Sunday, May 3, 2009
Sunday in spring
Whew. It's been a crazy few days, and now I sit here with poison ivy all over me...poor me. Like a twat, I worked along the fence line pulling out vines and weeds so I could plant the tigerlilies...with no gloves. Because I'm superwoman! Because no ivy would dare tangle with me! Because I am a fookin IDIOT !!!!! And now I am suffering like crazy. I can barely use my hands, because I have the rash all between my fingers and the hands are swollen and tight. It's on my neck and crawling up past my jawline. It's on my arms, making me scratch like a junkie in need of breakfast. Sigh...If it doesn't calm down by tomorrow, I may go to the doctor for some kind of antihistamine shot. I'm having this fear of it getting into my eyes...
Anyways....lol. I have been in bed off and on today because I took Benadryl and it knocked me for a loop. I thought I had some allergy capsules, but cannot find them. Even one Benadryl (last night I took 2 before bed, like the box says, and it dropped me where I sat!) made me loopy and sleepy.
But I got lots of yard work done the past couple of days. Even got the mud room cleaned out and organized. That's one of those areas that is a catch-all for everything all winter long. It's disgusting. And it's the size of a small bedroom, so---more room=more crap. sigh...But now it's all orderly and swept out. I have 2 large garbage containers to put out tomorrow. The garbage man will go into shock! We usually can barely get 2 tall kitchen garbage bags a week...lol
Friday night I had a spiritual experience as a huge buck sailed over the top of my car as I was driving into a small dip. I saw him on the bank and started slowing down, thinking he was going to come down the side of the hill and go across the road. Instead, I see him kick his back legs and jump from one embankment to the other!!! I was yelling and didn't know whether to speed up or slow down. He couldn't have been more than 12 inches from my windshield. Hubby and I just stared at each other, and started laughing. It was quite the experience!
I was thinking again about how blessed I am to be alive, right here, right now. How grateful I am to be living one day at a time. And sober enough to think about it.
All the people walking through my life teach me, time and again, that this is NOT a dress rehearsal, that I need to live life to the fullest, and not ever take anything for granted. To be grateful for everything and everyone around me...even the ones who seem to be here to teach me how NOT to be.
Next month I will celebrate (God willing) my 19th year of sobriety. I will celebrate with another friend from Floriduh who has the same day as me, with a group of cyberfamily and local people who have all helped me, over and over again, to stay on this path. That the hand of AA is always out for me to grab, all I have to do is make the first move. I'm grateful to be having all these people in my life and at my home the weekend of June 12th. If anyone here is interested, drop me an email and I'll snd you an Evite.
It's always fun to gather with kin. And that's the coolest part: AA is my family. They took me in when I was desperate and sick and ugly, and they loved me back to some semblance of health. They showed me a better way to live. They said that I never had to drink again if I didn't want to. And they showed me how they did it, one day at a time.
And today, I am one grateful drunk, one dopeless hope fiend.