Egg Salad Days

  Sigh... I just put an almost 500 dollar electric bill payment in the mail.  I cannot keep this up.  We had bitter cold temps the past 2 months for days on end.  We are held hostage by an electric cooperative that charges us outrageous sums of money for electric.  My car is in the shop getting new brakes. Last month we had an 800 dollar truck repair bill and now it is on the fritz again.  I'm trying to breathe in and breathe out and just stay where my feet are. I am okay, right here , right now. I am tired of struggling to make ends meet and I am tired of all the work and all the animals and everything.  Rant over.


   Time to stop buying groceries for a while and live out of my pantry totally again.  I will have to buy eggs now and again because I have no chickens. But otherwise... I am boiling some eggs now to make egg salad. I can eat that on the low carb diet.  And it's a cheap meal. I remember a time when I was so poor, all I had to eat was eggs and bread. I ate eggs: fried eggs, scrambled eggs, egg salad, hard boiled eggs.  And I lived. lol  And I will survive this time too, because that's what I am. A survivor.

   I drive a 21 year old car.  I live in a doublewide with an attached garage. On some dirt out in the country. There is nothing fabulous about my life.  Mostly.  Sometimes I have to talk it up to myself.  Look at the things that make me happy (gardens, space). Be grateful for the things I do have.  Trust that tomorrow will be better. This financial insecurity is killing me. Or not. Maybe I'm just a drama queen.  Lots of people have it worse than me, I know this for a fact. But today I am flailing about, trying to understand how, at my age, it can be like this.  It's not like I didn't work most of my life. It's not like I am wasteful or extravagant. And somedays, probably like a lot of people, I feel like throwing in the towel.


    So, for now, the eggs are boiling away in the kitchen, the cat has just knocked over my big pot of aloe vera plants and scattered dirt all over the office, the puppy wants to eat the dirt and has pooped in the floor twice after being outside for an hour.    I cannot house break this defective dog and it's driving me insane. Of all the animals I have had over the years, I have not experienced this. We have had her almost a year...I don't know what to do. Except constantly clean up carpets. Because, of course, she never pees or poops on the wood floors.  Sigh...


    I need to find some kind of work. I am looking into a company called Upworks which my friend works for...and that may be a fit. I can work from home. In my sweatpants. lol   I am trying to navigate their site and reading some tutorials about getting started with them.  Hoping it will turn into something that helps.


    So...til then, I'll eat my egg salad and make a concerted effort to not buy anything more than what I absolutely need for a while. Staying home and cutting down on the gas bill (himself may be having to take my car to work anyway if his gets worse).  Turn down the thermostat (why does 60 in the spring feel so much warmer than 60 in the house in winter ?)  some more.  Cut some corners where I can.  You think you live a frugal life, but you can always find more ways to cut costs...


  Welcome back, egg salad days.  It will be alright...eventually.