Tuesday, February 4, 2014

..and the arm bone's connected to the...

  Okay. I know I said it was probably gonna be fun and games the next few days, but boy--was I wrong. It's been kinda horrible.  It's been a lot of pain, annoyances, frustration and crap.  It's been a few meltdowns. It's been way too much swearing and crying.  It's been an emotional roller coaster.

  I can barely dress myself.  I  can't put my combs or barrettes or ponytail holders in my hair. I can't get the lids off jars. I can't use a can opener. I can't tie my shoes.  I can't wash the dishes.  (Okay, that might not be so bad...).  I can't use the dustpan, although I am getting pretty good at wielding a broom with my one left hand.  You should have seen me trying to fold a tablecloth.  I took a long arduous shower last night. Hubby wrapped the splint up real good so no water could get in...it was heaven.

  The splint inside where my fingers poke out is itching like crazy. And it's starting to smell. It's driving me crazy. My arm itches horribly.

  And maybe the worst part is...when I'm outside, I'm afraid. Afraid of falling. Afraid of hitting my arm on something.

  And, of course, it hurts. And it hurts in 2 or 3 different places, which scares me. I have a pretty high pain threshold and this is killing me at times. I pulled out the xrays and can see the break...but there is pain in one or two other places that aren't where that break is.  And here's the other part of this story:

  At urgent care, they gave me instructions and told me to call an ortho first thing Monday morning. They recommended one, but told me I could go to anyone I chose, just go. Well, bright and early I start calling, but nobody seems to be as excited about all this as I am.  My first choice goes to VM, I dutifully leave my info and sit back and wait. When I haven't received a call back in 2.5 hours, I start to panic, and call another one.  They can't get me in until NEXT WEEK. But, but..I sputter--my wrist is broken !  Cluck cluck, my my--it's the best we can do.  Then I call the one that the clinic recommended, even though I don't want the guy they recommended. I ask about one of the other doctors there, but she [snottily] inform me that I have to see Dr X, because he's the one on weekend call.  ?????????????  But it's Monday. "Well, it wasn't Monday when you broke it, was it ?"  WHAT !?!?!?!?!  So, I begrudgingly say okay, because I have to see somebody, right ?   She says he'll see me Thursday. I almost scream at her that I broke it on Saturday...and she icily says  (I kid you not) TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.  By now I am nearing meltdown and I swear am trying to control myself...and mumble I'll take it and get off the phone and I cry.  And my hand hurts.  And I go lay on the couch with my fleece blanket and I cry.

  Know this about me : it [usually] takes a lot to make me cry. But I am hurting and vulnerable and scared.

  Then the phone rings and it is my first choice, Dr. Shepperson's office, returning my call. And she says that the dr pulled my records and xrays already, and wants to see me ASAP...however, the report from Urgent Care said there was a lot of swelling, and he wants to give it a couple of days for that to go down before he casts it. He is in surgery all day Tuesday, and is at the satellite office on Wednesday, so the soonest he can see me is Thursday. I ask where the satellite office is and she says it's at the Urgent Care building.That's closer to me, I say.(And a day sooner--I don't say).  She goes away a minute to ask him if they have all the stuff there he would need for me and BOOM! I now have an appointment for tomorrow. With the dr I wanted . 20 minutes closer to my house. and she was so nice, I almost cried again.


  And this morning it started snowing and hasn't stopped. So far we have probably close to 9 or 10 inches. They have actually been down our road at least twice with the snow plow and salt truck. The snow is supposed to stop overnight...say a PRAYER THAT WE CAN GET OUT BY TOMORROW AFTERNOON AND GET TO THE DOCTOR.  (Sorry about the caps, lol, but I just can't go back and redo it...it's taking forever as it is...this one handed one finger typing is for the birds.)

  The sling is really hurting my neck and shoulder injuries from the accident on the 21st, so I'm not using it much.

  Last night I made a batch of chili for supper and couldn't open the cans of chili beans. The boy came in and did it for me. Tonight I pulled a package of chicken thighs out of the freezer, baked them, boiled some red potatoes with the jackets on, and opened a jar of home canned green beans.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Also did 2 loads of laundry. In between, I laid around, read, watched a movie and was on the computer.

All with my right arm in the air...keeping that bad boy elevated.

  'Cause that's how I roll.



DJan said...

Oh Annie, this all sounds absolutely awful. I do so hope they are able to get you fixed up with some pain meds and get that wrist casted. And that you are even able to get there. I'm amazed you typed all this so well, even fixed dinner. You are an amazing person.

Mama Pea said...

Hugs, hugs, hugs! This is all so very hard for you because you normally (and regularly) do so much and aren't a person to sit around and wait for someone else to do it. But you know this already. Once you get to see the doctor, get your arm casted, good pain meds and know the healing has actually begun, it will be better. You're correct to be "scared" when outside. This has all been an unsettling (is that too mild a word?) event emotionally but also physically (well, duh, yes!) because your body and balance are thrown off 'cause you're walking around with a broken wing! Don't hesitate to let off steam here. That's what we're our job is . . . to listen and give support in any way we can.

P.S. As I said above, I know it's not in your nature, but if you will stop trying to do so much, the frustration will lessen. (This is the pot calling the kettle black, of course!)

Akannie said...

DJan..the truth is that I'm an idiot. LOL I'm such a do-er and so tied up is my identity with that, ...that I am doing things I maybe shouldn't be doing. Luckily for me, the pain stops me. lol

Maybe that's the whole deal in all this---LEARN TO BE A HUMAN BE-ING, AND NOT A HUMAN DO-ING.


Mariodacatsmom said...

OMC girl - what a nightmare for you. My heart is breaking at all you have had to go through. I sometimes wonder if the people working in doctor's offices really care about the patient. They could be a little nicer and diplomatic and helpful. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Akannie said...

Mama Pea...I know you're right-about everything. I know from experience that taking an action will always help my mental state.

I really am having a lot of downtime. And computer time. And do feel so buoyed up by my friends. I'm just not good at being a patient OR at being patient sometimes.

My sweet sweet son has shoveled out the driveway so we can get out. Got another 11 inches of snow last night. He is driving me to the dr today. He has been here doing all the outside stuff and half the inside stuff...and the Irishman is cleaning up all the dishes every night after he gets off work and is [trying to] wait on me hand and foot. And I am so grateful...and so blessed.

Akannie said...

Mary--the office I went to today was wonderful. It was almost like the Universe saying to me--don't go there--with that other one. lol

It will get better. I got my real cast today, the dr was awesome. All 4 fingers and thumb are freed now,and that makes a world of difference. Still can't do much with the right hand, but it's not totally useless now.

Rubye Jack said...

When I started reading I thought about how you really are a "do-er" and how terribly hard this must be for you. Me? I'd take the pain pills and lie around all day watching tv. I can't believe that person told you "take it or leave it". It seems more and more medical offices are getting that attitude, but it is such a blessing when people are nice and can help take care of you. I'm glad it all worked out for you today and hope you will let yourself get some R & R. Maybe you will find a new you. :)

Akannie said...

RJ...but...I don't want a new me. I'm not the type to lay around and watch tv (we don't have tv except for dvd player and movies). My physical injuries from 2001 preclude any amount of sitting or lying in one time/place, so I putter a lot. Productive puttering, lol
This is all a matter of slowing down and learning to do some things in a different way...AND taking a look at myself, for sure. But mostly (I think) about why it's still so hard for me to let people help me, without me feeling like it's some kind of judgement about my capabilities.

And believe me, I'm getting more R&R than I ever wanted. There's another 10 inches of snow on the ground. Can't go out much when it's -5 degrees.
I'm gonna go make some banana bread from those rotten (I mean--ripe!) bananas in the kitchen.

Susan said...

Oh, you poor kid! It is so frustrating!!! Even so, just repeat after me - I MUST let people help me so that I can heal. And who the heck hired Nurse Rachet - the one who told you to take it or leave it? She needs to go count pills in the back room - keep her away from the phone. I hope you are getting some relief - even if it's just finding someone who cares. You just keep checking in with us so we can keep you going until spring... xoxox

Akannie said...


~~How's that? lol

Thanks Susan...it really is getting better, especially having fingers today so I can balance/stabilize things I'm doing with my left hand.