Thursday, September 27, 2012

Hump Day + One

  Feeling a bit over the top tonight...nearing midnight and I am a little tired. It was a full and busy day, even though I foolishly made plans with someone to spend the early part of the afternoon together...knowing it would probably be cancelled (odds were about 99:1) --counting on it, maybe. And then being pissed when it was. This is chronic make plans with me so I can cancel them...girl. And every time, I say to myself--this is it. This person is so high maintenance I cannot possibly want a friendship with her. I am not doing this anymore.  And then the next time she reaches out to me, I get sucked in all over again. sigh....what IS it about me???

 So actually what happened was that it opened up my day and I was able to get some things done that I needed to do, and not have to rush this evening on my way to a celebration. Win/Win, I guess. 

  A few years back I developed a new model for my life. It goes like this:
         "My happiness cannot be contingent on any other human being."

  It was a good night, saw some folks I haven't seen in a while. Shared in the love and celebration of a sober life. It was all good.

  And then I came home and read some stuff on Facebook from a family member (not directed at/to me, but to another family member) and it is making me crazy. And I have had to ask Creator more than once to help me mind my tongue.  Because I want to jump into the fray, even though I have no dog in this fight.  It's just general principle. And really, all over one or two statements....quoting Bible verses at someone who doesn't agree with you.  Talking about "Christians being persecuted, as they always have been..."   and it has my heathen ass in an uproar.

 I try to be as open minded as I can about people and their religious leanings. When I look around me, it looks to me like the Christians (some--certainly not all), are the ones doing the persecuting, not the other way around.  Claiming that Christians are persecuted in this day and age sounds like a whiny rendition of finger pointing to me, as an excuse for behavior that no compassionate person, especially not the Christ, would have ever condoned. Am I wrong about this? ARE Christians persecuted? Certainly not in this country.  In this country, my experience with Christians has been that it's their way or the highway.  If you're not with them, you're against them. If you don't believe what they believe , then you, my dear, are going to hell. And I have been told that. If you don't believe as they do, they will harass  you and terrorize you  and run you out on the next rail with everything they've got.  That I am going to hell, unless I repent.  Repent what?  Mostly this amuses me, but sometimes it makes me crazy.  The audacity of it all.  My own sister said that unless I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior, there was no hope that I could join the rest of my family in heaven.  I don't believe in that kind of a God. I don't know what I believe in, except kindness and love and equality and compassion.  And Justice.  And butterflies and hummingbirds and the smell of a baby's head after a bath.

  I believe in a Creator that loves everyone, no matter what.  That believes that love and kindness are the single biggest things in the Universe. That made those incredibly many-colored birds in the rainforest of South America...finishing touches on a palette of beauty.  I believe that it's okay to believe that whatever works for you must be right. Why else would there be so many different religions?  If there is an Omnipotent Creator of the Universe, then didn't that Creator create EVERYTHING?  Would there be nothing outside the Creator's realm?  And so who is anybody to point fingers and say this is wrong or that is a sin or anything else? Isn't that just arguing with your God?  And why try to beat others into submission with your religion?  How can that possibly be a good thing?'s only Thursday night. And here I am, looking for answers that have plagued mankind since the beginning of time.  Why can't we live and let live?  Why can't we just all get along? 

  I live in a thinly veiled world sometimes and find this particular subject to be many layered and volatile. I get scared at the things that I see happening in the world much fear mongering and hatred...when it all looks so simple to me. The more afraid people get, the more violent and scary they get. They start doing and saying things that are not acceptable in public, and act like it doesn't matter...and it becomes every man for himself and then look out.

    So far, I haven't had to further alienate my family, and I certainly don't mean to alienate any of you. I respect other peoples beliefs and I respect their journeys.  At least, I try to.

  When I'm not acting like a heathen and staying off Facebook.



Petit fleur said...

I don't get around much theses days. STill in the throws of moving. sigh...

But when I saw that image of the girl on the beach, I knew I had to peek in on you! What a great post. I agree with all that you say right down to the heathen ass thing.

If anyone is offended by what you say, then it is their stuff, not yours. You've said nothing offensive here. I pray every day in my way for us to get to tolerance and surpass it with acceptance. That we can quell the predator within, and embrace our more alien/evolved side. The side that many people refer to (humorously in my opinion), as human.

Peace to you Annie.

Beth said...

I have a high maintenance friend too Annie and I ask myself if it is worth the bother.

I believe in the same God that you believe in. The God that loves us all no matter if we are in a church every Sunday, if we are straight or gay, no matter our culture, etc. I believe that heaven is open for all of us.

Rita said...

I slowly eliminated the high maintenance friends over the years. Good luck!

I am in total agreement with you. To me the religious right in this country are scarier to me (and a lot closer) than the Taliban! I puzzle over how they can have warped Christianity into an elitist hate and condemnation club. I find it so very, very sad. Us vs. them mentality fueled by fear. Very, very sad.

But there are still a lot of us heathens around with a lot of love and forgiveness in us--LOL! And there are a lot of people of all religions all over the world who don't buy into the fear and hate mentality...who still believe in love...who still believe in humanity. :)

Morgana Blacksmyth said...

Great post!

"My happiness cannot be contingent on another human being". I really needed that reminder this morning.

You know how I feel about the whole "religion" subject. I tend to believe in your God of hummingbirds and the smell of baby's heads too. One who would send me to suffer in eternal hellfire over a series of rather minor, and fully human, transgressions just isn't conducive to the whole "God of love" thing, in my opinion.

Have a great day, Annie!