Had a really ridiculous conversation with someone this morning...the kind that leaves you scratching your head, and you'd be walking away with a snort if you weren't on the damn computer. LOL
The conversation went something like this:
G-- I don't know why you bother. It doesn't make any difference anyway.
Me-- Well, it makes a difference to me.
G--I don't know how it could.
Me-- ...What? How can you even say that?
G-- Well, it's not like it impacts your life or anything.
Me-- How in the hell can you know what impacts MY life or doesn't? Everything I do impacts my life in one way or another. That's true for all of us.
G-- Well, it's just basic logic.
Me-- ..WHAT? It's got nothing to do with logic, my friend. It's got to do with ME..with my core values, with the mindfulness of living MY life the way I need to.
G-- No, you're wrong.
Me-- What? ( in disbelief).
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Sigh...I have another friend who is a strange bird, and is always saying things like--people are so stupid--and I shake my head in amusement. But this one...this one I wanted to reach out and touch someone..if you know what I mean.
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the depth and breadth of the way I live. Mostly because I'm too busy living it. lol But I have learned a lot about surrounding yourself with like minded people if you want a little peace in your life. Otherwise you're that salmon swimming upstream, and getting the crap beat out of you all the way. Is it worth that journey? I don't know. I do know that I like some diversity in my life too...keeps me thinking about things and on my toes. So, I didn't think--I'm done with this one. lol I just had to step away from the fray for a minute.
Here's the thing, see...I am a very flexible person. I have become this way from too many times of refusing to bend in the wind and getting snapped off at the trunk. It's much easier in this life (for me) to have a few steadfast things that I will not budge on..things like animal and child abuse, and justice and equality. The other things I can get on board with or stand on the shore. Just depends on which way the wind is blowing, lol. One of my favorite people in the world used to say..well, I don't have to attend every fight I'm invited to...and I kinda use that as a compass sometimes. However, being human as I am, I sometimes get drawn into things like this because I react defensively to something someone says to me, interpreting it as an attack. And sometimes it is and sometimes (more often, probably) it is not...but I have reacted so quickly that I don't see that.
That's probably what happened this morning.
Like most people, I think, I don't like having my personal lifestyle or behaviors challenged. Usually I can laugh it off and say--If you don't like it, then don't do it.
I do a lot of the things I do because in my long trek across this planet, lo these many years, I have learned and relearned something I learned in my youth. It is this:
"If it feels good--DO it."
Of course, it means a little something different to me now than it did in the 60's. But still...it's a good rule of thumb.
Organic gardening makes me feel good--so I do it.
Eating healthy foods make me feel good--so I do it.
Living in a clean smoke free house makes me feel good--so I do it.
Having dogs and cats that live in my house makes me feel good--
Learning to make as many things from scratch as I can so that I don't have to buy them--
Sharing what I have with ones who have less, when I can--
Reading books with paper pages--
Listening to Reggae music (like right now)--
Petting my chickens every morning when they parade out the coop door--
Cooking for my friends and family--
Raising my arms up to a starlit sky and spinning in the dark--
Opening the windows on a breezy day and watching the lace curtains flutter back and forth--
Burying my face in the laundry after it comes in off the line, and smelling that clean---
And the list goes on and on. Little things of no consequence to anyone but myself maybe... things that make me feel good. Things that brighten my meager existence, lol. Meager. that's funny.
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I think I'm going to get the juicer out and make some carrot and kale juice for lunch. With a salad. Or a lentil loaf sandwich on home made bread. I have green bunching onions coming up out in the garden and the kale has a new lease on life these past warm days. The chickweed is brilliantly green and I might put some of that in too--gave the chooks a big bunch of it this morning and they were happily gobbling it up as I walked around the yard.
It's a beautiful day to not care about anything political (Republicans) or anything ludicrous (Limbaugh) or anything scary (GMO's) or anything ugly (everything has a seed of beauty in it, doesn't it?). I don't really have plans to go anywhere, or any big jobs to do, but might make a new batch of bagels today (or tomorrow)...just make a glass of iced herbal tea and go sit out on the porch in my hunter green rocking chair and listen to my wind chimes that are tuned in the key of D...and reflect on just how lucky I am to be here now. To have lived long enough to see the beauty in my simple life. To be me. Just for today.
