A beautiful sunny day...

...on the heels of bitter cold and snow. We are down to icy sludge mostly now, although our yard is always one of the last ones to see the snow melt away.  The hill in front of our driveway is still a little treacherous, but it will be cleared by today if the temps reach close to 50 like they're saying.

  A little sunshine goes a long way.  lol

  Been a long week. I got home Friday evening, after making the trip down to the memorial service for my aunt and my niece's birthday too. I got her her first "real" jewelry box (i.e. NOT one with Hello Kitty on it) and a pair of birthstone earrings  (garnet) that are dragonflies.  She loves dragonflies. After all, she IS 9 now....lol

  It was a bittersweet trip...a blessing to see so many of my aunt's friends turn out to say their goodbyes, and a lot of family members as well. I was taken aback by the sudden (to me) descent of one of my aunts into Altzheimers..she couldn't think of who I was...and it broke my heart, watching her struggle, trying to pull something up out of her memory.  Something in me hated that it was me she couldn't remember, and not either one of my brothers sitting next to me.  On a brighter note, they had several picture boards and I got to see some great pictures of my parents and all the brothers and sisters of my dad's family, and most of them I hadn't seen before. Pictures of the 3 sisters as cheerleaders at their high school...must have been in the 40's. A picture of my uncle Will in his paratrooper uniform, right before he was shot down and killed in WWII. A picture of my grandmother and her brother as children, that no one but me seemed to know who they were, or had seen that picture before.  (I have that picture too).  All in all, a wonderful trip down memory lane.

  The snow came later there than it did here and we drove into the worst of it on the way to the funeral home. But it all worked out okay, and I went to dinner with my brothers and their wives after the service. That was nice. I forget sometimes how funny my brothers are...The next day, I stayed at my youngest brothers for most of the day and decided to leave in the afternoon so I wouldn't have to drive too much in the dark,. They were predicting a little more snow, and I thought better safe than sorry.  It was a pleasant and uneventful trip, both ways. 

   My nephew is holding his own. They had a big blood drive in Florida yesterday to help repay the blood bank for all the 15 pints he was given and I guess they had a great turnout. He is waking up and he kissed  his wife when she asked him to. He is on a lot of pain medication still, so a bit wonky, but the other drugs they were using to keep him fully sedated are gone, so that's a big deal.  I haven't heard a word from my own sister about anything since the first day it happened, so it's a good thing I can keep in touch with my niece.  This is nothing new on her part. She said she would stay in touch and she didn't and that's pretty much par for the course. She is how she is and that's all I can say about it all. I tell myself it's a tough time and it is..but she calls others and talks to them, so....nothing new under the sun, as they say.

  I made the Irishman a big breakfast this morning of Denver omelets and fresh fruit and biscuits. He has a District Meeting today (he is now DCM--a promotion from Alt. DCM when the regular guy had to have his work schedule changed). His home group meeting ends 2 hours before the District meeting, so he won't drive all the way back home, and I won't see him again until after 8 tonight when I get home.  Sooo...it's just me and the critters here lazing around the house. 

  This place is such a mess, I almost need to hire help to get it cleaned up. (Or get off the computer and get busy).  Nawww....  lol   I am going to do some stuff today, but not kill myself with it. I have some laundry to do that I might start. And maybe run the vacuum...just to freak out the dogs. lol  Then tomorrow I could take the vacuum to the shop, because it is not running right...it's not the motor, but the rolling wheels or something. It likes to hang up on the carpet...and the whole thing needs a tune-up and a cleaning.

  The weather is doing a crazy upswing and supposed to be back in the fifties tomorrow.  (Shaking her head...) This is just so wrong....

  I can't find a suitable picture for the blog this morning, and I guess if that's as bad as it gets, I'm gonna have a good day. lol  Nothing just seems right, so I guess I'll go back through and look again...

  Hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday.

  That's MY plan....

  Namaste.

The 3 F's...(Friday February Fourth)...

 It's already been a long winter.  I have been snowed in here at the house since Sunday and will be venturing out today for the first time.  It has been heavenly. The opportunity to cook more and lounge around and actually eat meals with my husband for a change...divine! 

  This was the beginning of a storm that dumped about 3/4 of an inch of ice and a foot of snow. The winds were terrible, drifting the snow as much as 5 feet in places. It was beautiful though. There's something about the black and white beauty of the ice in winter that has always mesmerized me.

 This is my peach tree in the front yard. In honor of it's courage, I baked a peach pie with fruit from the freezer. Yum! The second round of it was not as bad. And now there's another one coming in Sunday or Monday, I guess. We are all set, though I may go buy some more utility candles today.  We only lost power for about an hour on one day, miraculously enough. The Irishman says it's because they had to put in so much new stuff the past few years.

This is one of my favorites of the pictures I have taken the past few days. Love the lighting...And of course, the eerie beauty of new fallen snow.

  

   I'm back o schedule starting today. After having put in a month of 8 hour / 7 days a week...I was ready for a break. Now the break is over. I haven't really accomplished much around the house like I thought I would. lol  But my brains feel better.

  Haven't been blogging or writing or doing much of anything lately. No inspiration or motivation or something. Don;'t like the way I'm feeling mostly, but haven't been hurting enough to do anything about it.  Unfortunately, that's how it often is with people like me. Feeling rather fed up with some things in my life, I have withdrawn and isolated  to the point of almost complete inactivity. Of course, I'm talking about AA..the fellowship, not the program itself. I realized last night the worst part of it all for me is that I have always been so in love with it all,  and now it seems that is gone. Maybe I am just growing up.  Maybe I've just finally come off that pink cloud after 20 years sober. Whatever it is, I am grieving the loss of it. A couple of people have tried to tritely tell me that I need to work on my resentment, but it isn't that at all. And I am sick of having shit parroted at me from the rooms. (That does sound a little resentful...but it's really worse than a resentment. It's a LOSS.)  At any rate, I am not worried about drinking, or killing myself or any other of the myriad things we could do to ourselves.  I just want to get to the other side of this, because frankly, it isn't fun.  If the landscape of my sobriety is going to change, and I'm pretty sure it is,  I'm ready for it to HURRY THE HELL UP.  lol  I have not darkened the doors of AA since last September, except for the uncomfortable hour I spent in a room for the Irishman's 30th  back in October.  I think he is a little concerned about me. Interestingly enough, the tables have turned and he is now up to his armpits in service work. He hadn't done anything for years. lol  There was quite a while when he didn't even go to meetings. So maybe this is all a part of what happens and I will be in a different place about it all soon.  Or not.  I am taking it ODAAT, and curious to see where this is all going. Even though I'm uncomfortable enough to be moved to tears from time to time, and sad...I'm still wading through the emotions behind all this.

   Quote for the day:

  "...any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out."  ~~Chekhov

Namaste.

Hey...isn't this Pearl Harbor Day or something??

  NO, I guess it's actually the 7th... oops.  .

  It's another one of those bleak midwestern days here.  Everything is grey and depressing. It very cold...27 degrees with a lively wind.   The Irishman is at an Area Assembly for the day, lit out of here around 6 AM to make the 2+ hour drive. I'm doing laundry and bringing out a few more Christmas decos.... did some other housekeeping things and cared for a passel of critters. Another day in the life...lol

  Going to make some chicken fajitas for his supper in a few. I changed the bedlinens and now the old ones are in the washer, his work clothes are in the dryew and I folded and put away 2 small loads of other stuff.  The dogs and cats are all in various stages of repose, sprawled across sofa backs and laid out on tables like a Christmas feast. Nearly all of them are sleep. The only sounds here are the humming of the furnace and the tumble of the dryer.  It's a quiet restfull day, and I have to go visit my little lady at 3. I'll be there until 8. Probably stop and pick her up some fried chicken for supper--she has a love affair going with the Colonel. lol  She won't cook hardly at all, though last night we heated up canned chili. She says she cooked 3 meals a day, PLUS snacks, for over sixty years, and she is done. Don't blame her. Her niece tries to bring her things from her kitchen, but everything either has no salt, or too much sugar. Yesterday she told me that the potato chips tasted sweet, and why did I think they changed the recipe? Nothing tastes right to her..coffee's too burned when they roasted it, Pepsi has changed their recipe,  etc, etc.  So, at 81 she can do whatever she wants, in my book.  We eat Burger King hamburgers (her favorite) and KFC a couple of times a week. IN between, we have sandwiches or chili or bacon and eggs. She loves bologna sandwiches on white bread [shudder].  I try not to eat too much of the fast food myself, so I eat a very late lunch before I leave home, then I'm not hungry til late. Once (early on) I told her that all that greasy fried fast food wasn't really very good for her. She looked me in the eye and said "I've always eaten it. I'm 81 years old and not hardly been sick in my life. I don't take any medications and I don't go to the doctor."  Guess she told me.  lol

   I'm trying to get into the holiday spirit, really I am.  I haven't put up my greenery on the porch rails yet, but my little tree is up and one of my big Santas is out as well my giant Christmas wreath. my holiday tablecloths are out, both old vintage items. I will get the holiday pilows out today too and put the red and green plaid quilt on the sofa.  Not sure if I'll put any lights up this year or not...I was online late last night trying to order a double traverse rod from JC Penneys, so I can get my thermal drapes up.  The website wasn't cooperating. lol I'll try it again in a few.  I need one that is 103 inches long, and have looked everywhere, It's going to cost me between 50-80 dollars it looks like, depending on if I do go with the double or just a single. High class problems...lol

  Well, time to get those fajitas started I guess. I'll eat some too, maybe. Unless I decide to make the fried chicken a Sunday meal for us. She likes it when I eat with her...it's always better to break bread and share meals with someone else...

  BTW--Finished the NaNo...woohoo! 2 years running...I'm proud of myself. Still more to write on that story though, so I'm going to take a small break and get back on it.

  Stay warm all. I see that a bad freeze is sweeping across Europe and the upper US too. We had some mild snow flurries yesterday and the day before, but none of it has amounted to much.  We'll get our share...we always do.

  TTFN...

Namaste.

Helllllllllllllllllllooo, March!

I just love this graphic...from interfaith resources. It has the version of the Golden Rule of 6 different faiths:

Baha'i--..choose thou for thy neighbor that which thou choosest for thyself.

Buddhism- Make thine own self the measure of the others, and so abstain from casing hurt to them.

Christianity- And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye to them likewise.

Hinduism- Do not to others what ye do not wish done to yourself; and wish for others too what ye desire and long for, for yourself.

Islam-None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.

Judaism- Love thy neighbor as thyself.

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   The day was grey and blustery, but in the high 30's low 40's.  It was one of those days when you  think it's warm enough for a light to medium weight jacket and then when you get about 10 miles from home, wish you'd worn your real coat. I got some beautiful pineapples today at Aldi's for 99 cents apiece. I got carrots too, and apples and grapefruits and lemons.  I won't use them all at once in juice (WAY too much citrus!!)  but I can mix it up.There were a couple of items on my list that I didn't get (romaine, garlic, ginger)   and a couple of things that I bought that weren't on the list.(gorgonzola cheese and spinach)..  For supper tonight I made a lovely salad with spinach and the last of the romaine, pistachios, gorgonzola, carrot, English cucumber cabbage and onion.  Then I topped it with a freshly made mustard vinaigrette. Yum.  Along with some pork chops in mushroom sauce and mashed garlic potatoes, we ate like kings.

  I went to the market today after going to my sisters...forgetting that it was the 1st. The place was a zoo. Oh well.  I survived (barely)  lol.   Then I came running home and rested a little and got dinner going. Picked up 2 sponslings and went to a mtg tonight...a good one, where we talked about turning our will and our lives over to the care of God.  Had to rush thru dinner, but that's okay.  Tomorrow I will stay home all day, and work on the office walls a little more.  Wednesday I have to head south to another sponslings house for some step work.  And then Sunday is our Area Assembly, where I am to fill in for the DCM as he can't make it. Being the Alt-DCM, it's my job. He has to work shift work every so often and when that happens, he passes me the baton, lol. It's good practice in the event that I am NUTS enough to stand for the chair position next election (November).  I will be chairing the next GSR meeting as well, as he is unavailable that weekend too. The Area meeting is in a city about an hour north of us, so it will be a nice little trip for us. I do service at this level because it keeps me connected to AA. I enjoy it....I know a lot of people don't. 

  I sure will be glad when the weather gets a little nicer and warmer.   Winter is about to get on my last nerve.

  Not much to say tonight, so I shall sally forth to bed.  Sweet dreams and peaceful journeys to all....

Namaste.