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It's been a rough few days...a friend lost her oldest son to a heroin overdose-services tomorrow. My heart hurts for her and for all the untreated addicts and alcoholics out there. Once again I am shown how incredibly blessed I am to be walking around clean and sober. Once again, I see the first hand anguish of an incredible loss that every mother fears...loss of a child. Because no matter if they are 10 or 17 or 37, they are always our child. And once again I am so grateful that I have (so far) been spared that horror. And my heart hurts for my friend in the face of this unspeakable incident.
My youngest sister's husband is a twin, and this week his twin brother died after a battle with cancer. That battle was mostly won, but the treatment of it wreaked havoc on a liver already decimated by cirrhosis. He was 66 years old and we will have a memorial service this evening for him. I cannot yet imagine the grief of the loss of a sibling, and I know it must be even worse when you are a twin. My heart goes out to them all. And the only thing I can do is suit up and show up and be there, in whatever little ways I can.
We (and when I say we, I mean I) feel our most helpless in the face of grief, I think...when there is nothing anyone can do to change what has happened. When all you can do is stand by and watch the pain and hurt of the people most deeply affected by the loss and not even find the words to say that are not trite or empty or sounding foolish. And yet...and yet... I will go and I will offer up my love and that's all there is.
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So...more snow. And deaths. And I am so tired of being cooped up and am ready for a little break in the weather, which we are getting today and tomorrow. And it will be good.
I canned about 20 pints of boneless/skinless chicken breast last week. 2 jars broke, (one from the rim down) but I was able to save the chicken as the canner hadn't started yet. 2 jars didn't seal...after 75 minutes of pressure canning--never had that happen before either. I suspect they are not making canning lids like they used to...I had several last year that buckled (they still sealed) and looked weird after canning. Another thing I hadn't seen before. Ho Hum. The older I get, the more new lessons surprise me. lol
I have been offered another writing opportunity-- writing a sustainable/local/healthy food article for a newsletter that goes out only twice a year. No pay for it, but it's a cause I am deeply involved in, so there's that. It is the ministry connected to our local ecological society, the Mission for the Integrity and Justice of Creation ... the newsletter goes to over half the states in the country, and I thought it would be a good challenge for me to try to write a short article. lol I am excited about doing it.
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Last night I made a Middle Eastern supper night...falafel, hummus, lots of fresh veggies to dip, pita chips and lettuce leaves to wrap the falafel in. It was seriously good finger food. Tonight I am making peanut butter chicken per my husbands request....it will be served with basmati rice and steamed broccoli , and I need to get it started so that I will not be putting supper on the table too late. I don't plan to stay too long at the service today, so hopefully...Thing is, that Irishman comes home from work hungry as a bear. lol
Alrighty. I have been very slow getting started this morning and am now seriously behind. lol Need to get it up and running. I pulled a muscle somehow in my back/shoulder/neck and couldn't sleep. When I finally did, I dreamed of gardens and 20 foot tall tomatoes and incredible bounty. Hopefully that is a vision of the year to come...heaven knows we don't particularly need another year like 2014...
Namaste
6 comments:
So sorry, Annie, for the losses you and your loved ones have been experiencing. You're right, there are no words for us to express our grief, but just being there to say "I'm so sorry," and offering our support is what is needed at this time.
We still have another couple of months up here in northern MN before we can start feeling springtime-ish, but it will be here before we know it. Then we'll all be so busy outside we'll remember fondly our winter hours when we were able to be inside! Hang in there.
In the face of the unspeakable, we comfort and move on in life.....
ALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=
Ik ben zo moe van de winter! Even the smallest action can make a world of difference, Annie. Even if there aren't words, there are hugs. Heroin is such a scurge now - it's everywhere. My heart goes out to your friend. I am focused on next week, when it will just start to perk up. I refuse to even acknowledge this week.
So sorry for all of your losses - the lady losing a son due to over dose. How very horrible for her. No parent should ever have to bury their child - it's not how life should work!! If only life worked the way it should - I know. Our winter has been mild - all the snow (or most of it anyway) has gone to other parts of the country and left us alone. Now the farmers will be hurting for moisture this summer probably.
Boy do I miss tomatoes. Here in western Maine the season is too short and cool - we may get a few but they are usually unripe in the middle and tasteless. I know that our taste buds change as we age; but the tomatoes today are not the same as those we grew in Mississippi when I was a young man... they were so acidic that they would burn your lips and their taste was wonderful.
It is just not the same.
the Ol'Buzzard
Hi Annoie,
I haven't stopped apparently since January--OMG! I am all caught up again. So many losses!! And health issues, too! What a winter. I hope it has warmed up your way. Mother Nature has been playing see-saw games with us up here--70s last Sunday and 18 degrees this morning.
I'm glad you have your friend there for coffee and laughter and chats through all this. At least you didn't mention she was able to leave yet. So nice of you to be a port in the storm for her.
I hope your dream of bounty comes true this year. And I hope you are feeling okay. I have had a winter where I have felt cruddy and needed to be jump-started to get anything done so I totally knew what you were talking about. Spring is around the corner. Been a long freezing brown winter up here. Quite strange. May the rest of March be good and peaceful. :)
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