Today is destined for greatness.
lol Temps in the mid to high 70's with NO rain. Sunshine. Lilies are popping up everywhere, daffodils are blooming, the yards and fields around here are going green. That gorgeous rich spring green that makes your heart sing. Today I will throw open the windows and turn on the ceiling fans and sweep and dust and then go meet an old friend for lunch. Then I'll pop in and vote on my way out of town to go buy chicken feed and shop at Aldi's (they're right across the street from one another). Then I'll come home, drop off the wheelchair I didn't use last weekend and take a nap probably. lol
The conference went off with only a few minor glitches, and although it pretty much used me up, I had a ball. Met lots of new people, re-connected with others I haven't seen in a while. Had some good food and a bit of a spiritual experience. Not a bit. A major shifting of something inside me. I know I talked about feeling this happening last post (or before), but apparently this past Saturday I was exactly in the right place at the right time in the right frame of mind. I'm not ready to talk too much about it yet, but believe me, the time will come when I will. Right now, I feel like one of my gallon jars of KimChi...sitting on the counter bubbling away. When the fermentation time is right, it will roar out of me like a geyser.
...meanwhile, back at the ranch...lol
I came home the other day and went out back to check on my chickens because they were acting a little funny. Not distressed really, but not quite right. I got back there and on the other side of the run there were 2 gorgeous wild (I guess??) turkeys. One white, one a rusty brown. They are presently hanging out like they live here...it's crazy. I put some scratch grains out for them and they seem content to hang out and scrabble in the dirt.
The longer I sit here and write, the more I am avoiding all this stuff I need to do. lol I need to pick up potato and onion sets as they need to be put in the ground soon. Looks like the temps are planning to stay in the 50's and 60's from here on out, so that means it's time for gardening plans to be put on the table. I was out there this morning and the chives are up. The trees are budding. The world is shifting into grow mode.
Okay. It's after 9 and I am lunching at 11:30. Time for action. Still having a bit of muscle and ligament pain. but have been discharged from all home health services. (It's my excuse for everything) Yesterday I started PT with my guy in the next town over.
I have high hopes. This is going to be a great summer....
Namaste
I am trying to stay awake later and later. I have gotten my sleep patterns all goofy because of the surgery pain and the pain medications and all that jazz. Everyone says "Go Slow" and "Take it easy" and I really have been...but the problem is that I am sleeping a lot and going to bed way early (for me) and then I am walking the floors at 3AM because I am awake and my muscles are cramping from laying too much and my brain is racing. lol Last night I stayed up til after 1...then for some reason I woke up at 3. And then went back to bed at 5 and got up at 7 because I had some places to go. Long story short, I was so freaking exhausted that when I did get home this afternoon, I lay down and slept the sleep of the dead for over 2 hours. And I am still tired. lol
Life is slowly getting back to normal; A new normal. but nonetheless...
Today (7th) was my darling girl's birthday. When she was alive, we always got together for her and my birthdays. So many little things that change and sadden and tear your heart out when you lose a loved one. I texted both her kids and said I love you. I know this will be hard for them. I hate it when you lose someone so close to holidays and birthdays and such. She passed on the 12th, and their Valentine's Day will always be marked by her passing... and so close to her birthday too (within a month). I called my brother at home a few days ago to check on him and the answering machine picked up and it was her voice and I started bawling...felt like someone punched me in the gut. I could barely leave a message. All these things will ease with time, but time seems to be all warped for me right now.
Had the PT at the house today and I was complaining that all this is taking so long and everything is going so slow...and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said--honey. You're only 3 weeks out of a major surgery. You're doing great. And I was---what ? Feels like it's been 3 months. The knee is doing great and the only pain I really have is the soft tissue damage from all the manipulating of muscle and tendon that they have to do to get knees in and knees out. It's almost more severe discomfort than pain, but I still don't like it. lol I will be discharged from Home Health this week, do 8-10 weeks of outpatient PT and get to working in my garden. lol
Spring is showing itself around these parts. We supposedly have some serious rain coming the next 3-4 days. It was almost 70 degrees today, but cloudy. Just enough sun to make you happy. lol I opened up the house to blow the stink out and turned off the furnace. At almost 1 AM it's still 58 degrees out there. How weird is that. I just looked and now they're saying no rain tomorrow, but moderate rain Wed-Thur-Fri. We'll see,
I'm going to head for bed here in a bit and see what happens. One of the local markets is having their big 10 for 10 sale and have both carrots (2 lb pkgs) and celery on sale. I need more dehydrated celery as I'm down to my last jar. And I was thinking about canning some carrots. So I'll be making a quick trip to the market in the morning I think. We'll see how the night goes. Sometimes I get so little sleep that I wind up napping off and on for much of the day. That's a habit I need to break./ lol
Alright. I'm outta here....
Namaste
CRazy crazy weather...last night when I put the dogs out the last time before heading for bed, it was still almost 40 degrees. It had reached a high of nearly 60. At 3:30 (apparently) it started snowing and by 8 AM we had upwards of 6 inches. It was a heavy wet snow and the Irishman and the boyo could not get out to go to work. (they tried). lol By 3 PM the roads had all melted off , as well as the driveway and sidewalks where they had shovelled. It stayed in the 40's and rainy all day and there's still a little snow in the grass but that's about it. Only supposed to get to 19 Friday and then the temps start climbing again. Sigh...
I am up at 3 AM, unable to sleep or lie quietly so I had to leave the bedroom.
Got the knee replacement done on the 17th and it went without a hitch. Mostly. lol No blood clot issues anyway. GUess the knee was crooked and they had to practically alligator-wrestle that bad boy out of there after they sawed the bone. So my thigh and calf are very bruised and black and blue Quite the sight to see. Recovery is going well...had surgery on Wednesday and left the hospital on Friday.Going in tomorrow for a post op check up that is usually dome at 2 weeks but it will only be 1. Not sure if he'll take the stitches out or not, but I am having home health and PT both in so maybe the nurse can take them out as he has shuffled the post op appointments due to a "conferences curriculum" or something silly. lol I just took a couple of more pain pills, so will be heading back to bed shortly. My friend Kat is driving me to the appointment tomorrow. We have to leave around noon for the 2:30 appt. We'll have lunch after..I'm ready to get out of the house. lol
My beloved sister surrendered in her battle with cancer on February 12th. She was a courageous woman and there is a gaping hole in the heart of my family. Because it was so close to my surgical date the drs didn't want me attending any big gatherings because of viral infection risk--the last thing I needed was a bug that could turn into pneumonia during the sedentary recuperation period after one of these things.. so I did not get to attend the memorial service. We are slowly getting our lives back in order, and as these things always are, it is up one day and down the next. Like any family that suffers these dreadful events, we are exhausted, ragged and leaning on each other to get by. Her children are crazy brave and hurt and devastated. No matter what, you are never ready for these things...even when you know they are coming.
I wanted to post because I have been MIA for a few weeks and this short month is slipping away quickly. I am blessed to have friends who are helping out here and bringing food and offering rides and such-- not that I have been out yet. But as time ekes on I feel better and am healing and will soon be up and running full speed ahead! The farm store flyer came out with the sales beginning on seed potatoes and onion sets and the baby chicks are in the stores. lol Spring is coming and before you know it, we'll all be up to our knees in garden work. I am so ready...this has been a rough year. I am ready for the new start that spring will bring. The pantry is beginning to look a little bare, the lilies are starting to pop through the snow and the promise of a new beginning is in the buds of the fruit trees.
Time for me and walker to head back to the other end of the house. lol Stay tuned for the saga of old Annie and her new knees... the upcoming conference...gardens and canning and more.,
Namaste.
Check out those shoes. I was a fashionista even in 1953. lol
Someone in my family posts lots of old pictures on Facebook and I'm always muttering under my breath to not post any of me from about age 9 til..oh, NOW. I dislike having my picture taken. I am not a really good looking woman and maybe I never was, but there are some times I was even ridiculous looking. I am not photogenic. I run from cameras. lol This picture though, I can live with. I thought that maybe to set it all to rest, I should just pick out the maybe 5 pictures in my whole life that I can live with and splash across a page somewhere. The problem with that, naturally, is that I am just old enough that most of those pictures are not digital, but yellowed pieces of developed film. I could still take pictures of the pictures (and I have done that a few times) but it seems like an awful lot of work. So here is little Annie at the happy and tender age of 10 months. Before any other siblings came along. I was an only child, and it was GOOD. My parents were thrilled to be parents, since my mother had been told she would never have children. (They were wrong). I was loved and exhibited and praised and told that I could do or be anything I wanted to be. Life was good. And then a second child came 2 years later. And then another and another and another. And then one more. And my idyllic world came to an end. Oh well. Isn't that the way of it ? lol
Fast forward 20 years. About 1974. Me, as usual, in the kitchen. This was a big old OLD farmhouse--one of the best places I have ever lived in so many ways. Living on a wing and a prayer...like you can do when you're young.
Again...later in 1974
About 1978 I think...look how fast my hair grows (grew) lol
Another 20 year jump through time and space and I am 40. Sober. In love with this Irish guy I met. Part of all that bulk is a big sweatshirt. But some of it is me. Post menopause, sober and eating, and content. The perfect recipe for 35 pounds. lol
2014. With my beloved sis, who was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer right before this picture. Not the best picture of me (again) but a lot of love right there.
Around the same time. Me with the infamous broken wrist. lol And my pal Micki
And last (but certainly not least) my knee last September. Let's hear it for spare parts... Edited to add (how could I have forgotten this ??)-- The knee surgery is set to happen a week from tomorrow. The 17th. That's assuming I can pass the pre-op physical. (Pretty sure about that). WOO HOO !!!!!!
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Lordy. What an exercise in ego drive !! Or something. It's interesting looking back at life...and knowing that I am destined to be an old woman with no regrets. And it really makes me think of all the pictures I have lost...although some are still on hard drives of a couple of old computer towers I have sitting in the closet. Someday...someday ...
Namaste
The weather around these parts of the prairie has been so odd. We meandered out of January with temps up to 70 on a couple of days. We have started off February with temps in the 60's. Today it is grey and rainy and peaceful. And warm. Way too warm for February. Strange stuff...supposed to have a little cold spell and then warm back up into the 50's. Mother Nature is being a bit petulant. The good news is the chickens are still laying full force, mostly, and the bad news is that the trees are starting to bud. If a big freeze comes back it will wreak havoc. But...nature will have it's way and there's not much we can do about it. Except maybe to learn to roll with the punches...
Not much to report on this end. The world rolls along as is it's way..times change and people come and go. My sister-in-law is still hanging in there. The cancer that ravages her brain circles around and around. She is losing her cognitive skills and her muscle activity. No word yet on my surgery scheduling. la la la la la...
Was reading something this morning about a young doctor who left the profession because he aid he couldn't bear watching people being made poorer and sicker by the commonly used medical treatments. So now he is a permaculture farmer and works in a free clinic giving medical care. Wouldn't it be a grand thing if that happened more often ? Think of how it would feel to live in a society where people followed their consciences and had the integrity to stand up to the money changers ? I heard last night on NPR that several big cancer medications are coming to the end of their patents and the result will be a BIG decrease in cost of these drugs. Like 30% (is that big??) So now the particular drug they were talking about will only be 180.00 A PILL. ONE PILL. It made me want to scream. It made me want to rise up and cry out to the profiteering makers of these things, and to the doctors who prescribe them. It made me want to...
...plant an organic garden. Keep drinking pure spring water. Pay attention to what I put in and on my body and where I live and watch the stress and do whatever in the hell else I can to be healthy. And maybe I need another dog. A puppy. And start writing again and doing some more creative artsy things. And praying more. And loving more. And doing whatever I can, wherever I can and whenever I can to make this world a safer better place. What was it Mother Teresa said ? Not all of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love. So my goal for the new year is to do all the small things I can. And to love more and judge less. And to listen more and talk less. And to share whatever I can with whomever might need it.
Like most people probably, I know what I should do. I know that the thing that stops me often is inconvenience or fear or indifference. I don't want to be that person who is afraid of not having enough for myself so I don't share what I have. I don't want to be that person who looks the other way when others are being mistreated or hurt. I don't want a life in which I feel inconvenienced by someone in my path .
I want abundance. I want prosperity. I want to share this world with everyone in it. And be secure in my place too. I want the sick cared for, in a compassionate and reasonable manner. I want the hungry to be fed. I want children and adults alike to know love. And security. And peace.
Imagine....
Namaste
It's way past my bedtime but I can't sleep. I'm working on a conference program and it's driving me crazy. I'm just not computer literate enough, I guess. I finally got the template I need from someone in another town though, so hopefully this will solve my problems. Grrr,,,
I had a relatively relaxed and peaceful day...today was one of my twice a month volunteer days in the office and I puttered around the house up until tie to leave. Not enough time for a project or anything (like canning apples), but enough time to make supper so that when I get home about 20 minutes after himself, I can heat some stuff and finish off the vegetables (green beans tonight) and we can eat by 7. I baked some chicken thighs and cooked some quinoa. Swept the wood floors. Cleaned the chicken coop and was off by 1:15.
Lots on my mind today. Going down to see my sister-in-law and spend time with my brother and niece tomorrow (today). I had baked an oatmeal spice cake Monday for a friends birthday and posted a picture of it on Facebook and she saw it and said--ohhh you know how much I love that cake... lol.
So her old auntie will bake one early tomorrow morning and take it down for her. It's an easy cake and has a broiled frosting on it, which goes on while the cake is still warm. My sister-in-law's sister has been here from California and I guess she's going back home on Friday. I'll get the skinny tomorrow. I may be spending a lot of time down there and maybe some over-nighters if my brother needs me. She is still hanging on, bless her heart. Can barely sit up and can't stand much at all anymore, her muscle tone is fading fast. Hospice is there to help as much as they can. Life on life's terms. Thanks for any prayers you can send this way.
How did I allow myself to get into this conference thing ? lol It is a kind of big deal and lots of work organizing and presenting these things. I am only the co-chair at least. But there are a million little things that have to be followed up on and done and re-done. Negotiations with the venue itself (which has been a nightmare) juggling costs and trying to find volunteers to help with all the different committees. I keep telling myself to just breathe...the dates for it are in March (11th and 12th) and the time is flying by suddenly. My worst fear is that the docs will sudden;y agree to do my second knee replacement and it will fall in the middle of all this. lol You KNOW which choice I will make...commitment be damned. I want to be pain free and able to walk and kneel by spring garden time.
My latest INR was 2.3 That might mean a surgery date. Fingers crossed.
I just realized a bit ago that in a couple of days I will have been blogging here for 7.5 years. Is that crazy or what ??? Not well or regularly, necessarily...but still. 7.5 years people !!! wowza
I listened to an interview on NPR today...Terry Gross (Fresh Air) doing an interview with a scientist who wrote a book about the brain. Stress. meditation, etc. It was very interesting and renewed my motivation to really get back into the Mindfulness meditation practices. So very good for one's body and mind and soul.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/01/26/464372009/how-meditation-placebos-and-virtual-reality-help-power-mind-over-body
I am also getting back into the study group out at the ecological center (I took a hiatus) and we are going to be watching a series called Inner World Outer World. The first day of it will fall on the Irishman's birthday, February 8th. There's also the annual winterfire coffeehouse coming up out there this Saturday. It's always a good time. I have missed those people. A lot.
OKay...I am dragging this old butt to bed. It's 2 AM and I have to get up early tomorrow. Hope you're all dreaming of spring...
Namaste
For some reason I have had a quote from English author J.B. Priestly on my mind...
" I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning."
This was a day of ... curious and interesting phenomenon. I didn't sleep well last night-tossing and turning and flipping and flopping around. Hot flashes causing me to kick off the blankets and then the chill from winter's cold causing me to grab them all back up again. We keep our bedroom rather cool and the nighttime temps here have been in the single digits. I was in bed around midnight and then up at 7:30 this morning with a full day planned. I did go out and do most of the things I had planned but skipped the evening portion because I was just tired enough to be cranky and to really be feeling the stress on my knee. I looked at canes today, but didn't buy one. The jury is still out. lol Hoping to hear from my ortho doc this coming week. The regular doc is back from his vacation and I should have a new set of blood test results in on Monday, so hopefully they will communicate and I will get a surgery date set.
In the meantime, my husband surprised me today with a collector's gift box set of George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire that the Game of Thrones series is based on. I nearly had a seizure when I (Frugal Freida) saw what he paid for it. He got a bonus at work this year and most of it went into the New Roof Fund, but he kept a small portion of it and bought me these books. What a guy, huh ?
The snows are melting finally, although we still have quite a bit. Temps the next few days are supposed to be in the low 40's, and rain on Monday, so that will take care of it. Then of course we have flash flood warnings. lol Never a dull moment here on the prairie. Strange weather, without a doubt.
Watched a good film tonight called My Old Lady, starring Maggie Smith, Kevin Kline and Kristen Scott-Thomas. It was set in Paris and turned out to be better than I expected. Then (since it was early) we watched another episode of Downton Abbey. I really am liking that show. It is hard to turn it off and not finish a disc, but it was almost 10 by the time we finished that episode and so-off it went. I did up the supper dishes and cleaned up the pudding mess I'd made. Found a can of organic coconut milk in the pantry and between that and making up the rest of the quart with coconut milk that we use for cereal...I made a lovely coconut pudding, topped with more toasted coconut. nice supper of comfort food--roast pork and gravy. mashed potatoes and then pudding. Even though it was still warm (the pudding) it was delightful. We LOVE coconut...
I have to bake a birthday cake on Monday for a friend. I have to make a townie run tomorrow because I have a friend who has a bunch of business work clothes she can't wear because she's lost weight and is giving them to me to pass on to another friend who is job hunting and has gained weight and none of her clothes fit anymore. Just spreading the love around, folks. lol
My taxes were ready to be picked up today. The federal money should be deposited with 7 days, but-they said- God alone knows when the great state of Illinois is going to pay people's refunds. Possibly by May, but don't hold your breath. This state is a mess, like many other states in this country lately. Like many other countries in this world. Interesting things happening around the globe...I think about shifting paradigms and balances of power and wonder if I will live to see how this movie turns out. Something has to change, that's for sure.
As for me, I shall go to bed now and dream of bright days and the follies of my youth and the upcoming gardens of spring. I am already drowning in seed catalogs. It had to happen....
Namaste
