Sunday, February 9, 2014

Sunday...cold, grey and quiet

 I'm a little tired of winter. And snow. And ice. lol  A friend of mine is visiting southern California and keeps sending me these beautiful pictures, and although I don't think I would care to live in SoCal, I am getting antsy to live somewhere where there isn't all this. It got up to 20 today and feels like a heat wave. That is sad.

  Like many places around the country, we have had lots of extreme weather this year. It has made it hard to get around, hard to garden, hard to pay electric bills. My latest bill for winter (and I have propane heat, but do use 1 efficient electric heater in the big bathroom) was about 350 dollars. My electric bill this summer hit about the same from the air running constantly when temps were in the 100's for days on end. We keep our air set at 74 and our heat set at 68.There's apparently a propane shortage in many parts of the country now..we just got a notice that our monthly budget billing amount was going up, and they have apologized and said "Thank you for you cooperation and understanding during this challenging heating season". But our price is still reasonable...not like some.   But when they filled my tank last time, they only filled it to 60%.  It will be interesting to see what happens in the coming months.


  Recuperating. Trying really hard to not overuse my right arm now, just because I can use it some.  Driving 2 days in a row overdid it, I guess (even though I drive an automatic) because last night it hurt all night, and even with pain pills I didn't get much sleep. It's a little better this morning, and I've been taking it easy. I have some reading to do for our discussion group, and when  I snuggled in on the couch with pillows and blankets, I immediately fell asleep. lol  I took a quick ride up to the store this morning and picked up a nice pork roast. Stopped at the dollar store and picked up a few things for a friend whose down on her luck right now...laundry soap and fabric softener, shampoo and conditioner and dish soap. I feel really bad for her, and I have been there, so I know how that kind of hopelessness feels.  I also know how good it feels to be on this end of it...paying it forward, or paying it back for all the earth "angels" that have helped me in times of need. Good for me, good for her...we all win.  Anyway I also got some rubber gloves for doing dishes and keeping my cast dry. lol And bought 2 packages of home made cookies from a cub scout table at the grocery store lobby. Earning money for their blue and gold banquet.

  Came home, seasoned the roast and put it into one of those cooking bags  with red potatoes, carrots, onions and celery. Supper.  The house is filled with yummy smells of comfort food for a cold evening.

  Yesterday was the Irishman's birthday, so we went to his restaurant of choice  (a new Texas Roadhouse that opened near us).  And then to a movie at a theater we rarely patronize because it's so expensive. Saw The Monuments Men. A magnificent movie--5 stars in our opinion, though the critics only gave it two and a half.  I spent as much for the movie tickets, popcorn and soda as I did for dinner for 2 of us. That is ridiculous.  Oh well--special occasion and all that.

  Have a couple of small loads of laundry going. The Irishman says I am not to attempt folding, he will do that.   He needed work shirts and I figured since I didn't do anything yesterday, I should make an attempt at something. lol  The house is in disarray and I am trying to learn to live in it. I know it isn't life and death stuff (yet) but I always feel like I'm not doing my job when it gets like this. I know it's silly. But it's how I'm wired.  I've been through this before on a much grander scale, and I survived that. That time I was hospitalized for weeks and then unable to do anything for months. Taking little baby steps, pushing beyond the pain, doing what I thought I couldn't possibly do...that's how I survived that.  Not listening to people  who said I shouldn't and couldn't.  And don't get me wrong...I appreciate that people think they have my well being in mind. I do.  I just cannot roll over and play dead. This is only a fractured wrist. Not a heart attack.  Not brain cancer.  Not anything like that. If something hurts, I won't do it. If it doesn't, I might be okay. I will take it easy, stop when I must and go when I can. My family keeps calling and chastising me for doing stuff and they are getting on my last nerve. lol  I think that if you are like me, and you have come through some pretty dicey stuff in the past...you understand that it is very important to me that I stay on my feet. That I am willing and able.  That I don't let little things knock me down.

  That said--I know I do have lots to learn about self care and compassion for myself and just what I'm made of. I am not delusional.  Mostly.  LOL

  Alright. I am going back to the couch to read some more. Early in the morning I have to take my car to the body shop and drop it off for repairs. Then in the evening, we have our discussion group. Not going to think too far past that...

  Happy Sunday, everyone. And thanks for being my friends.


Namaste.




8 comments:

Willow said...

I certainly understand where you are coming from with the can do attitude .lol
But do take good care of yourself , allow that little helping hand now and then.

Beth said...

My sis in law slipped on the ice a couple of weeks ago and broke her wrist on her left hand. They put pins in and a plate on. When she had her x-ray on Friday one of the pins had slipped sideways and she has to have the whole procedure done again tomorrow. So Annie, I am telling you this because my sis in law admitted that she found ways to use her left hand (she is left handed) and admits she is probably at fault. PLEASE do take care. HUGS!!

Mama Pea said...

Don't make apologies for being the way you are, Annie. We all have to do what we feel is best for ourselves. What makes us happy. Most of what you do isn't for yourself anyway, it's for others. And that's what makes you such a special person.

Your broken wing could be worse, as you know. A friend of mine fell on the ice a couple of years ago and broke BOTH her wrists. Now there was a situation that led to a LOT of frustration!

Akannie said...

Willow--I feel like all I am doing is asking for help. lol CONSTANTLY.

Oh well...this too shall pass...

(I just wish it would hurry). lol

Akannie said...

Oh, Beth--bless her heart. I was really lucky--one straight clean break across the big bone, no small bones involved, no surgeries or pins or anything.

Akannie said...

Thanks Mama Pea...

And I know--this could have been a lot worse.

I think my bad humour is a combination of things..weather, cabin fever, pain and fear. (How's THAT for a neuroses cocktail ?) lol

heartinhand said...

I'm also someone who can't ask for help, so I totally understand your frustration! Try to take it easy but do what you feel you can handle.
Oh, and Ms. Moon's blog, I think, is the place you found me.

Akannie said...

HnH...that is it. Mz Moon's blog. Aha. Thanks for coming by. It is getting a little better--both the arm, and my taking it easier. HAH!

I made a joke on Facebook, that if I could find someone I didn't know, and would never have to see again, then I would pay them, to clean my house. (I thought it was funny)~~~ 5 women immediately offered to come here and clean. One just showed up.
No way in hell is somebody else cleaning up this mess. LOL