Green beans planted, 5-16-2013. May well be the latest planting in the history of this haphazard gardener. The weather has not been cooperative this year. And it doesn't seem to be over yet. It rained again yesterday (good for the beans and taters, not so good for the rest of the beds that need digging in and planting). Sigh...All the seedlings are looking war weary because they need to get their toes in the ground. A few have completely died. I am getting anxious and now we have 2 possibly nice days ahead and the Irishman is going to be too busy to do much here for both of them. I don't know how much digging my back and knee will allow me to do, but I'm going to have to try, or nothing is going to get done.
I feel frustrated and a little scared. We need this food to get us through the winter. (Of course, we can get through it like lots of people do, but I don't want to have to do that. ) I'm probably over-reacting...but I think this must have been how it felt back in the old days, when your livelihood was hinging on how much you could provide for your family. When you are at the mercy of Mother Nature. And this is just a family garden, not fields and fields of crops or anything. I need to take a deep breath and regroup. lol
Yesterday I picked up my favorite sister-in-law and we took a 3 hour drive down to see my brother and my OTHER favorite sister-in-law. lol We stopped and had breakfast and moseyed on down the road. It was a really good day. I don't get out much. lol It's the first time I've really gotten away from here for a whole day in quite a while. We stayed all day and came home late last night (well, around 9--late enough). We had such a good time together and got lots of talking done on the drive. The brain cancer ordeal she's going through is putting her through some massive shifts, as it would anyone. Good things, mostly. But she is tired and having some cognitive issues and it scares her. As it would anyone. And I am especially blessed to be available to love her and hold her hand through as much of this as she needs me to.
The visit was great-as always. We had lunch and talked and laughed until our sides hurt--my baby brother is hysterically funny. Then my niece came home from school at 3 and we started all over again. It was a grand day, and I am so blessed to be part of this family. I really needed this day.
So, I am dressed and trying to decide what to do first. It's community yard sale day and I really would like to go do that. I haven't had any breakfast yet and I am out of bread. And then there's the chicken coop that needs cleaning and the garden that needs digging and the house that needs straightening. On a bright note, I HAVE had coffee. And the Irishman is off to Springfield and the dogs are outside and the day is mostly sunny with a little cloudiness mixed in, heading for 80 degrees (though it's only 72 right now). So, as an exercise in living mindfully and more zen-like, I think I'll go brush my teeth and let this day take me where it will. Releasing anxiety (things will be the exact way they are supposed to be) and trusting that my path will go where it's supposed to go today. And trying to keep myself positive and kind and hopeful.
That's about it. What else is there? Oh yeah, love. Love.