My little Aladog...Miss Molly McGee....Lordy, what a day. A day full of people in trouble, crises, and tears and heartbreak.
Thankfully, I have been able to be there for them. One ensconced in the lavender guest room. One in jail. One sleeping off an emotional hangover. One day of this is enough to last me a lifetime... I am very tired, but so wound up I can't sleep. I have been in a position to hand out everything from Kleenex to hugs to BB pages to read. I have prayed, I have held hands and I have watched movies and ate macaroni and cheese comfort food. I have extended my hands and my heart and my home to some people in need.
I can't ever recall a day quite like this one. Lots of talk of patience and acceptance and trusting that things will turn out exactly the way they are supposed to. Undoubtably things that I needed to hear as well.
I went to a meeting last night with 4 of my sponslings. One was a shaky, hurting relapser. The topic was out of As Bill Sees It, on A New Life. Certainly glad I was there for it. Tomorrow night I will go to another meeting where a friend of mine is getting her 6 year coin. I wouldn't miss it for the world. On Friday at noon, another good friend is celebrating 20 years. Miracles and blessings abound.
Sometimes my life gets almost boring...everything on an even keel, no waves, sailing smoothly along. And then there are days like this, where I pray for guidance and hope I can say the right things and do the right things and not make anything worse than it already is. Emotional distress is almost harder for people to deal with than physical trauma, I think. I know it is for me. But if we can just hold on and not drink or use to ease the pain, we have half a chance to get through it. And more than once today I said "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." I have a lot of prayers to say tonight for a few people. Prayers for acceptance, prayers for relief from fear, and prayers for patience.
I am grateful to be sober today. To have MY life and not somebody else's. To know that if I am in trouble, there are things I can do. To share my Experience (I have lots!), my Strength (I have that too!) and my Hope (and this is the big one!). To touch another human being and let them know that, no matter what, if they can get through the trials and not drink, everything WILL be alright.
I am so thankful for every last drink I took. For every big mistake I have ever made. And for the truth of my life today: I never have to do this alone. Ever.
Namaste.
