Saturday, October 31, 2009
Then end of another month finds me nursing a sickish husband who has a congestion/sinus-y sore throaty kind of bug. Everyone around these parts seems to have it...not me. Yet. lol I'm faithfully taking the Vitamins B&C&D and Echinacea and Goldenseal and a little zinc thrown in for good measure. And washing my hands A LOT. And staying away from sickies wherever I can. Got a call from my youngest sister this morning. She's pretty upset about her daughter who was calling her crazy drunk at 5:30 AM begging her to come get her. She was at home, and was in the floor so drunk she couldn't get up. This is the second major episode of this...my sister (naturally) is terrified and doesn't know what to do, so I said I'd call and see if she will talk to me. I've called twice now and she isn't returning my calls. The kid is only 23 years old...was sobbing that she has no friends, she hates her life, she drinks every day before work. Please keep C- in some prayers if you have extras. Maybe this will be a bottom for her, but I'm skeptical. One of my sponslings has relapsed again as well. Has been lying about smoking pot and went on another good bender a few nights ago. I wish I could spoon feed this sobriety thing to people, but I can't. If only they could believe that this is the easier, softer way! But they cannot and will not. So, I sit on the sidelines and I wait. Maybe they will have a flash of clarity before it is too late for them. Maybe they won't. I'm so grateful to be sober today, and to have that excruciating first year behind me. I'm grateful that I was 37 when I got here...and not so young that all I could think was "I need to have fun..." By 37, I had drank all the fun out of life. By 37, I was an empty shell of a human being. I read a really lovely meditation on Thursday that I wanted to share here. It is titled : I am a radiating center of peace. Heat emanates from the core of the sun, where particles bump and collide, radiating energy and warmth. When I turn my face to the sun, I feel the power that is released from deep within it, benefitting me and all of the planet Earth. Deep within me, Divine Light radiates love and energy throughouot my mind, body and spirit. Loving expressions emanate from the core of me, from my Divine nature. I have within me all I need to radiate love and peace into the world. Outward expressions of peace begin with inner peace. I focus and center myself on the Divine Light within, and every thought I hold and every word I speak are bathed in peace. I am blessed beyond my understanding today by the life I get to live. To be a grain of sand on the most beautiful beach in the Universe, to be a droplet of water in a gorgeously wild river. To be in a position to put out a helping hand every now and again and make a difference in someone's life. To look through the pain of this life sometimes and know...that behind every opportunity lies a lesson to help me on the path to Dharma, to understanding, to love. Namaste.