Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thursday at grandma's house...
Picked up the notorious 14 year old grandson tonight after leaving MissB's. It was raining and they are predicting storms...but it seems to be bypassing us. So--that's a good thing! We have had some pretty horrendouos weather around these parts the past week...tornadoes and thunderstorms...roofs blown off schools and barns, carports ripped away and flung about the land. One little town had houses smashed flat and people trapped in their basements. Yikes.
I am getting lots of lessons in attachment and trust and love lately. Not sure whether to thank God for them or just ask WTH ??? I know that at some point, I will see the point to it all. I do believe a couple of things: 1) Things DO happen for a reason and 2) God has a plan for my life. If I can hang on to those two basics, I can make it through to the other side of these emotional wounds and upheavals. I also believe that there is always potential for healing. Always. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. I am just so impatient.
Tired tonight...but I am off tomorrow and will be up making waffles for my boy. As he was falling asleep he whispered "Grandma?" I said yes...and he said "Can we have waffles for breakfast? You promised last time...." and he drifted off to sleep. He is growing up so fast....he'll be 15 in November and I can't believe how the time has flown. In my mind, he is still 6 and telling me how he loves me with ALL his heart, and he promises he will never change. When he comes to grandmas house, he is a little boy again, and we run and play and act silly as hell. And we eat waffles. With lots and lots of butter. And life is grand and nothing intrudes on that. And that's the way it should be.
My son came today and put the vinyl lattice up on the front porch. It looks great. I took some before and after pictures...of course they're still in the camera....lol Now Miss Molly McGee, the Jack Russell Terrorist can only get in and out in one section of the railing. No more getting tangled and tied up. It's a godsend. I've been wanting that done for 5 years....even before dogs were being tied up there.
While he was doing that I was busy fixing sausage and sauerkraut and garlic mashed potatoes for the Irishman's supper and my sons and my lunch. I also whipped up an old fashioned lemon meringue pie ...straight out of the old Farm Journal cookbook. yum...
I got a lovely card for Lucy from my friend in NY...it made me cry. Last night as I was passing through the living room, I looked down in the dark and saw a dark lump and reached down to pet her...it was only a new dk green pillow, but for a moment I forgot Lucy was gone. I pulled my hand back and started to cry again...like now...I will be glad when this pain has dulled and I stop this stabbing sense of loss I feel constantly. It's only been a week tomorrow...
I am trying to pray for more tolerance and practice more patience with the people around me but it's not going all that well. I got several calls today from a drunken woman whose drunkenness was escalating everytime she called. I finally stopped answering. I told her the first time that if she was drinking, there was nothing I could say to her. I have a pretty firm policy NOT to talk to a drunken person who calls, it's too frustrating and almost always a complete waste of my time. Unless it sounds like life or death...which it rarely does.
I hope that tomorrow is a little slower, a little kinder, a little sweeter and a lot more gentle for all your souls out there. Especially mine. lol
Let's take good care of ourselves and each other, okay ?