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Oh my gawd....I have been visited today by these little charmers....
It's been one of those days like my first sponsor told me about:
She said, "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, now that you're sober, you get to feel all your feelings. The bad news is that now that you're sober, you get to feel ALL your feelings."
I can't decide what's going on with me. The day started on a bad note when I awakened to find the furnace running full bore and the front door wide open. The culprit, of course, was one Miss Molly Mayhem, who has learned to open the door when she wants in by throwing herself against it. If it is closed properly and securely latched, she can't do it. But often that door gets pulled closed and doesn't quite latch. So there it was, and there she was--sitting on the couch looking very pleased with herself.
Then my coffee pot filter basket got somehow stuck, and as coffee water filled the basket, it had no where to go except run down the sides of the maker and all over my counter. This constitutes an emergency at my house. But I decided to forego calling the Starbucks support team, and cleaned it up and tried it again. It was purely operator error. The second time was a charm, although by now I was grinding my teeth and muttering.
THEN....I got a call from my neighbor across the pond, telling me that Molly had bitten her dog and she had to take it to the vet. Apparently Molly had gone around the edge of the pond and came out in their yard, and all 3 of their dogs (2 Min Pins and a Poodle) came rushing at Molly to protect their turf. Molly thought she was being attacked (?) and bit one of the Min Pins right on it's fat little butt. She wanted me to keep Molly at home (fat chance) and please, her sister was here with her 2 little Pugs and she didn't want any dog fights. And BTW, her dad died in the nursing home last night. (He has been there in last stage Altzheimers for over 7 years.) She said it was relief, but there was a lot of paperwork and she didn't want to have to be worrying about the dogs. Of course, I apologized profusely and offered my condolences. The vet just put some antibiotic cream on the dogs apparently, no stitches or anything...so I assume the bites were not bad.
So--I kept her in the house the rest of the day, meaning that I was stuck in here with a whining, whistling Jack Russell Terrorist. After it was dark and there was no danger of the little dogs being outside, I let her out for a bit. I told the Irishman to make sure he does not let her out to run in the morning....I cannot chase her down. My life will be hell for the next week or so. Sigh....
I spent the day being chased down by the 7 dwarves of Menopause. I felt like crying a lot, and I don't have a reason for it. I was bitchy and sweaty and feeling like a giant fat pig. I am going to make an appointment with a new doctor in the area, who does the bioidentical hormone treatment....a friend of mine is seeing her and said she cannot believe how much better she feels. If I can afford to do it, I will.
On a lighter note, I realized this afternoon that the days are getting longer. It's light when the Irishman goes to work in the morning and still light when he comes home. This screams to me that spring is on it's way, that the cabin fever will soon be over with, and temperatures will start to climb. That I can still believe in spring is a good sign. Because I am so tired of this winter and this cold...that I have been looking at real estate in New Mexico. Living in the desert looks like heaven to me right now....There's still so much snow in my yard that you can't see the garden beds. It looks like an ice floe back there...solid white as far as you can see.
Tomorrow is a new day. I will wake up being more grateful than I have been today and more committed to my meditation and prayers. I will make sure I eat breakfast and I will drink more water. I will look at my world through a new set of eyes and be filled with wonder.
Maybe.
Namaste.
