Cuckoo!! Cuckoo!!

I don't know what the Sam Hill is going on in my brain, but I am starting to be concerned by some of the goofiness.  Last night after I went to bed, I kept seeing a computer game that I play behind my closed eyelids. I was ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAME...  in my head.  WTH??  It took me a while to get to sleep. 

  Maybe I have a brain tumor.

  I'm mad at my husband again.  I've not returned about 4 phone calls in the last week that I really should, but just don't want to. And I don't know why.  

   It's Thursday, and I spent my whole day off cleaning and doing laundry and cooking and never left the house, except for one short foray into the back yard and then around to the garage to look in the freezer.

  Himself came home, jumped in the shower and left again. And DID NOT EAT THE FOOD I COOKED.  Took a peanut butter sandwich with him to eat on the way.  After he was gone, I said (out loud, to the dogs and cats) I'LL NEVER COOK HIM ANOTHER MEAL. HE CAN DO HIS OWN LAUNDRY. And I thought, I think I'll take off and go somewhere about a half hour before he gets back. And stay gone. And that'll show him.

  And I cried a little. And then I ate my supper, alone, in front of the television.  When he came back home 3 and a half hours later, I acted like a child and mostly just ignored him.

  It must be a tumor.

   Because the TRUE story here, is that he wanted to go to the open mic night at the Jacoby Storehouse, and had said he might go and I could come with him and I said I didn't know. He said he would see how he felt when he got off work. He said this a couple of days ago.

  Well, hell's bells. I forgot.  And cooked a beautiful supper of  Pepper steak and baked potatoes and salad. And when he walked in and looked at the table (that was all set) he said..oh...uh....I was going to go to the JSH...and I just looked at him and said--do whatever you want. He said, well...I guess I could just stay home tonight...and I said--hey, don't do ME any favors. If you want to go--GO.

  You can see how silly this is. 

  Except...he WENT. He asked me to make him a pb&j sandwich to eat in the car, so he could shower.  And I did.  See, he doesn't get home from work until about 6:10. These things start at 6:30. And it's a 30 minute drive to get there.  I hate that rushing around and flying down the road. I won't do it, most of the time.  It is not fun for me.

   And I got mad. 

  Maybe it's not a tumor.  Maybe it's that brain eating amoeba that people in Louisiana got from using a neti pot.  Whatever it is, I can't keep getting all crazy like this.  I'm not getting enough sleep and I'm still coughing and I feel so overwhelmed by my life that it scares me.  

    Whatever it is, it can't be being helped by these 2 AM nights I've been keeping.  I need to set a plausible sleep schedule and stick to it.  It almost feels like the early stages of menopause ALL OVER AGAIN. And if that's the case, I'll shoot myself in the head, I swear.  Because I don't ever want to do that again.

   This may be the craziest blog post yet...

Namaste.

Another Wicked Wednesday

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I am being nibbled to death by the 7 Dwarves of menopause, for some reason...especially itchy and sweaty. And I cannot sleep and so I guess I'm gonna try one of those over the counter remedies for the insomnia and hot flashes and night sweats. First thing tomorrow. This is crazy.

Maybe it's TMI (too much information) but I don't care. lol For crying out loud, I had a hysterectomy over 20 years ago. Is this s&^t EVER going to stop ???? I've been going through this for 2 decades. There oughtta be a law....


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Ah....and back to the pleasant part of our program.....teehee...

There are now NO signs of the blue pipe...it's all been laid to rest and covered up. My husband moved the stake so that they will dig a straight trench to the water hookups for the house. Apparently they will actually bring it to within 5 feet of the house. That will save us a LOT of $$ with the plumber. I guess he talked to the water people today on his lunch hour. However...I am skeptical about it, as you have to really look to see where he moved it, and the guy has already been up and down our driveway several times. I hope that I'm home the next time he comes, just in case. The thing is, I KNOW men....they can't even find their clean socks in the clean socks drawer. And I am afraid he's hidden it too well out there...even if the guy is an engineer type. *grin


I made juice today for the next 5 days. And made an incredible mess as well. lol It's just a messy job, there's no getting around it. Cucumbers, celery, carrots, red apples, pineapple and lemons. Tastes quite yummy. The clean-up afterwards is especially tough with no running water. But, as usual, I managed it. Supper tonight was....rice and romano cheese and oregano and butter stuffed baked zucchini with a medley of garden veggies: green beans, okra, carrots, peppers and mushrooms. I also dug and steamed some fingerling potatoes, served hot with butter and fresh ground black pepper. I'm still full....and it's almost midnight. lol

Lost my checkbook back on the first of the month, and didn't realize it until today. It dropped as I was getting in the car at Pappy's Market, and only had my old house phone number on the checks, so he couldn't figure out how to call me, he said, and was just waiting for me to come in again for dogfood...he knew that wouldn't be long. lol We only have cell numbers now, and they aren't listed anywhere...

Time for me to count my blessings, count some sheep and try to get about 5 hours sleep before I have to get my day going. Just got a call from the hysterical mother of the hysterical sponsee (who, according to mom, is drunk again and off on a motorcycle with some guy). I said, Uh, excuse me--it's 11:45 PM...what do you think I am going to do? I'm going to bed, and suggest you do the same. lol

Thank goodness, I don't have to live that insane drunken life ever again. Thank goodness I have built a support system of women that I listen to and can talk to when life gets crazy. Thank Goodness I have solutions that exceed the power of scotch.

Thank goodness....


Namaste.

Tuesday's tinkerings

Hee hee hee...That's me on the end. (oh, hell. They're all me--like Sybil)lol

A day full of blessings. Found our wayward lost puppy after a fretful and emotional 5 hours of searching. Made up with hubby and he apologized for "being such a butt". Got my laundry all washed and hung out on the line to dry (which it didn't, because I was too late getting it out. SO--it's still there, and will dry all day tomorrow.) Got the furniture all vacuumed. Had a couple of lovely phone calls from my youngest grandson, who was coming to stay on Friday night, and then it was changed by his mom to Saturday, and then it was changed again to both Friday AND Saturday. lol NO matter what...I WIN!!!! He's such a little Prince. The email from his mom this morning read "I understand that Tristan has arranged for you to pick him up after achool...." He's his own social secretary. He's very excited because he asked could we go this thing at his school on Saturday...it's a Fun Faire...and it will be really FUN, Nana....can we go?? And Grandpa said, well, we could probably use a little FUN! SO we're on for it.

Grandchildren are the reward you get for not KILLING your own kids.

I am blessed. I am now in debt to St Jude and God and Buddha and all the Powers That Be for the safe return of my little Caylee. I had a terrible dream that woke me up this morning...I was holding her, and she was sopping wet and had mud or poop or something all over her backside, and she was whimpering and talking to me...she was hurt, and she kept saying "It's my gut (or my butt--I couldn't be sure.)" Anyway, it freaked me out--and when I got up and came out, I found out she was gone. SO I was tripley menopausally emotional about the whole thing.

Today, I am blessed to be a grandma and the mommy of a new puppy and the caretaker of more animals than I care to admit to. I am blessed to be the person someone called because she's looking for a home for a homeless woman who just came out rehab. I'm blessed to have friends who email and say what's up? I'm blessed to be the go-to girl when people need information about certain things.

I'm grateful to be a sober woman, skidding along the information superhighway on her butt...and loving the ride (in spite of the gravel). lol

Nite all....