Thursday, July 12, 2018

It was the best of times... it was the worst of times...


  I'm having some of those rare burned out days. And naturally, I'm not the only one. At least 2 women in my life are having meltdowns, so my phone is ringing constantly.  People are behaving badly. Hearts are being broken. I'm exhausted, even when I sleep all night.  My friend Dianne died yesterday after a bout with cancer. My new friend Kate is heading back to Massachusetts, so I got to say goodbye to her yesterday. Oh, how I wish she lived here ! I have 2 more major things to do this week and then I'm sort of done for a little while. Sort of. Except that my debit card was hacked and then re-hacked and now my checking account is about a grand lighter than it was and this kind of turmoil is not ideal for people who mostly live paycheck to paycheck. I've been at the bank three times this week. Some of the funds will be recovered. Eventually. And an investigation will ensue. But in the meantime, the car registration (which is 101.00 in Illinois) a speeding ticket (himself) , the 250.00 electric bill and the property taxes are all due. So... there's that.  And there are some solutions available and I'm grateful for that, but all in all, I want to run and hide. lol  But there's an Italian Cream Cake in the oven for a birthday tonight, hummingbird juice on the stove, a dirty house and numerous other paltry things waiting for me, which would still be there when I got back... (unless the cake in the oven burned the house down.. lol)

  Life happens. It's particularly sticky in the electronic age.  But I am re-thinking a lot of things, so there's that.  I'm in the mode of eating everything out of the pantry to save a little money there. Clearing out the fridge.  Making do. "Everything will all be okay in the end... if it is not okay, it is not the end." One of my favorite quotes from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  I may have to shuffle some things around and pay some late penalties, but everything will get paid. We will not go hungry. And unless the guys clearcutting the property next door drop a tree on my house, then we will have a roof over our heads. So... how bad can it be ? (Except in my head, of course).  It can be pretty bad there. lol

  The weather has cooled off some, thank God. Still July-ish temps, but not hell like it was for a bit there. The classic midwest humidity is still there. But feels like a bit of a respite when the temps are only 89.  The AC just now kicked on (almost noon)  because the oven is going, but the cake is almost done. Used the last of my butter to make the cake so gonna have to run to the store and buy some for the frosting. I had everything else to make it. It's a bit of a labor intensive expensive cake that I make from time to time. It's beautiful baked as a layer cake, but I'm almost always transporting it, so I stick with the 9x13 pan.  Lots of coconut and pecans, 5 eggs, 2 sticks of butter... yum. Cream cheese frosting. 

  I need to find myself some food. Haven't eaten yet and I'm starting to feel it.  Been trying to do this 14-16  hours fasting thing to see if it won't kickstart some weight loss. I have lost 20 pounds in 6 months and that doesn't seem like much, but it feels like it. Clothes fit better, bones feel better. lol I'm not giving up yet. I have added some carbs back into my diet though because it didn't feel healthy.  Only changed it up from 20 or less to 50. Just a bit. We'll see what happens. Trying to watch the calories too and eat sensibly.

  Happy Thursday peeps.  The cathartic act of writing this stuff down has provided me with some relief, as it will. I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking it a day at a time and I'm sure that everything will work itself out in the end, as it usually does. 

  I'm going to go do some mindful sweeping outside and inside, because action always helps too. 

  Namaste.

4 comments:

Mama Pea said...

Yes, action does help. But, oh boy, can it be hard to do anything active when you feel like your get-up-and-go has left the building. I know I've been working too hard, non-stop lately and it's affected me. We've had heat and humidity too, even up here in Minnesota. Had heavy rain overnight so all outside is still drippy wet. There's lots I could do inside, but don't seem to have the gumption.

So sorry to hear of your financial problems. What a day we live in when some unknown person can screw up our lives (seemingly) so easily.

This, too, will pass and we'll both be back on the positive track.

Cloudia said...

Blessings to you 🌠

JACKIESUE said...

chin up tits out

DJan said...

I always love your style of writing; it makes me feel like I'm sitting there with you. That is awful about the hack of your bank account. I hope they fix it and it's not too terrible. And I'm sorry to hear of your friend who died. You are definitely going through a rough patch. But congratulations on that 20-pound weight loss, that's good news. :-)