traces in you and globs on to more every time there's another event. I have had a lot of loss in my life too...and the bittersweetness of surviving it is always the surprise.
I'm not sure I've ever left a comment...but have followed your blog off and on for a couple of years! I love to read about how you can your own food, all the cooking you do, etc. You write like you're talking to a good friend...it makes people feel like they know you. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon! (Hugs)
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